Chapter 1263 1263 Precise Control

"I love you, mother; I love you, mother..."

Matthew's voice was trembling, he buried his head deeply in his hands, and his tears burst, but he suppressed his grief and remorse and tried to comfort his mother, who was already crying on the other end of the phone. , but he couldn't control his voice. He was like a sycamore leaf floating in the autumn rain. He tried his best to grab the trunk, but he couldn't help it. A dead leaf on the ground.

There are so many things I want to say, but I can't seem to remember a single one.

The phone finally hung up, and Matthew curled up together, biting his lips tightly to prevent the cry from overflowing, and then tried to breathe. The cold air was mixed with the desolation of the late night. into the lungs. Only then did Matthew feel his own breath of life again, breathing heavily.

But Matthew soon realized that he didn't have much time to enjoy such breathing, and he leaned wearily by the bar window, looking at the wall clock in the corridor outside. Twenty-two minutes, the last twenty-two minutes of his life, what does it feel like when a person knows exactly how long his life is left?

The temperature of Matthew's whole body subsided little by little, and even the blood began to become cold. He tried to take a deep breath, but found that the oxygen always seemed to be insufficient, and then the body began to become tired and everything slowed down. With the speed, the picture in my mind that I once thought was blurry gradually became clear, fragmented and disorganized, but it was extremely clear.

"I'll let time pass like this." Matthew sat in the same place, looking down at the cold handcuffs on his hands, there were still unwiped tears in his eyes, and his face was full of tiredness, "Tell Mom I love She, chatted with each of the younger brothers..." Matthew tried to recall the content of the call, but found that he didn't seem to say anything, and the phone hung up.

Matthew looked up, frowned and gave Sister Helen a somewhat hollow look, "I hate to say goodbye." But then his eyes turned back, as if he was just talking to himself, "I tell them if I can, I'd rather talk to them at the previous moment..." Matthew didn't change it in one breath, his face full of loneliness and struggle entangled in the corners of his mouth.

Although Sister Helen could only see Matthew's side face, not even Matthew's eyes, but at this time Matthew's whole body was full of confusion and entanglement, as if the dim lights in the prison were dimmed again.

"What's the matter, Matt? What's wrong?" Sister Helen said earnestly, her words as light as a cicada's wings but with infinite urgency and sincerity, because she knew that the time left for Matthew was running out. If Matthew is still unwilling to repent, there is no way for him to be redeemed.

Matthew didn't look up, just murmured, "My mom kept saying, 'It's all Vitello's fault.' She kept complaining about me getting on that guy." He insisted, but at this moment, Matthew's words were full of powerlessness. He shook his head gently, the arc was not large, but it revealed incomparable firmness, "I don't want her to have such thoughts."

Matthew raised his head and looked guiltily and timidly at Sister Helen's sincere eyes, which were full of sincerity and enthusiasm, but Matthew didn't dare to look directly, his eyes moved in a panic, "As you said , I could have left then." Matthew paused and said firmly, "But I didn't."

After this sentence was finished, it seemed to consume all of Matthew's energy. All the lies were exposed at this moment, he tried to deceive the whole world, but in the end he was just deceiving himself. He's been trying to escape the truth, he's been trying to excuse himself, but the inner voice is laughing at him: You're a liar.

At this moment, Matthew ripped open his scars and let the truth lay before him without any cover, which made Matthew feel at a loss. There were no onlookers, just himself. His own gaze was fixed on his naked self, his scorching gaze seemed to laugh at his embarrassment and panic, and also sympathized with his belated repentance.

"I'm asking for trouble," Matthew whispered to himself, then looked up at Sister Helen, his amber eyes full of pain and self-loathing, "I'm a coward." He picked up The dagger opened the wound that he had never shown before, and showed it in front of the nun Helen, and even more directly and cruelly in front of him.

It turned out that his life was a joke from the beginning to the end, no one forced him, all this was his own choice, just because of his cowardice, he pushed all the mistakes on others. This tragedy is his own brew.

This fact made Matthew's eyes full of pain and struggle, but a mocking smile appeared on the corner of his mouth. The fierce conflict made Sister Helen see all of it, and hot tears filled his eyes.

Sister Helen knew that she should not sympathize with Matthew, because Matthew was a murderer, but she couldn't control herself. When she saw the weak soul shivering in Matthew's eyes, she knew that Matthew was Xiu also needs to be rescued, and Matthew also needs to be rescued. If... if someone is willing to listen to Matthew, then will the tragedy not happen?

"He's more savage than me, I just...drinked a lot and tried to be majestic, but I still couldn't...I didn't have the guts to resist him." Matthew said softly, as if stating a simple fact, But the struggle in his eyes revealed that the wound in his heart was constantly pulling at the moment, "I told my mother that I was a coward."

Recalling her mother's cowardice and loneliness, Matthew's voice couldn't help but choked, "She kept saying 'It's not your fault, Matt, it's not your fault, Matt, it's not your fault...' Matthew's voice fell slowly, like a mother's sweet voice coaxing her child to sleep.

"Your mother loves you very much, Matt." Sister Helen was speaking almost in an air voice. She was afraid of breaking the silence of this moment, and also afraid of breaking the last line of defense in Matthew's heart. Her eyes were full of tears. , but never could bear to slip down.

But Matthew heard what Sister Helen said. He was silent for a while, and his emotions seemed to calm down. Then he said slowly, "That boy...Walter..."

Matthew raised his head and glanced at Sister Helen, the struggle and pain in his eyes were obvious, "Huh?" Sister Helen raised her tone slightly, "What's wrong?"

Matthew looked at Sister Helen so calmly, his amber eyes were clearer than ever before, without the violence, cunning, struggle and concealment before, and showed all emotions without omission: sadness and remorse deep in his heart There was a stormy sea, "I killed him."

Matthew admitted the truth in this way, he was honest with the truth for the first time. The tears in Sister Helen's eyes slid down like this, "And Hope?"

"No, I didn't, ma'am." Matthew shook his head slightly.

"Then you raped her?" Sister Helen's eyes showed an unprecedented divine light, guiding Matthew step by step to the end of self-redemption.

The boulder deep in Matthew's heart just slipped down, and that sense of relief hit him in an instant, and he was so clearly aware of what he had done, he had ruined the lives of two families, and he also Destroying his family's life with his own hands, tears welled up, making his voice choked, "Yes, ma'am."

Matthew had to purse his lips hard to keep himself from crying like a coward, but his red eyes had already revealed his inner fear, panic, and remorse.

"Are you willing to be responsible for their deaths?" Sister Helen did not wipe the hot tears on her cheeks, but looked at Matthew motionless, looking at all the emotions in Matthew's eyes, and slowly guided Matthew.

Those soulful and focused eyes completely overwhelmed Matthew's defenses. "Yes, ma'am." Then he began to cry, tears slowly falling down his eyes, and he whimpered, "After turning off the lights last night, I knelt down and prayed for them..." He burst out the words in a rush, squeezing all the air out of his lungs, because only then would he not be interrupted by his own cries, "I've never done that before. ."

Matthew sat there and let the tears fall, sobbing. Seeing Matthew like this, Sister Helen couldn't hold back her tears any longer as they poured out one by one, "Oh, Matt..." She had to close her eyes and take a deep breath before she could continue speaking. "Some hurts can only be healed by God. You did a terrible thing, Matt, a terrible thing..." Sister Helen said, trying not to let her tears disrupt the rhythm, resisting the pain in her heart. To, "But now you have regained your dignity, and no one can take it away." Sister Helen looked at Matthew's remorseful face like this, and before the words could finish, the tears fell again," Matthew - Poncelet, you are a child of God."

Sitting on the spot, Matthew clenched his teeth tightly, and the muscles in his face were tensed because the teeth were too hard, but he couldn't hold back after all, and the cry just overflowed from between his teeth little by little. When he came out, no matter how hard he tried, the tears still fell uncontrollably. "No one ever said I was a child of God," Matthew said with a choked breath, but there was a bright smile on the corner of his mouth, that smile. Proudly blooming in tears, "There are countless people who say I'm an asshole." Matthew didn't forget to tease himself, but the laughter only lasted for a moment, and then he was overwhelmed by self-blame, "I just... I just hope my death will bring some comfort to their parents..."

Matthew just sat there, weeping sadly like a child, his body trembling with fear, the cry that overflowed like a wounded little beast was mixed with pain, struggle, regret and despair, but because of him Gritting his teeth tightly, just pursing his lips, trivially echoed in the cold prison.