Chapter 402

Wait for Xiaoshi to finish writing the answer to the first question carefully on the paper.

Ning Youguang then asked a few more questions——

"Second, what negative emotions did I harbor—hatred, trauma, anger, regret, or something else?

Third, is there anyone I can never forgive?

Fourth, I have to forgive these people, I have to forgive myself, what do I need to do? "

After Xiaoshi seriously answered one by one, new questions arose.

"Mr. Ning, I don't think I know myself very well. I don't know what all my dark sides are."

Ning Youguang said, "It doesn't matter, you can write as many as you can. If you really can't write, after you go back, you can ask your family, friends and classmates around you, and learn to use their strength to see yourself clearly."

"I'm sorry." Xiaoshi instinctively wanted to escape.

This time, she mustered up the courage to come to Teacher Ning for psychological counseling. It was a decision she had considered for a long time. Facing people who were closer to her, she really had no way to ask these questions.

"Accepting and tolerant of the true self is the first step to help yourself out of the pain of life, so that you don't have to deceive yourself or the whole world." Ning Youguang said, "If you don't even have the courage to face your own dark side, So how do you talk about acceptance?"

Then, she continued to ask Xiaoshi, "How many times do you want to hurt and distort yourself, to cater to others, to be an excellent person, dare not face yourself, and live out the hypocritical life you chose?

You rationalize your behavior as a 'good person' so you choose to hide and cheat?

Is a person who twists and hurts himself a good person?

Do your parents want them to live like you do?

How many times have you been justified and willing to swallow humility?

How many talents do you dare not display, for fear that your brilliance will shine into the darkness of others?

How many friends do you have who can help you see you and support you in being yourself?

Or do they just need you to live in their world hypocritically to satisfy their vanity?

How much willfulness and domineering do you have to build yourself right, to be the best, to be better than others, to attack, control, and blame others?

You strengthen your own weakness through the tolerance of others, their love and intolerance for you.

Do you really love your parents and yourself?

There is no one else but yourself, do you understand that all your attacks are attacks on yourself?

You choose to cheat, avoid growing up, and sacrifice the happiness of yourself and your family. Are you sure this is what you want? "

"I don't need, I don't need any of these." Xiaoshi shook her head frantically, and shouted loudly, "I need to accept myself, like myself, like my parents, my home... I need to live as transparently as possible state, without concealment, without pretense, I want to live frankly."

Ning Youguang continued to help Xiaoshi clean up, "Transparency means truth, truth means opening your heart, returning to the basics, returning to the complete, original self, you don't need to pretend, then let all the limitations that prevent you from leading to happiness Faith, multiplied by God knows more, is destroyed and never recreated!"

She said this passage sonorously and forcefully, and Xiaoshi trembled as if she had been electrocuted after hearing it.

After the trembling, she seemed to have exhausted all her strength, and she leaned on the chair and could no longer speak.

Ning Youguang observed her quietly until he heard the sound of shallow and steady breathing, then he walked to the cabinet lightly, took out a scarf from it and covered Xiaoshi who was already asleep.

When Xiaoshi woke up again, it was already half an hour later.

"Ms. Ning." Her voice was hoarse, she stared blankly at Ning Youguang who had been quietly by her side all the time, "I fell asleep?"

Ning Youguang smiled softly, "Yes, how do you feel?"

Xiaoshi sat up straight slowly, and at the same time grabbed the Hermès cashmere scarf covering her body, "I feel very warm all over."

Then, she tried to take a deep breath, and was pleasantly surprised to find——

"My chest is not so congested anymore. Before, I always felt that I couldn't breathe properly. It was like a stone was pressed on my heart. Now I feel that this stone is gone."

"Very good." Ning Youguang smiled.

"Thank you, Teacher Ning." Xiao Shi said in a nasty voice.

"You're welcome." Ning Youguang said, "Today is just the beginning. After you go back, I will hypnotize and implant the belief in your subconscious mind, which will continue to help you clear up the trauma in your heart. These days, you need to observe the changes in yourself carefully. .”

Although Xiaoshi doesn't know how much she has changed after today, she knows that the more she asks Teacher Ning for help, the more she can gain.

So she asked again, "Mr. Ning, do you need me to do anything else?"

Ning Youguang smiled and handed her some papers again, "Please make a list of the names of the people you need to forgive, and write a short message to each person. If the list is very long, you can write a few more. Write again next time, these letters don’t need to be sent.”

Because time was limited, she asked Xiaoshi to go back to do this.

Then, she handed Xiaoshi a piece of paper again, and said to her, "Now please write down what I said carefully on the paper."

"I'm a lovely, beautiful, caring person.

The world is my friend and lover and will always provide what I need.

Wherever I go, there are people who love me and like me.

I am very intelligent and capable.

make my dream come ture.

..."

Write down the poem seriously——

"What you are writing now is a belief that can inspire you." Ning Youguang said, "it takes time to form a new habit, so when you rebuild your thinking mode, you have to read what you are writing now every day. Once again, read it in the morning if you have the conditions, or read it before going to bed at night, and you can also stick the belief notes in your car, your mobile phone, or your bag, and deepen your links with them anytime, anywhere. They help your life The effect will become greater."

Xiaoshi nodded obediently, and carefully put the paper into the bag.

"Mr. Ning, I will try my best to do what you told me... What if I still fail in the end?"

"All groundbreaking activities follow a truth. When you put your heart into something, you can change your destiny. The world will open for you. Courage brings talent, ability and magical adventure. .”

"What if I want to give up halfway?"

"Then tell yourself 'no, your task has not been completed, you have not completely got rid of the influence of the shadow.', if you still want to escape, you need to keep asking yourself 'my responsibility in this matter What?', 'Why would I let this happen to me?'”

Looking at Xiaoshi's hesitation.

Ning Youguang added, "Since you are willing to walk into my office, you must come with an urgent desire to change yourself. When people make up their minds to do something, they will definitely overcome inertia and resistance. Yes, because the power of determination is stronger than the power of pursuing self-deception, self-narcotics."

Xiaoshi cheered herself up, "I will work hard."

Ning Youguang smiled and said, "You can also use some methods to help yourself strengthen your faith."

"In what way?" Xiaoshi asked.

"What do you think nourishes your soul the most?" Ning Youguang asked back.

"Flowers, aromatherapy, traveling, going to a restaurant with a good environment..." Xiaoshi carefully listed a few items.

Ning Youguang said, "After you go back, you can often carefully prepare a sumptuous meal for yourself, and light a scented candle for yourself when you get home from get off work at night. If you like flowers, buy them for yourself. Just play some soothing music for yourself. Or, dress up and watch a long-awaited movie, go to a restaurant with a beautiful environment that you have been paying attention to for a long time, and have an afternoon tea or brunch.”

"Yeah." A smile appeared on Xiaoshi's face, "I feel very happy when I think about it."

Ning Youguang also smiled, "Many times, when you carefully observe those people around you who seem to be high-frequency and high-energy, they are not always so high-energy, they just nourish their souls better than ordinary people. "

Xiaoshi thought for a while and said, "You mean, I should learn to nourish my soul in my daily life, right?"

Ning Youguang nodded, "Yes, for example, if you make yourself feel better in the morning, your mood will improve throughout the day. Treat yourself like a precious guest, and you will become more dignified. How do you treat yourself? , the world will treat you the same way; if you care about yourself, respect yourself, and affirm yourself, others will treat you the same way you treat yourself. If you need love and recognition from others, you must know how to love yourself and affirm yourself first .”

Xiaoshi thought about it.

After a while, she asked back, "Mr. Ning, is it because I don't know how to love myself, so I haven't met anyone who loves me very much since I was a child?"

Ning Youguang said, "This is precisely because of the natural defense mechanism of our minds. Once we deliberately suppress a certain trait, it will attract those who are more likely to show this trait, so that we can see our strength from them. Self-reflection. From a psychological point of view, if a person wants to be loved by others, he must first establish self-love. If he only disguises his appearance but does not pay attention to his heart, then the opposite sex he attracts will also be People who are used to pretending."

"How should I identify this projected image, and how can I get rid of this vicious circle?" Xiaoshi thinks this is a problem that has troubled her for a long time, "I want to obtain a healthy intimacy."

"The phenomenon of projection on the level of the ego is very recognizable. If we just 'feel' the presence of someone or something, then it usually does not bring us a projection. If we are influenced by someone or something, then It is likely to carry our projections. The shortcomings of others in our eyes are almost the projections of our own shortcomings in our hearts." Ning Youguang said, "As long as we admit and accept certain negative traits in our hearts, the shortcomings shown by others This quality does not affect us, and only then can we be genuine with others."

"You mean that all the qualities we can see in others exist in ourselves." Xiao Shi said, "I usually like to find fault with others, but it's actually because I like to find fault with myself?"

"Yes." Ning Youguang said with a smile, "Comparing your heart to your heart, treat yourself like you do to others. When you can forgive and accept yourself, you will naturally be able to forgive and accept others. If you are willing to open your heart If you are willing to truly look at yourself and accept yourself, you will fall in love with yourself, and you will become calm and calm, and you can also share your love with others. Once this virtuous circle process starts, your changes will not only Just in your own life, and you'll soon find that the way you relate to others changes as well."

An uncontrollable smile appeared on Xiaoshi's face, "So, if I want a healthy intimate relationship, I need to guide my behavior, neither depressing myself nor denying myself deliberately, so that I can turn my shortcomings into advantages ,is not it?"

"Yes." Ning Youguang praised Xiaoshi, "You understand very well."

"Ah, I see." Xiaoshi said pleasantly, "Just like what you said in the book 'Admitting and accepting an imperfect self is a very important thing for a person to have a complete life. "

“We must forgive ourselves for our imperfections, because imperfections are part of our nature. When we gain a new understanding of the relationship between our inner world and the world around us, we can use this understanding to guide our lives. Re- Discover those qualities that we can hide." Ning Youguang is very happy that Xiaoshi can understand her meaning well, "Once we burst the soap bubbles in our brains that are made of false ideas, we can recognize the true appearance of our inner world. , When you can face up to the dark side of your heart and all your shortcomings, you will realize the positive meaning of these 'shortcomings', and your life will undergo earth-shaking changes."

The more Xiaoshi listened, the more excited she became, "I must learn to admit myself, accept myself, and be my friend, no matter how long the process takes!"

In short, she couldn't wait to see her transformed future.

The time of heart-to-heart communication always passes very quickly.

On this day, after Xiaoshi came to UCAS in the morning, she reluctantly bid farewell to Ning Youguang until the sun went down.

noon.

Ning Youguang took her to have a light meal at "Xiao Sixi" in the snack street outside the campus of UCAS.

"Mr. Ning, thank you for your enlightenment and help today."

Standing at the door of Ning Youguang's office, Xiaoshi embraced Ning Youguang for the third time.

"You're welcome." Ning Youguang smiled softly, "The most important thing is to thank Xiao Shi for being brave and willing to face and change herself."

Xiaoshi was amused by her words, "Thank you for being brave, Xiaoshi."

When she said this, she still couldn't help feeling shy in her heart, but it was undeniable that she was happy.

Her heart told her—"She likes to be loved by herself."

Ning Youguang thoughtfully sent Xiaoshi downstairs.

"I know that after you go back, you will inevitably have a period of discomfort from the truly changed life you want, but if you persevere, you will definitely succeed. I have helped countless clients like you."

Her warm eyes fell on Xiaoshi's face, "No matter how difficult this process is, I will always be by your side."

Xiaoshi's eyes were red again, "I'm so lucky to have met Teacher Ning."

Ning Youguang smiled softly, and patiently told him.

"When you get home, every day remember to stand in front of the mirror and tell your self in the mirror, 'I am... I am...', repeating each positive trait enough times until you no longer feel Emotional fluctuations."

On this day, at eight o'clock in the evening, Weibo.

[An ordinary person: "Need Gua", the fifth hexagram of "Book of Changes", said: "Youfu, Guangheng, Zhenji." It means, "Only when we have enough courage to face the objective truth, we will Only when you deceive yourself and are not swayed by illusions can you recognize the direction ahead, do things smoothly, and get good results.”——This is also the true meaning of exploring the shadow of the soul. ]

[An ordinary person: If we don’t judge ourselves and others, we can naturally usher in peace of mind. Good luck! x-on:72家室室大院: May I ask the teacher, in this impetuous era, how can we usher in the peace of mind? ]

...

this day.

Ming Jinxin asked Ning Youguang to come to his house for dinner.

As soon as she got out of the elevator and before she reached the door of Ning's house, she heard the lyrical sound of the cello slowly flowing from inside the Ning's house - a beautiful and gentle melody, "Swan".

Soon, she pressed the doorbell, and the door was opened by workers from inside the house.

At a glance, she saw that Ning Youyu was wearing a pressed white shirt, black overalls, and a pair of brand new black calfskin shoes, sitting on the dining chair and playing the cello like an elegant little prince.

The sense of ceremony is perfect.

Seeing this scene, she wasn't in a hurry to enter the house anymore, she leaned lazily by the door and picked up her phone to take pictures.

Ning Youyu in the room looked up at her, with a bright smile on his white and tender face.

The movement of playing the violin in his hand is not wrong.

Ming Jinxin was wearing a soft outfit and sat on the sofa drinking tea.

"It's a good morning, if you say it's raining, it will rain." Seeing Ning Youguang approaching, she had a bright smile on her face, "You didn't get drenched, did you?"

"No." Ning Youguang said with a smile, "I drove here, but the road was a bit trafficked."

"Traffic jams are annoying enough." Ming Jinxin said, "Come inside, it's cold outside."

Ning Youguang entered the door, handed the bag in his hand to the worker, took off his overcoat, bent down to take off his black boots, and put on brand new fluffy lotus root pink slippers.

"It's a new one, doesn't it look good?" Ming Jinxin asked with a smile when she saw her gaze on her feet.

"It looks good." Ning Youguang felt that the slippers were quite comfortable to wear, "Very comfortable."

"Shall I buy you two more pairs?" Ming Jinxin said.

"No need." Ning Youguang quickly shook his head, "Take up space."

"Putting it in Wusheng's study room, it's comfortable to wear when you go." Ming Jin replied heartily. 1314

Today's explosion is 20,000, thank you little angels for your support~

I wish the angels of the college entrance examination to perform exceptionally~