Chapter 311 1V110, Battle Record Available

Zeng Xiaoxian walked into the Sunny Day Bar.

He laughed heartily at the few people and said, "What are you talking about?"

Ziqiao and Yifei, who were secretly chatting at the bar, looked at Zeng Xiaoxian: "Yifei wants to ask you about your lover..."

Ziqiao was halfway through his words when Yifei, who looked fierce, covered his mouth tightly.

"Lover, what lover?" Zeng Xiaoxian asked curiously.

Yifei asked with a fake smile: "As the saying goes, a lover's eyes see beauty, so what does beauty see?"

Zeng Xiaoxian thought for a moment and raised his eyebrows confidently: "Eye boogers."

"Ugh..." Guan Gu on the side was immediately disgusted by Zeng Xiaoxian's answer.

Just at this time, Meijia handed Guan Gu a small cake that looked like eye boogers: "Guan Gu, you should eat more too."

Guan Gu waved his hands in disgust to refuse.

"Hey, I've been here for 10 seconds. Don't you want to ask me what happened after my date with Laura last night?" Zeng Xiaoxian said with high spirits.

He is now a conspicuous person who wants to prove to his friends that his choice is absolutely correct.

Nanfeng shook his head: "Not interested."

Zhanbo laughed dryly: "Not interested."

Yumo even rolled his eyes at Zeng Xiaoxian: "Don't bother me."

"Hey, are you three really like this?"

Zeng Xiaoxian complained: "I finally got out of the haze of the past, shouldn't you care about me more?"

"Care, care."

"Blessings, blessings."

Nanfeng, who was playing with his phone with his head down, made a few perfunctory remarks. He raised his eyes and said: "You are so pretentious, as if we don't care about you and we won't say anything."

"You have your own mouth, you can say it if you want to, or forget it if you don't want to."

"Why are you so angry these days?"

Zeng Xiaoxian rarely saw Nanfeng's indifferent look, and he took a curious look at Nanfeng's phone.

"You are actually reading... a parenting guide? ! ! "

Zeng Xiaoxian grabbed Nanfeng's arm, his eyes full of curiosity and excitement: "When did you have a child, or are you going to be a father soon?

"The most important thing is, who is this child with?"

Nanfeng pointed casually: "With his."

"What?!!"

Guan Gu was shocked when he was pointed at for no reason.

"Then it's with her."

Yu Mo, who was pointed at, smiled and pushed Nanfeng.

She explained: "It's like this, Yifei asked me, Nanfeng and Zhanbo to help Xiaobo look after the baby in the afternoon.

"The three of us have no parenting foundation, so we can only let Nanfeng take care of it temporarily."

"Is that so." Zeng Xiaoxian nodded in understanding, "If that's the case, Yumo, why don't you learn it?"

"No."

Yu Mo refused very firmly: "I don't like children, children are a killer that makes women age."

"You say it as if I like it."

Nanfeng sighed: "I really can't think that one day I can also be the main force in taking care of the baby. "

Zeng Xiaoxian patted Nanfeng's shoulder in understanding: "The more capable, the more work. With Yumo's memory, she might be able to throw the child on the sofa.

"If Zhanbo is the main force, I doubt he will fold the baby like a Transformer."

"How is it possible!" Zhanbo shouted like a child.

I am not an idiot, how could I do such a stupid thing.

Mei Jia's eyes rolled and revealed two shallow dimples: "So Mr. Zeng, how was your date last night?"

Although Nanfeng and others were not interested in Zeng Xiaoxian's self-degradation, Mei Jia was really curious.

Luckily, Youyou is now filming, otherwise, with her personality, the whole bar would have been filled with Youyou's questioning the moment Zeng Xiaoxian entered the bar.

Seeing that someone finally brought up this matter, Zeng Xiaoxian said mysteriously: "You will never believe it if I tell you, she is now completely different from what I imagined."

Then, Zeng Xiaoxian described in detail the details of his date with Laura yesterday.

After listening to the love-hate relationship between Laura and that Johnnylulu, the old drivers led by Nanfeng suddenly looked strange and hesitated to speak.

[In her inner world, Meijia wore a hip skirt and a white shirt, just like a professional Japanese teacher. ]

[She pointed at the blackboard with a pointer, adjusted her black-framed glasses and asked the students below. ]

[Known: Johneylulu and Laura are a man and a woman, and a grenade exploded less than one meter away from Laura. ]

[Without considering the serious violation of the laws of physics, "Why can't a grenade exploded at close range kill Laura, the female sea king", the shrapnel passed through the corner of Laura's eyes, but accurately sterilized Johnnylulu. ]

[Request: Laura and Johnnylulu's postures and what they did at the time. ]

[Meijia stroked the pointer in her hand, bit her red lips with her pearly teeth, trying to be serious but unable to stop laughing. 】

【Please answer the questions and submit a relevant text material of no less than one million words or a film and television image corresponding to the answer. 】

【Students who provide a reference website for relevant learning materials will receive extra points...】

The veterans exchanged glances, confirming that they were not the only ones who had misunderstood.

Zeng Xiaoxian was originally planning to talk about his fantasy adventure, but he saw that everyone looked weirder than the other, and Meijia's eyes made him feel inexplicably panicked.

"Why do you all look so twisted? Did you take the wrong medicine?"

Everyone looked at each other and started rock-paper-scissors directly.

Yu Mo, who lost in the end, could only explain to Zeng Xiaoxian: "Teacher Zeng, you are probably not a virgin anymore."

"Cough cough cough..."

Zeng Xiaoxian said with a panic: "Why do you ask this suddenly?"

Yu Mo blushed and said, "Have you never thought about what kind of posture Laura and Johneylulu were in so that a shrapnel that passed through the corner of Laura's eye could accurately perform sterilization on Johneylulu?"

"What posture?"

Zeng Xiaoxian looked confused.

"That's right, that's right..."

"oops!"

Yu Mo pushed Nan Feng: "Help me explain to him."

"No, I would like to bet..."

Midway through Nan Feng's words, Yu Mo stared at him resentfully.

"Okay, okay."

Nanfeng put down his cell phone and stretched out his right hand to Zeng Xiaoxian.

He pointed to his ring finger and said, "Let's say this is johneylulu."

"Well, what next?" Zeng Xiaoxian asked.

Then Nanfeng used his middle finger to pass behind the ring finger, so that the originally slender middle finger could only see a short section of it exposed in the gap between the little finger and the ring finger.

"Suppose the ring finger is johneylulu, then the finger on my middle finger is the most prominent part of johneylulu. Can you understand?"

"I understand this!"

Zeng Xiaoxian said with a cheerful smile: "This is his belly!"

"How big is your belly!"

Nanfeng said angrily: "The most prominent thing about your body is your belly?"

Everyone burst into laughter, and Yifei and Meijia stared straight at Zeng Xiaoxian's lower body.

Zeng Xiaoxian said in embarrassment: "I just wanted to make a joke. Didn't I know that this is johneylulu's second brother?"

"very good."

Nanfeng then raised his left hand: "Suppose the index finger of my left hand is Laura, now the point is coming."

He bent his left index finger into the shape of the number nine, and then under Zeng Xiaoxian's disbelieving and horrifying gaze, the bent left index finger slowly touched the exposed part of his right middle finger.

"hiss……"

Zeng Xiaoxian held his head in his hands in shock, as if he wanted to lift his whole body up by his hair.

Hu Yifei held back her laughter and made a hand grenade exploding gesture.

"boom!"

she said with gloating voice.

"call out……"

Yu Mo, who was sitting next to Nan Feng, used his index finger to replace the burst shrapnel. The shrapnel scratched Nan Feng's left index finger and lightly touched Nan Feng's middle finger.

"ah!!!"

Following Nanfeng's shrill scream, he threw his right hand on the sofa. The ring finger that represented johneylulu was still twitching, except for the middle finger that was exposed just now.

It can only be said that Nanfeng is indeed a professional voice actor. Just one scream made the male compatriots present subconsciously cover their crotches.

Except Zeng Xiaoxian...

At this time, Zeng Xiaoxian was closing his eyes tightly and hitting his head with a pair of fists.

"Oh my god!"

"Oh my god!!"

"Oh my god!!!"

He wailed repeatedly.

At this time, the honest Guan Gu stabbed Zeng Xiaoxian hard in the heart: "Teacher Zeng, I just heard you say that Laura thought of you the moment the bullet scratched her cheek?"

Zeng Xiaoxian's whole body suddenly froze, and all the color seemed to drain away from him at this moment.

There are bright colors all around, but he is in monotonous black and white.

Zi Qiao cleared her throat and dealt the fatal blow to the faded Zeng Xiaoxian.

He imitated Laura's voice and said: "Xian'er, push quickly, johneylulu is running out of energy."

Zeng Xiao Xian:"……"

Zeng Xiaoxian, who was already faded and dim, seemed to have been crumpled into a ball by a pair of invisible hands and thrown into the trash can as waste paper.

"vomit……"

Zeng Xiaoxian couldn't help but vomit wildly, and it wasn't even retching.

"Holy shit!"

Now everyone stood up in a hurry: "Trash can! Trash can!"

"Tissues, tissues!"

"Water, who can go and prepare a glass of warm water for him first!"

…

Ten minutes later, Zeng Xiaoxian raised his head from the trash can with red eyes.

"Teacher Zeng, please don't vomit again."

Nanfeng and Ziqiao patted Zeng Xiaoxian's back gently. Nanfeng pinched his nose and said, "If you keep vomiting, you will almost spit out bile."

"Xiao Xian, I'm really sorry."

Zi Qiao rarely showed a hint of guilt: "I saw that you accepted Laura so quickly, and I thought you didn't care about this."

Wan Yu on the side also said: "Teacher Zeng, it seems like you can't accept a woman like Laura in your heart. Otherwise, you should just forget it."

"No, I'm fine, I'm fine."

Zeng Xiaoxian, who was vomiting to death, wiped his mouth and said with dignity: "This is all in the past. Besides, johneylulu was her husband before. Even if the two of them have nothing..."

"vomit……"

Zeng Xiaoxian pretended to vomit again, but all the contents in his stomach had already been vomited.

"It's normal for the two of them to have anything!"

Zeng Xiaoxian said angrily.

Everyone looked at each other and said nothing.

"Aren't you... surprised?"

Seeing that Zeng Xiaoxian did not get the scolding and admonition he expected, he became dissatisfied: "Laura is a divorced woman. No, to be precise, she got married and divorced during the 664 days we were apart. , divorced and married again.

"She had three ex-husbands, six boyfriends, and two fiancés...

"Why are you still so calm?"

"Teacher Zeng."

Meijia smiled sheepishly: "Is there a possibility... that we know these things earlier than you do?"

"How can it be!"

Nanfeng sighed, and he took out a thick stack of manuscripts from nowhere: "Thanks to Youyou who is filming, she stayed up all night to find Laura's victim information for you.

"In fact, Laura has dated a little more men in the past two years than the number you just mentioned."

Zeng Xiaoxian asked nervously: "How much more?

"It can't be twice as many!"

Three plus six plus two is already eleven, and if it is doubled, it will be twenty-two.

Twenty-two!

Enough to organize a football match!

"Multiple zeros."

"Multiple... zeros!"

Zeng Xiaoxian rolled his eyes and fainted completely.