Chapter 585

"Our communication is indeed very problematic." Xia Yan's emotions became agitated, "She doesn't seem to understand what I'm saying at all, I tell her this, she says that, but! She still doesn't feel that her understanding is insufficient Question, you still say that I am stubborn, can you figure it out? Who is stubborn?!"

"The concept of intergenerational disagreement."

"It's not just this." The expression on Xia Yan's face became a little hurt, "I think my mother-in-law often opposes me for the sake of opposing me. She doesn't like me."

"About the fact that mother-in-law doesn't like daughter-in-law, many mother-in-laws don't like daughter-in-law." Ning Youguang was silent for a while and said, "When I was watching TV before, a host said, 'mother-in-law itself has no obligation to like daughter-in-law. The mother-in-law likes her daughter-in-law, it should be the ability of the daughter-in-law, not the obligation of the mother-in-law. After all, she never gave birth to you, and you are not a piece of meat that fell from her body.' I think what he said is true Makes sense. However, you don’t have to doubt yourself. Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can get along very well, but if they can’t get along well, then do your own role and learn to keep a distance from each other. You have to like someone, especially from the perspective of a mother-in-law. She was originally the closest person to her son, but then the daughter-in-law appeared and snatched her son away. Many mother-in-laws can’t change their minds, and they won’t like their daughter-in-law. If the daughter-in-law keeps torturing her She is so big, she dislikes her daughter-in-law even more. So keep a distance between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, respect each other, and live in harmony. Don’t think that she can treat you the same as her son. This is impossible, mother and daughter When getting along with each other, we must maintain an appropriate distance, and for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, don't expect too much."

"Then sometimes, her excessive intervention really hinders the normal life of our little family, what should we do?" Xia Yan asked.

"Make good use of your husband." Ning Youguang said, "Your mother-in-law doesn't listen to you, does she listen to your husband?"

"It sounds pretty good."

"That's it." Ning Youguang said, "It's only stupid girls who confront their mother-in-law. Smart girls usually hide behind their husbands and play chess, you know?"

The silly girl Xia Yan scratched her head anxiously.

She is straightforward, and she is used to saying what she has to say, so she always ends up making herself very angry and at a disadvantage.

"How do you play chess behind your husband?"

"Don't bring up any problems you have with your mother-in-law directly. Instead, talk to your husband later about what you think needs to be adjusted. After the discussion, ask your husband to talk to his mother." Ning Youguang said, "Since If your mother-in-law doesn't listen to you, then don't tell her, find someone she is willing to listen to and talk to her."

"I'll try." Xia Yan thought her suggestion was good.

Although she has decided to implement Ning Youguang's advice, Xia Yan is still worried, "What if the conflict between me and my mother-in-law still cannot be resolved, and she still wants to interfere with the child's affairs?"

Ning Youguang thought about it, and felt that Xia Yan's problem still needs to be solved from a fundamental point of view, "Then you need to stand in a united position no matter who you are with at home, hello, hello, hello everyone." Think about it from a different perspective.”

"For example?" Xia Yan asked seriously.

"For example, you now think that the baby is your child, right? So whenever your mother-in-law arranges some complementary food for the child that you think is inappropriate, or uses some inappropriate parenting methods to raise your child, then you will not Approval, emotions, and conflict with her afterwards, right?" Ning Youguang explained to Xia Yu in detail.

"right."

"During this process, your disapproval of everything your mother-in-law did stems from the fact that what she did was done to your child. Remember, 'your' child." Ning Youguang said it word by word. Xia Yan's analysis was crushed, and he broke it apart and said, "If your mother-in-law treats other people's children in the same way, would you think there is a problem? Would you be angry?"

Xia Yan froze for a moment, "I won't be angry, maybe I won't even care."

"This is the core of the problem." Ning Youguang said, "Any conflict between you and your mother-in-law is because you have a child of 'me' to your son, because it is a child of 'me', so It is wrong for her to do that, it is inappropriate, and it is bad. All the judgments you make on her are protecting the child of "my". If the word "I" is removed, your mother-in-law will use her The way of raising a child is just a child, not your child, and you don’t know whose child it is, so you will not feel that everything she does is wrong. All the contradictions and conflict points between you will be gone, and you will naturally get along harmoniously, and you will see each other pleasing to the eye, right? In the same way, you can also change things like this when facing your husband. Think about it."

After Xia Yan listened carefully, she felt that what Ning Youguang said was right, but at the same time it seemed wrong.

"You shouldn't think about it this way. My son is my son, and my husband is my husband. This is a fact that cannot be changed. As long as my son is still my son, my husband is still my husband." Well, if my mother-in-law doesn't change her way of doing things, we will never be harmonious."

Ning Youguang could understand that Xia Yan didn't understand what she said, so he could only continue to say, "Okay, then let me tell you now, your child is not your child, he just came to this world through you to experience his life. It's not yours. If you don't recognize this, then, no matter before or in the future, whenever you encounter any problems related to your children, you will stand from the perspective of "I", then you will only educate your children from your own perspective. Think about it from a different perspective, right?"

"Yes." Xia Yan nodded.

"So, whether it is the problem of raising a baby now, or the problem of educating a baby in the future, as long as you choose to think about everything related to him from your perspective, then your thinking is limited to your own perspective, but you think Think, what if this child is not yours but yours? What will happen to you? You will raise and teach him from the perspective of the family, right? In this way, in some ways of raising the child, you will I will consider the thoughts of everyone in the family, and I will think about discussing with them a plan that the whole family thinks is right, right? Instead of what you think, what is good, you just do it, and in the end it is not as good as it is If you agree with other members of the family, you are in conflict with them."

Seeing that Xia Yu's expression had calmed down, Ning Youguang continued talking to her. 1314