Chapter 1068: Love Is Hard, Hate Is Also Hard

"Are you okay?" Feng Yiping asked from the camel, regardless of Zhang Yan's resisting posture.

Before the camel leader could let the camel sit down, he jumped off the camel's back again and walked towards Zhang Yan on his sand-filled shoes, "Are you hungry or thirsty?"

"Did you bring water?" he asked Wang Minghai.

"I brought some," Zhang Yan took out a kettle from his backpack. It was the same one he had given him a few years ago.

It turns out that I still have sense and know that I need to bring water when I get to a place like this.

"Are you hungry? I heard that you didn't eat in the morning or at noon,"

"I can't eat, I don't feel hungry," Zhang Yan shook his head.

"go back?"

She still shook her head.

"Wu Qian, you go down. I'll sit with her. Do you have anything to eat? I'm a little hungry."

So, he left a small pile of supplies in front of him, including energy bars, chocolates, biscuits, beef jerky, apples... and a intact naan in a plastic bag, which was left by the person leading the camel.

"Don't want to eat?" Feng Yiping divided the naan into two halves, tore open the mustard roll that someone had brought with him and put it in the middle. He quickly made a mustard roll, took a bite, and thought it was pretty good.

Mainly because after seeing Zhang Yan, my heart felt at ease and my stomach suddenly felt hungry.

"I have this," Zhang Yan stretched out his hand, holding two chocolate wrappers in his palm.

Feng Yiping was dumbfounded, yes, why should we worry that she would be hungry?

To be honest, he is a real foodie. Not to mention other things, I remember there was a quarrel - I really can’t remember the specific reason for the quarrel. Anyway, Zhang Yan felt very wronged and cried that time.

But the point is, while she was crying, she was still chewing on an apple.

After nibbling, he secretly put the core on the table - this was the thing that impressed Feng Yiping the most, because that scene was very interesting.

Why sneak around? Maybe it was because the core was not thrown into the trash can but placed on the table.

It may also be because she realized at that time that eating an apple while crying with grievance might greatly weaken her performance, so she behaved secretly, hoping that Feng Yiping did not see this. matter, or ignore it.

This is enough to show that this is definitely not a guy who will be hungry.

Zhang Yan was also complaining about himself at this time, secretly hitting his outstretched right hand with his left hand.

Why did you show this to him by some strange coincidence? Didn't you agree to ignore him?

"You were sitting here just now, eating chocolate and watching us looking for people up and down the mountain?"

"I didn't look over there, I looked over here," Zhang Yan still held his hands and turned behind him. This side is the vast Gobi desert.

"It's spectacular, right," Feng Yiping said.

Zhang Yan said nothing.

"A glance at a place like this will immediately make you feel like the world has changed, making you deeply feel your own insignificance and helplessness. Being in a place like this will make you miss those people who are very important to you even more."

Feng Yiping took a sip of water and swallowed the last mouthful of naan into his stomach, "For example, to me, that's you,"

This is the first time Feng Yiping has said such words clearly in front of Zhang Yan.

In the past, although the two of them understood each other's thoughts, they did not make it clear and it was always hazy.

Zhang Yan moved, but remained silent. Then, he took a step to the side, causing the distance between her and Feng Yiping to change from two body heights to two and a half body heights.

"I know it was my fault. I didn't handle it well, which led to the situation like this. So later, although I had more opportunities to see you, I didn't do that because, I I don’t dare to face you,”

"Haha, you are the only person in this world that I dare not face now,"

Zhang Yan still didn't respond. There was only the whistle of the wind passing through the wilderness, passing over the undulating sand mountains, and the indistinct murmur of tourists chattering over there.

"Have you been to Mogao Grottoes?" Feng Yiping asked.

"Been there," Zhang Yan hesitated and squeezed out two words.

"Do you believe in Buddhism?"

Again no answer.

"I'm definitely not a devout believer, nor do I believe in Buddhism. I'm not sure whether there will be an afterlife, but I seem to believe that there should be previous lives."

Feng Yiping held a bottle of mineral water and sat on the top of the sand mountain. Regardless of Zhang Yan's lack of response, he continued his stand-up comedy there to the end.

"Or, I believe that some things are indeed determined for a long time,"

"Do you still remember me when we first met?" Feng Yiping asked.

Zhang Yan nodded imperceptibly.

"I remember it very clearly," Feng Yiping said, "It was the eve of the Spring Festival in 1995. You were wearing a sky blue down jacket, a red woolen hat, cotton shoes, and a pair of gloves hanging on your chest. It should have been cold wind. Blowing, my face is a little red,"

"Your brother Zhang Hong is playing with puppies in the field by the roadside."

Zhang Yan finally couldn't help but glance at him. To be honest, even she herself couldn't remember the details clearly.

"Do you know how I feel when I see you? My heart beats very fast for no reason." Feng Yiping put his hand on his heart. "I feel so excited for no reason."

"Although this is definitely the first time I have met you, I am also very sure that you are someone I am very familiar with. Very familiar. In fact, you are more than that. To be precise, you should be my relative and the most important person in my life. people,"

Zhang Yan tilted her head to the side, but her heart was beating.

This was the most profound thing when they first met.

At that time, she also felt that Feng Yiping was very familiar, like her own relative. She remembered that she seemed to have asked her father if Feng Yiping was a relative of hers and whether they had met before.

This is why, when they first met, she accepted the gift from Feng Yiping - the backpack, and the set of stationery, water cup, hat, and walkman inside...

You know, she usually wouldn't accept things given to her by relatives like her uncle, or at least, she would ask her parents for their opinions before making a decision.

Although she only occasionally exchanged text messages with Feng Yiping afterwards, this feeling became clearer and clearer as she got older.

So three years later, when she met Feng Yiping again, it was also the first time she went out alone with him. This time, she remembered very clearly that it was in the county park.

That day, in front of this person who she had only met twice, she felt very comfortable and didn't feel strange at all. It felt like they had always been together.

"Some books say that each of us is incomplete when we come to this world, and we have been searching for our other half. The moment I saw you, I felt complete all of a sudden, so I immediately determined that you are my destined other half," Feng Yiping finally said everything.

However, Zhang Yan was annoyed. If that's the case, why do you still want to find a girlfriend?

It doesn't matter if you have a girlfriend. Zhang Yan can accept this. Men, like him, how can they not have a few relationships.

Moreover, to be honest, although she is definitely hostile to Huang Jingping, after a few contacts, she helplessly discovered that she is indeed a very outstanding girl.

But you even have a child!

What else did Huang Jingping say to herself, "I know that the person in Yiping's heart has always been you, so I will not marry him. The only one who can marry him is you,"

What is this? Is it pity, or charity? Or is it the mercy of the winner?

"I know that what you are most concerned about is me and Jingping. It's my fault. It's really my fault. I didn't handle it well. But I really don't know how to deal with these things. Believe me, this is really not an excuse. In this regard, I am a retard."

"Jingping had a crush on me when she was in junior high school. Although I didn't say anything clearly, I was mainly afraid of hurting her. At that time, I thought that after the high school entrance examination, she and I would naturally go our separate ways. There would be fewer opportunities to meet in the future. Some things would naturally end in vain."

"It was indeed the case at the beginning. After the high school entrance examination, I was in the city and she was in the county. We had little contact. However, after she graduated from the normal school, she actually left the job assigned by the school and ran to the city to find me."

"I was definitely touched and felt responsible for her, so I let her stay in the city. Later, I found that I was also reluctant to leave her."

"Jingping actually always knew that I had someone in my heart. It wasn't until we were really together, that is, when I was a freshman, that she knew it was you, so she took the initiative to meet you later,"

Zhang Yan naturally didn't have a good face at this time. Feng Yiping raised his hand, "I know, I'm not firm enough, I know I was wrong, but later, things happened like that, it has already happened,"

"I naturally feel very sorry for you and dare not face you. I want to forget you from now on, no longer have any contact with you, and not delay your life. I have tried very hard to do this,"

"But the harder I try, the more helpless I am. In the end, I have to admit that I really can't do it no matter what, and forget you,"

Zhang Yan finally took action and kicked the sand twice. Didn't his experience in the past few months also prove this point? The harder he tried, the more helpless he was?

"Jingping had long wanted to have a baby, and I also liked children very much, so I agreed. However, I really didn't know she would say those words to you that time,"

"She said that, and she really didn't mean anything else, she just felt sorry for you and was very guilty,"

"Is this the ending you want most? Be with Jingping first, and then marry me?" Zhang Yan asked with disdain.

"This," Feng Yiping laughed dryly, "To be honest, I have really thought about it,"

"Who do you think you are? You are the richest man, so you have privileges?" Zhang Yan shouted.

"Why did you meet me in the first place? Why did you look for me later, care about me, give me gifts, and help me order food at the restaurant?...,"

"Why did you provoke me? Why did you make me like you? Why did you make me feel that you are the destined person for my life?"

These words, Zhang Yan must have thought about for a long time, and now they are spewing out like pearls.

"Why did you provoke me, give me hope, and be with Jingping at the same time? Why?" She cried in her words, and used her hands and feet to throw sand on Feng Yiping.

"It's all my fault," Feng Yiping closed his eyes and sat there, letting the sand fall on his head, face, and body.

"But no matter how many mistakes I made, I now understand one thing very well. I can't live without you in this life, and I will never accept you being with someone else,"

"Why? Why?" Zhang Yan rushed over with a fist, but when his fist fell, it only landed on his shoulders and chest.

"Fight, as long as you relieve your anger, just fight," Feng Yiping said.

Although he avoided the key parts, Zhang Yan's fist was really not light, but Feng Yiping felt a little relaxed. It was good to react. The more intense the reaction, the better.

If Zhang Yan remained indifferent to her no matter what he said, like at the beginning, that would be real trouble.

After beating for about a few minutes, Zhang Yan sat down on the sofa as if he had lost all strength, holding his head in his hands and burying it in his knees, sobbing and saying, "Why are you provoking me? Why are you provoking me?...,"

Just like a repeater.

After a while, she felt someone touch her shoulder, and shook it angrily, "Don't touch me,"

"Tissues," she heard Feng Yiping say.

When I opened my eyes, I saw Feng Yiping squatting aside fawningly, holding tissues and water in his hands, "Now it is even more important to replenish water in time,"

Seeing his appearance, Zhang Yan suddenly sobbed harder. She wasn't crying for anything else, she was crying for her own lack of future.

This guy should be the one I hate the most. Why can’t I hate him now? Can't you hate him when you see him? Do you even think that those hatreds are far away now?

ps: I wish everyone a happy Mid-Autumn Festival and may people become more round! Thank you all for your support, thank you to book friend Gazi 1973 for your generous reward, thank you to book friend Qiuzhi Shenguang for your uninterrupted daily rewards, and thank you to book friend Mingyue’s father and Oujiuxi for their enthusiastic support and encouragement! thank you all!

ps: I have created a group, 454, 231, 228. Everyone is welcome to visit and provide valuable opinions. I look forward to the opportunity to communicate with you!