Four Hundred and Twenty-Four Adverse Effects

Gradually, the strength returned to the body, the cold limbs felt the temperature again, the thorn-like touch was like a tidal wave, but it finally warmed up gradually; but the stomach was cold and cold, as if throwing a few Like a hockey puck going in, it keeps falling heavily.

Reluctantly stood up with support, but found that his legs and knees were shaking slightly, and the whole person showed a state of disengagement. He opened the door of the compartment, staggered to the sink, and then he could see The person in the mirror, who was sweating profusely, with messy hair and a pale face, seemed to have just walked out of hell, and the corner of his mouth could not help but outline a wry smile of mockery.

Even when he was filming "Buried Alive," even when he was in the coffin for eight hours, even when he was physically confronting Vin Diesel, he was never so embarrassed. But today, he is a complete mess, feeling that all the defense lines of the whole person have been completely defeated.

But, that's not unusual, is it?

Because all this is really too real, for him, this is not a movie, this is life.

He understands the kind of depression that sinks slowly but cannot call for help, he understands the dilemma of wanting to survive but helpless, he understands the numbness that death is approaching but indifferent, he is Chu Jiashu, and he is also Adam. There is no need to spend any effort at all, and it is easy to be trapped in that chaotic space again, ups and downs.

The eyes in the mirror were broken, listless, lifeless, so ugly that people couldn't look directly at them. He couldn't help raising his right hand and swiped across the mirror, trying to delete the image, but only a row of fingers was left. The watermark made the projection blurred, and the face changed into six or seven broken pictures, like the moon in the mirror.

I turned on the faucet, splashed cold water on my cheeks, washed the sweat completely, rubbed my cheeks vigorously, trying to wake myself up, but then I realized that he was very awake, always awake, because those memories were too real, It never seemed that a single moment was false.

The hand was full of ice cold, the temperature of the skin still did not recover, and it was almost impossible to feel the existence of blood vessels; it was almost the touch of a vampire, and the desolation and wildness of the undead body came.

Looking at the trembling hands, Renly suddenly understood. All that was just a side effect of chemotherapy.

But... chemotherapy side effects? How ridiculous.

One, he didn't have cancer; two, he didn't have chemotherapy; and three, his body wasn't even that big of a problem. But he is suffering from the side effects of chemotherapy? This is simply absurd! Ridiculous! Nonsense!

The smile at the corner of his mouth couldn't help but tug at himself, mocking himself, but halfway up, looking at himself in the mirror, he suddenly stopped: It's not impossible.

Just like a pregnant couple. When the wife is pregnant, in order to show consideration and care, the husband begins to adjust his living habits to the same pattern as his wife, such as getting up and resting, fitness methods, and even eating habits.

Under certain specific psychological resonance conditions, the husband may also experience "pregnancy" symptoms, including general conditions such as morning sickness, nausea, and even conscious fetal movement and abdominal distention, completely simulating the wife's pregnancy.

This phenomenon has been medically confirmed, and there have been many cases in real life.

Everything is so real and so close that the body senses the psychological cues and begins to respond accordingly, completely blurring the boundaries between reality and hypotheses, allowing the hypothetical situation to evolve into reality. So, is he like this now?

He really felt the erosion of cancer, he really felt the invasion of chemotherapy, all of this was like the last life, the slowly sinking suffocation, like the right hand of death, grasping neck,

Slowly close, then kill all hope of life.

So, is he really crazy now? Illusion and reality have been completely integrated, just like in "Truman's World", the illusion on TV has become the reality of his own life.

He exists, but he does not exist. He is a real person fabricated by human beings. He has flesh and blood, personality and edges and corners. But everything he has is in the hands of "God". So, can he walk out of this absurd reality show like Truman?

He raised his head again and looked at himself in the mirror. There were drops of water hanging on his cheeks. He still couldn't see much blood in the paleness, and all the brilliance was lost in those quiet eyes. He pulled the corners of his mouth, revealing a big smile, but there was no movement in his eyes, and the unfathomable light could not reflect the vitality of life.

He knew that in the depths of the bottom of his eyes, in the bottomless abyss of his eyes, there was a pair of invisible giant hands that were dragging his legs to sink, gradually moving away from the water, and his vitality was glowing little by little. Dissipated in the pitch-black lake water until it disappeared completely.

This is the tumor talking.

He told himself that this wasn't what he really thought, it wasn't his real condition, it was all just talking about the tumor, the tumor called Adam.

It's all real, he's Renly and he's filming a movie called "The Cancer-fighting Me"; he used to be Chu Jiashu, who was paralyzed in a hospital bed/for ten years; he played Adam , suffering from cancer and undergoing chemotherapy; his realistic prototype is Will, the screenwriter of the film, who successfully got rid of the entanglement of cancer.

This is all true. His thoughts were very clear.

However, the boundary between reality and fantasy could not be found. He was not sure if this was on the set of "I'm Fighting Cancer". He remembered a scene in which Adam went to the bathroom to vomit; he was not sure if this was a return In the memory of the last life, he remembered the cold and biting feeling when he was dying, not from the body, but from the soul; he was not sure if this was his own real situation. His body became weak.

He tries to find his true self in the mirror. But I can't tell which one is my true self. Renly? Adam? Chu Jiashu? Which "self" should he look for in order to regain a firm foothold in the track of real life?

This is not normal. It was as abnormal as if he had just experienced chemotherapy side effects. So, it must be the tumor talking. When the tumor speaks, it's like a Harry Potter story, where the trees talk and the hats talk. It's all fiction, but it's all real.

It must be so. He was calm, not flustered at all. There is absolutely no gossip during the "Buried Alive" period, and even the dream and the studio can't be distinguished clearly. Now he is very awake, and he needs to continue to stay awake.

Opening his eyes again, looking at the familiar face in the mirror, he said, "It's the afternoon of February 20, 2011, and I'm in Seattle, filming 'Me Against Cancer,' and I'm an actor. , I'm filming, it's all filming."

After speaking, he paused for a moment, repeated all the words again, then paused again, and looked at himself in the mirror seriously, the sentence "I am Renly" was spinning on the tip of his tongue, no matter what. He couldn't even tell. In the end, he simply gave up, took out two pieces of paper, wiped off all the water droplets on his cheeks, and let out a long sigh, and the whole person finally recovered a little.

He took another step, left the bathroom, and saw Seth and Will standing at the door.

Both of them had a deep worry on their faces, and the nervous expressions were not concealed at all. They wanted to say a few words of authority, but they didn't know where to enter. The result could only be stunned in place. It looked like a friend had just told them that he had cancer, and he didn't know what to do except for the "sorry" expression on his face.

Renly thought this was really interesting, and the smile on the corners of his mouth rose involuntarily, "You guys go over first, I'll sit next to you and rest for a while, and then I'll follow." Now I still can't feel much strength in my limbs, the whole person is There was a sense of loss of strength, and he needed to catch his breath.

"Are you okay?" Seth still couldn't hold back, and asked cautiously, as if Renly were a fragile porcelain doll.

Will, who was standing next to him, also had a heavy face, but he did not speak, but looked at Renly with a firm gaze, and the faint light revealed a hint of firmness and hope. The power of that belief awakened Renly's resonance, and there was a tacit understanding that people of the same kind understood.

"I'm fine." Renly nodded to Seth with a smile. "I just had an upset stomach, and I took care of it a little bit. Now, all I need is to sit down and rest for a while, alone." Stress made a request, and Renly took the initiative to emphasize the matter of being "alone", "I'm serious, you guys hurry up and go."

Looking at the two big guys who didn't want to move, Renly couldn't help but smile, "This is the hospital, the medical staff are coming and going all the time, this should be the last place you need to worry about me. Don't worry, I didn't plan to. A plan to risk your own life."

Seth had a weird feeling that one moment he thought it was Renly speaking; the next moment he thought it was Adam speaking. That vague feeling made it hard to tell whether it was reality or a movie—he had the most confrontation with Adam in the movie, and he always felt that the scene just now seemed to have actually happened in the script.

Seth scratched his head, hesitated for a moment, and then cast an inquiring look at Will. After the two nodded, they reluctantly took a step forward. But in the end, it was inevitable that he was worried, and he looked back, only to see that Renly walked to the bench next to him, sat down, and relaxed.

Seth was a little relieved now, and Will dragged his arm and whispered, "Come on, he'll be fine."