Chapter 12: Immortals and Buddhas Separate Families

After hearing my words, the Jade Emperor couldn't help but wave to me and motioned for me to sit on a stone next to him. "Your method is very good, but driving away the demon clan is not easy. At least you have to help me find the demon clan's lair first and know where they are hiding before we can drive them away, right?"

"This is just a matter of time. Please rest assured, Jade Emperor."

The Jade Emperor nodded: "There is another thing about the Buddha Sect that makes me very troubled."

"The Jade Emperor might as well talk about it, maybe I can solve it." In fact, even if I didn't accept this sentence, the Jade Emperor would definitely say it. He made it clear that he was looking for me to help him with things.

The Jade Emperor first looked like he was thinking, and then said: "Did you know that many members of the Buddhist sect were originally from my Taoist school?"

I nodded: "I don't know much about the details, but I heard that the famous Sun Wukong who defeated the Buddha in battle came from Taoism."

The Jade Emperor said with a look of regret: "I don't know how I agreed to the talent exchange plan signed by Tathagata and me in heaven."

"What kind of talent exchange plan is this? I seem to have never heard of it!"

The Jade Emperor shook his head and said: "How can I go out and publicize that kind of unfortunate agreement? The Buddha Sect won't say anything even if it's an advantage! It's just as well that you don't know."

"What does this agreement say?"

The Jade Emperor waved to Taibai Jinxing. "You tell me."

Taibai Jinxing bowed first, and then said: "The main purpose of this agreement back then was to exchange needs and gain mutual benefit. According to the plan, Heavenly Court needs to train several capable new members, and then the Buddha Sect will instruct a few of them to convert to Buddha. Sect. In contrast, the Buddhist Sect also needs to train a few new disciples to join our Immortal Sect."

"That shouldn't be a problem? Isn't this a very ordinary cooperation?"

"If we really want to cooperate honestly, forget it, but Buddhism is cheating on us. Under my immortal sect, a Sun Wukong and a Purple Bamboo Fairy came out. You mortals may have only heard of Journey to the West and know about Sun Wukong. In fact, There is also a Purple Bamboo Fairy whose strength is comparable to that of Sun Wukong. These two are our exchange talents."

"Since you said that the Buddha Sect was cheating, did they give you two useless disciples?"

"That's right." Taibai Jinxing said angrily: "The two disciples sent by the Buddha Sect, one is named Jiahe and the other is called Ni Mo. They are very familiar with the Buddhist scriptures of the Buddha Sect, and they don't have any fighting skills. What do you think of us? Why does Heaven want two bookshelves back? We don’t recite the Buddha’s name, so it’s useless to ask for scriptures!”

"No wonder you are saying we have suffered a huge loss!"

The Jade Emperor couldn't help but said: "Later, we also asked them to replace them, but the Buddhist sect said that these two are the most exquisite Buddhist disciples of Buddhism."

I nodded: "In a sense, these two are indeed profound Buddhist scriptures. They can only be Buddhist scriptures without practical content. Buddhism is very good at word games. All Buddhist scriptures are based on paradoxes and assumptions. This is a classic debate thought, as long as you look at it, you will definitely get involved."

The Jade Emperor asked in confusion: "What are paradoxes and assumptions?"

"It's hard to explain this clearly. You can roughly understand it if I give two analogies. Paradoxes are pros and cons. For example, I say two sentences. The content of the first sentence is: My following sentence is correct. The second sentence The content of the second sentence is: My sentence above is wrong. Which of these two sentences do you think is right?"

The Jade Emperor immediately began to whisper in a low voice: "The above sentence is right, and the following sentence is wrong. If the above sentence is right, then the following sentence saying that the above sentence is wrong should be right. But if the second sentence is Right, that means the sentence above should be wrong. Then if the sentence above says that the sentence below is wrong, it should be conversely understood to mean that the sentence below is wrong...wrong...right...right...wrong... fainted!"

I smiled and said: "Do you understand? This is a paradox. No matter how you understand it, it is wrong."

"I understand." Not only the Jade Emperor, but also the gods below nodded vigorously, obviously they had also fainted just now.

"What about the assumed basis you mentioned?" Taibai Jinxing asked.

"Let's put it this way." I explained: "Give me a super simple example. Someone hung his calligraphy and painting on a rope for an exhibition. When you went to see it, I put a sign next to it to instruct you to enter the exhibition area. The area behind. So the calligraphy and painting you see is either a piece of white paper, or there are only a few ink dots printed through the paper. At this time, others are looking at the calligraphy and painting from the front, constantly praising and saying how good the calligraphy and painting are. But you can live or die. You can’t tell what’s good about it. The reason is that you’re always looking at the back of the calligraphy and painting, so of course you can’t tell what’s good about it.”

The Jade Emperor immediately shouted: "I understand. This is to assume a wrong beginning from the beginning, and then no matter how hard you try, you can only follow the ideas of the person who assumed this beginning, because you got the wrong foundation from the beginning. "

I smiled and nodded: "The Jade Emperor is wise. If someone assumes that such a thing as spiritual energy does not exist, you will certainly not succeed in studying magic power on this basis. The same is true for Buddhism. Why are so many people trapped in it? In fact, he is also Assumption basis. Buddhism first assumes that people can accumulate virtue by suffering after birth, and then be reincarnated in the next life to enjoy blessings. This draws everyone into his embrace. In fact, Buddhism has nothing to do with reincarnation. The dead are all under the control of your Ten Palaces of Yama. , they have no right to 'meddle' at all. But everyone fell into a misunderstanding as soon as they came up, so they were always deceived. The agreement you signed with the Buddha Sect is the same this time. You think that exchanging talents with each other will definitely lead to the best results. Good things are exchanged for each other, but they took advantage of this loophole and sent you two living bookshelves, and you suffered a huge loss as a result."

The Jade Emperor said sadly: "In fact, we later secretly contacted Sun Wukong and Fairy Zizhu. Both of them have always wanted to return to the Immortal Sect."

I looked at the Jade Emperor in confusion: "Do they want to come back? Can't the power of the Immortal Sect be used to protect them? They are returning. Can the Buddhist Sect still rob them?"

Taibai Jinxing shook his head on behalf of the Jade Emperor and said: "Sun Wukong has a diamond headband stuck on his head, and Fairy Zizhu has a jade ring on her waist. As long as Guanyin's spell is together, the two of them will have to live and die in pain, and they still have to be obedient when they run back. Go back, or you will die of pain."

"I don't know about Fairy Zizhu. Wasn't the hoop of Sun Wukong removed when he became a Buddha?"

"Take it away?" Taibai said with a mocking smile: "If you really take it away, there will be no fight against the Buddha! In fact, Sun Wukong has always missed his mentor. And the legendary Tang Monk was just a jailer who learned a tightening spell. Specially responsible for guarding Sun Wukong to prevent him from escaping. Buddhism has always flaunted compassion, and kept talking about it all day long: If I don’t go to hell, who will go to hell. In the end? Everyone went to hell. Didn’t Tathagata sit in the Paradise and enjoy his blessings? Who would have seen it? Did he go to hell? Those stories you circulate in the world are all Buddhist propaganda strategies. Guanyin is actually the image ambassador of the Buddha Sect's public relations department, responsible for publicity."

A strange-looking guy with a sinister face and wearing an official uniform similar to an emperor's robe also complained: "That Guanyin is the most insidious. He actually made up a child-giving Guanyin and said that it specializes in curing infertility. He deceived a large number of mortals and ran to burn incense. Worship Buddha, what does it matter to her whether she has children or not? The souls of the dead are all held in the hands of Yama, the Tenth Palace. If we don’t send the reincarnated ghosts into the bodies of those women, how can we give birth to children? She thinks she is Nuwa Your Majesty, can you create a human being at will?"

An immortal official with dragon horns also stood up. He looked like he must be the Dragon King. He also complained angrily: "That's right. Those Buddhist sects are doing things all day long to save all sentient beings and help people pray for rain. I have eight thousand rain soldiers from the Dragon Clan, and there are four gods of thunder, lightning, wind and rain in the heaven. It's raining." What's going on with their Buddhist sect? Who can make rain, Guanyin or Tathagata? Every time, they first get information about where it's going to rain from us. Then they go to that place and say they're praying for rain for the people. It's just cheating. Even the monsters can't match their ability to make rain. There are quite a few monsters who know how to make rain."

When the King of Hell and the Dragon King said this, the other gods immediately launched a denouncement meeting against the Buddhist sect, and all kinds of messy things came out. Anyway, to sum it up, it means the same thing - the Buddhist sect is cheating under the guise of heaven.

I quickly opened my mouth to interrupt the criticism meeting of the gods. If you continue to say this, you will enter the scolding stage. "Actually, I think Heavenly Court is not inferior to Buddhism in terms of power. The key problem is that benevolence and virtue are not enough."

The Jade Emperor was startled. "What? Not virtuous enough? We are holding our noses and swallowing coptis, what else can we do?"

I smiled and said, "We should learn more from Buddhism. They put all their benevolence on face. But you put all your benevolence on face. So you are not as benevolent as them."

"Then what exactly should we do?"

"The problems in Heaven are long-term and backlogged, and the gentle policy is no longer enough. I think it's better to cut through the mess quickly and do it with absolute certainty."

Taibai Jinxing asked carefully: "What do you mean?"

"Heaven's military force, number of personnel, material reserves, and sphere of influence are all superior to those of the Buddha Sect. How many people do you have in the Buddha Sect? How many people are there in Heaven? Look at the mortal world. Now the mortal world is They think that Buddhism and Immortal Sect belong to the category of Buddhism, and everyone thinks that Tathagata is the boss of this Buddhism, and you are just out to play a role. You can no longer be slow and slow when you get to this point. Once Buddhism feels that it has power, It’s almost expanded. When they start to squeeze you out, you won’t be able to fight back.”

"Then how are we going to solve it?"

"Didn't the immortals just report that the Buddha Sect was pretending to be a heavenly force to grab credit? Then we will simply smash their brand."

"Smashing the sign?"

"Didn't Guanyin claim that she could make those mortal women pregnant and give birth to children? Send some people to keep a close eye on all the Guanyin temples that send children, and record all the people who go there to ask for children. These are The person who records it will be let go of it forever."

The King of Hell was startled when he heard this: "Isn't it too poisonous?"

"Are you trying to be a little bit more toxic or are you going to be replaced?"

"Then I'd better be more poisonous!" The King of Hell quickly sat down and stopped talking.

I immediately said to the Dragon King again: "Didn't you say that Buddhist disciples always find out your rain information first and then go to those places to pretend to pray for rain?"

"Yes!" The Dragon King complained: "Every time I get a rain order from heaven, they arrive first and pretend to beg for rain. In fact, it is not the rain they beg for. We are just following the rules. What I am doing now No one worships at the Dragon King Temple, and the incense is almost gone. We, the Dragon King of the Four Seas, have been resting on our laurels during this period. It is really miserable!"

I nodded: "This is easy to handle. The Jade Emperor will still issue rain orders in the future, but he must give the Dragon King a certain amount of free space. The Dragon King is allowed to change his mind temporarily according to the situation. If the Dragon King arrives at the rain spot and finds that the Buddha is impersonating you to perform a prayer for rain again, You should immediately go somewhere else to make it rain, or simply go home. Anyway, you should stop it from raining wherever they ask for it. If you do this a few more times, mortals will no longer believe what they say."

The Dragon King nodded immediately after hearing this, and the Jade Emperor also agreed with the plan.

I pointed at the God of Plague and the God of Failure and said, "Didn't the Buddhist sect say that if you believe in them and burn incense all day long, you can avoid disasters and eliminate diseases? You two go out for a walk if you have nothing to do. If you see anyone praying to Buddha to eliminate diseases, you just Stay at his house for one night. Don't kill people, just keep breathing. This will be a better publicity effect. If anyone wants to pray to Buddha to ward off misfortune, let him be so bad that he wants to commit suicide. If he wants to pray to Buddha to cure illness, let him be so sick that he can't even sleep in bed. I can’t even get down. By the way, didn’t the fairies from the Dao Immortal Sect just say that the Buddha Sect likes to make merit incense?”

A beautiful fairy stood up and said: "Yes. The Buddhist sect requires believers to contribute money to help them build temples, and sometimes the money is used to build roads. Although building roads is a good thing, it is not all the money of the believers, and The roads are not built by the Buddhist sect themselves. For those who pay for them, they will give them a stick of incense, saying it is a public incense. After they go home and burn it, they can put the ashes in water and drink it to cure diseases."

"Can these incense really cure diseases?"

"How is that possible?" the fairy said angrily: "If you eat some incense ash to cure your disease, what do you need a doctor for? But those incense are indeed blessed with a weak magic power, and eating them can refresh you. Mortals don't know it and just think it's true. It worked."

"Okay. From now on, you fairies who are rescuing the injured will not only continue your work, but also keep an eye on those who have taken the public virtue incense, go back and concentrate on sending the news to the King of Hell." I said to the King of Hell again: "If you After receiving the list given to you by the fairy, let Black and White Wuchang go to these houses one by one in the evening and call them names one by one. I will see who dares to eat it when the public moral incense becomes the soul-breaking incense."

The Jade Emperor clapped his hands and said: "It's indeed amazing, but if this goes on for a long time, there will be trouble, right?"

"I said, this is a matter of cutting through the mess with a sharp knife. The Buddha Sect is too closely integrated with you, and many things are no longer clear. They are like poison, they have penetrated into your arms, and now The only way to get rid of it is to cut off your own arms. In a short period of time, you will definitely hurt others and yourself, but it will be fine after this stage. In the future, you must step up your propaganda. Learn from Buddhism and send more low-level personnel Go out for a run. If you don't have contact with mortals all day long, of course people won't know your merits. If it rains in the future, you should also send some Taoist priests to do it before it rains again. If someone does good deeds and accumulates virtue, don't be like him Now give him some benefit and run away. If you want to show up as a spirit in the sky to let people see your arrival, it is best to say a few words to encourage people to do more good deeds and accumulate merit in the future, so that mortals will know that it is actually heaven that is managing their luck. No. The Buddha Sect is taking care of them. By the way, there is also the King of Hell. Your side is the focus. What mortals fear most is death. When you seduce people, don't you have to read out all the good and bad things this person has done in his life? You might as well do it in the future. Just tell it in the human world. Leave your ghost body behind and let them see you seducing people and explaining morality and bad deeds. Especially tell those who worship Buddha that doing good deeds is considered morality and believing in Buddhism is not. See who will believe in them in the future. .”

Erlang Shen said from the side: "Wouldn't this lead to a fight?"

"If we don't fight, what if you plan to form an alliance with them?"

"What a good plan." The Jade Emperor smiled and said to Taibai, "Write all these down and follow this approach in the future."

"Already noted it down."

The Jade Emperor immediately said to me again: "It seems that you are indeed of great use to the Heavenly Court. This time you have offended the Buddha Sect, and you are considered to have gone out to the Heavenly Court. Don't worry, I will send someone to protect you."

"No, no, no." I'm a double agent, and I'm surrounded by the bodyguards of Tianting, so how can I get around in the future? "Actually, if the Jade Emperor is really interested, he can just help me take care of my city. I personally am not afraid of them at all. The souls of adventurers cannot be imprisoned, and the Buddha Sect cannot do anything to me."

"Don't worry. Your city will be protected by Heaven. The Buddha Sect doesn't dare to do anything to you."

I thanked the Jade Emperor first and then said: "The Jade Emperor just said that Sun Wukong and Fairy Zizhu want to return to the Immortal Sect. I wonder if you have been in contact recently?"

"Of course there is a connection. Why do you ask?"

"If it's convenient, you can ask them to come to me, or tell me a time and place to meet them. The Immortal and Buddha families have a lot of great skills, but I also have a lot of heresy. The diamond headband on Sun Wukong's head and Fairy Zizhu's jade ring cannot be opened with your correct method, maybe my crooked idea will work instead."

Upon hearing this, the Jade Emperor immediately asked excitedly: "Can you really open those two things? As long as you can help them return to the Immortal Sect, I can give you 10 ancient beasts to help you guard your home, and fight on the battlefield with you. .”

"That's not accurate. I don't know if I don't try. But since the Jade Emperor has offered such good conditions, I will definitely work hard. If it really succeeds, we will be mutually beneficial!"

After chatting with the Jade Emperor about some insignificant things, I was sent back to Essinger, and this peculiar landscape painting was also left in Essinger. This painting is not a space passage. There is no direct way to heaven from here, and people in heaven cannot reach here. What I just saw with Erlangshen was actually an illusion. The space in this painting is somewhat similar to a holographic projection. It can be used for remote meetings, but it cannot be used as a channel. The Jade Emperor said that he would arrange for people to work in this space day and night in the future. If anything happens, I only need to send people into the illusion space of this painting to notify the heaven.

Regarding the matter of Sun Wukong and Zizhu Fairy, the final plan given by the Jade Emperor was to let me find them myself. It wasn't that the Jade Emperor didn't want to pull the strings, but that they were so obsessed with the Buddha that they couldn't pull the strings. Unless I go to their cave to find them myself, there is no way they can meet me anyway. However, the Jade Emperor gave two detailed maps, so it is easy to go there.

After Erlangshen left Isengard, I quickly went to the demons' lair. In the past two days, I was busy running around the demon lair in heaven. It sounds like I am a middleman among the four major forces, but in fact I am just an errand boy.

When Shuixu and the others saw me, their first reaction was to grab me and ask if it was successful. I had no choice but to shake my head. Shuixu asked nervously: "Has Heaven already transformed the magic power?"

"no."

"Didn't you steal it?" Yinyao asked.

"No."

Qiong Lin asked: "What happened?"

"Please, don't be so impatient, okay? You have seen big scenes before, and you should know some things. Heaven is not a vegetable market, can you just walk around? This time Heaven has sent many gods to come Pick me up and escort me all the way to the Jade Emperor. When I come back, the team has doubled again. How do you think I can steal it?"

"Then did you see the magic?"

I said with some uncertainty: "It's very strange. I actually saw three purple lights in the heaven."

Qiong Lin looked at Shuixu and said, "Three groups? Could it be that the mana has been divided?"

Shuixu shook his head: "I didn't see it. If you ask me, who should I ask?"

Qiong Lin immediately turned to me: "Can you determine the type of evil spirit?"

I shook my head: "The three groups of purple energy are different in size. The closest one is in Dou Shui Palace. The other two groups are in Tiantai Pavilion and the other one is far away. You can see a little shadow in the light. ."

Yin Yao said: "The one in Dou Shui Palace is more likely to be a place dedicated to alchemy. The one that is particularly far away, I guess, may be Chang'e's Jade Rabbit."

"Huh? The Jade Rabbit is also a monster?"

"Although the Jade Rabbit is Chang'e's pet, it is actually an authentic monster. However, Chang'e's identity is quite special, and heaven has always turned a blind eye to her. Among the three groups of monsters, the one in Tiantai Pavilion may also be 'sexual', but you If you have a chance to steal it, you’d better go to Dou Shu Palace first.”