1424 Dialogue with Self
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The filming of "Booming Drummer" was in full swing and orderly. All the conditions of the crew continued to proceed step by step and smoothly. The collapse and loss of control that people were worried about did not appear. Not only that, Renly's performance is getting more and more interesting, More and more, Damien can always find more sparks in Renly, and the chemistry on the set gradually becomes more interesting.
The whole shooting process is more like a brainstorm of artistic creation, not the kind of model application on the assembly line.
Damien always has countless ideas, trying to capture different picture fragments with different lenses and different angles; and Renly is always able to interpret Damien's ideas, and even further deduce the Andrew's color, then unknowingly guides the progress of the story.
Fortunately, the concerns of Renly's friends did not come true, which made everyone a little relieved, and returned to their work and life one after another, but Paul still stayed in New York, he just ended " During the filming of Violent Neighborhood, I happened to be on vacation, so I just took my daughter Meado into the Big Apple and enjoyed a summer on the East Coast.
Everything seems to be on track.
But Renly knew it was all an illusion.
With the filming of "Booming Drummer", the sense of restraint is getting more and more serious and clear, as if standing in front of a full-length mirror, outside the mirror, I look good and there is no problem; The self in the middle is strictly tied into a mummy, no matter how hard it is, it is useless.
What's worse is that in the eyes of others, he is only the appearance outside the mirror, safe and sound, and the posture in the mirror is like a pure illusion. This is like a watermelon. It looks perfect on the surface, but after cutting it, it is found that the inside has gradually started to rot.
This kind of restraint is the restraint of performance, but also the restraint of Andrew.
It's a very chaotic and very chaotic feeling.
Under Fletcher's pressing step by step, Andrew was escaping into the darkness step by step, becoming more and more cold-blooded, more and more cruel, more and more brutal, more and more violent, and the whole person was like a bloodthirsty beast. The edge of the cliff is rampant, and it is possible to fall into the abyss without knowing when and how.
That invisible sense of restraint seems to be dragging his limbs, unable to break through the speed, unable to control the strength, the whole person is like a deep muddy foot, the more struggling, the more difficult it is. Subconsciously, he wanted to break through, to break free, and to hit, but the powerful reaction force of the restraint made him gradually start to suffocate.
In the dark, the double-jump technique and the four hundred strikes have both made progress. He seems to be within reach, but he is always unable to go further. Every practice and every strike falls into a rut. This feeling of suffocation and depression is making him become more and more angry and irritable, and at the same time, more and more confused and dazed.
That sense of restraint seemed to be the only force he was fighting against. But the problem is that he can't tell whether this is a barrier that is preventing his technological breakthrough or an umbrella that is preventing him from falling into the abyss?
At the same time, he couldn't tell whether this was a calm barrier that was preventing his acting skills from breaking through again, or was it the last insurance that was preventing him from confusing reality and fantasy?
It's too weird to feel this way. It's not only the blurring between acting and reality, character and self, but also the depression and restraint that can be felt in the illusory world and in the real world, which may be good or bad. Yes, it may be correct, it may be dangerous, that indistinguishable gray emotion, tightly, tightly bound every nerve in him, and gradually began to breathe.
It's like... if the description is not completely accurate, it's like Chu Jiashu just woke up in the last life.
The long slumber after the car accident finally passed, his eyes still couldn't open, but his body had slowly regained consciousness. Hearing and touch seemed to open a small window, and then he began to try to move his body, but his brain's consciousness had already been conveyed. He obeyed the command, but his body could not feel any movement, he began to struggle, he began to resist, he began to exert force...
The irritability and panic gradually hit his heart, he couldn't calm down, and he didn't want to calm down.
When he realized that he had lost control of his body, the energy that erupted from anger and suffocation was even more turbulent and violent than the volcano that had accumulated energy for many years, and the whole world began to shake. But no matter what, his efforts, his struggles, his unyielding efforts were all in vain.
And then more grumpy. more angry. more depressed.
In the face of such a situation, either break down and stand up, successfully break down the barriers, and regain a new life; or return without success, truly realize that all your efforts are just ants stealing your life, your mind is numb, and then... After this remnant of life, either complaining about the heavens and others, suffering from the world, or finding a new way to shine.
Feeling this way and experiencing it doesn't make it easy to experience it once. After the restless and annoyed emotions accumulated to the extreme, they finally vented out——
Andrew lost control, he kicked over the jazz drum, raised his fist, ready to die with Fletcher, he threw Fletcher fiercely, and started beating Fletcher regardless, the red-red The eyes have completely lost the shadow of reason, and everything has become blurred.
This is not /slaying/father, this is still just resistance. uncontrollable resistance
, the resistance to overthrow the authority, the resistance to stand up, this is the last step before the /killing/father.
The whole scene was filmed smoothly, from tension to confrontation, from intensity to detail, all the performances were perfect, making Damien shout in high spirits, and even rushed out of the performance hall, crying and wailing outside for a while. , to celebrate the completion of the filming of the important turning point.
But after the performance, Renly was gasping for breath. The feeling of suffocation and depression was not relieved, and it was burning like a flame in his chest, and the hot and scorching flames were continuously hitting him. All the lines of defense, but he was stubbornly and stubbornly imprisoned in place, as if he could only watch himself burn up and turn to ashes.
Dazedly, Renly sat alone in the corner of the practice room, facing the corner of the wall, like a child thinking about the wall. After the volcano erupted, his physical strength and energy fell into a state of exhaustion; The feeling still hasn't disappeared, it's just exhausted, unable to resist, and unable to fight anymore.
The exhaustion from the depths of the soul made the brain dizzy and plunged into the darkness.
In a trance, the second world in my mind reappeared that vague figure: a figure trapped on a white hospital bed like a mummy.
Gradually, the picture is getting closer, slowly and slowly, getting closer and closer, those facial features, those expressions and that face become more and more clear, after the focus and focal length are completely adjusted, Chu Jiashu looks like It appeared in front of him, which immediately made Renly panic:
Chu Jiashu is him, and Ren Li is also him, both of them are him, and he is standing beside the hospital bed now, then, who is the person lying on the hospital bed?
Unexpectedly, he stretched out his right hand and touched Chu Jiashu's right hand lightly, with a "whoosh" sound, and then he entered the body and was trapped in it, a familiar scene It appeared again-
He is the mummy, the mummy who was trapped in place and bound, the mummy who struggled and resisted in vain no matter what. It's him, it's always been him, it's always been him, it hasn't changed.
Ryan Stone is him, LeVine Davis is him, Andrew Neiman is him, Chu Jiashu is him, Renly Hall is also him... Those very different faces quickly. Switching alternately, and finally all merged into one face: the face that was reflected in the mirror and bound by the mummy.
He was struggling, he was resisting, he was desperate, but he was completely powerless to resist.
How is this going?
What exactly is going on?
He thought that he had bid farewell to the past, that he had regained a new life, that he had cut off his obsession, that he had opened up the future... But why is he still stuck in place? After going around in circles all his life, he finally returned to the starting point. So, are all his efforts in vain?
It's not fair!
He began to struggle, struggling relentlessly. Those anger, unwillingness, irritability and pain made him frantically try to resist, but his soul was imprisoned in his body, as if it was stuffed into a glass bottle The ants inside, no matter how they resist, they still can't break through.
The soul began to burn, releasing all the energy, the pain reached the extreme, the pain nerves in the mind were in jeopardy, the mouth opened wide, but not even a sound came out, and there was a "beep" in the ear. The sound was as if the electrocardiogram was pulled into a straight line, and then the whole world disappeared into the darkness, and I couldn't feel anything anymore, and all the pain and bitterness disappeared, as if the whole person was in the boundless dark universe. Floating in general.
Not Ryan Stone's state, but Renly Hall's state.
In that endless vast universe, he saw himself. To be more precise, Ren Li saw Chu Jiashu, and the two stood face to face, like two sides of a mirror:
The one on the outside has dark brown curly hair and light brown eyes, and the tall figure outlines the manners of a gentleman; the one on the inside, with short black hair and black eyes, has a slightly thin body that reveals a bookishness. Two completely different faces, but with the same soul, just staring at each other quietly, every move, every frown and smile are so similar.
This is him, that is him, both are him. So, who is he?
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