Chapter 1117: Fear of Not Being Able to Turn Back

She sniffed and found an old house in the suburbs. The house was very old and dangerous. No one lives here anymore. Most of them have moved away. If they haven't moved away, there are not many left. .

"Do you want to live here?" The landlord looked at Yan Huan for a long time, "Do you have five hundred yuan a month?"

It's not that she looked down on Yan Huan, but she looked down on him very much. If he was so angry at him, he couldn't be doing some shady business.

Yan Huan nodded, took out five hundred dollars from his body and handed it over.

She only lives here because there are few people, so she won't be discovered. Now, she simply doesn't want to be seen, and she doesn't want to be seen.

"There is still a deposit of 500 yuan to be paid." Seeing that the landlord was so happy to take the money, the lion opened his mouth again.

Yan Huan took out five hundred from his pocket. The landlord took it over and counted them one by one.

The landlord took a thousand dollars in total, but he still couldn't help but take another look at Yan Huan. He really felt that this woman was so strange. Even if it was cold in the winter, she wouldn't be wrapped up like this. However, she Then he touched the money in his pocket.

No matter what, the house was rented out anyway, and even if she wanted to ask her to refund the money, she would not refund it.

As long as the money is in her pocket, it will never be taken away. This is enough for the family to eat vegetables for a month, and it can also be used to eat a few more meat meals.

Yan Huan took the key given by the landlord. The house was really old. Anyone with a little ability would not live here. It was far away from the urban area and the surrounding transportation was not very developed. Living here would not even be possible. It is difficult to take any bus, and it takes half an hour to walk to find the bus stop. The house is old, and it is inconvenient to do anything.

Li Huan bought himself the best house, but it was also expensive.

It is a one-bedroom and one-living room. Fortunately, there is a small toilet inside, which is at the very end. There is ventilation on both sides. However, the house is empty, with almost no furniture. Except for a bed, it is somewhat empty. Poor, she didn't even have a basin. She came here empty-handed and didn't even bring any luggage. All her things were on her body, including four thousand yuan on her back. , No, there are only three thousand now. She is still in a mess now compared to when she was in Chenjiacun, and her life is still harder. At least, she could find a job then, but now she is like this, she has to find one She couldn't find any job. She was afraid that others would know that she was a reclusive person, and that she had that kind of disease, so she didn't dare to do anything, so she could only stay in such a shabby place. She also regarded herself as a turtle, and it was possible that she would stay in this shell all her life until the day she died.

She closed the door of the room again, shrank herself up in the cold wind, and then lowered her head, shamelessly facing others. She didn't dare to let others touch her now, and she didn't dare to touch others either, she was afraid It was other people's colored eyes, as well as their disgust and disgust towards her.

She is afraid of such eyes, and she is also afraid of such a life

She walked like this for about an hour before she found a store. She spent about a hundred yuan and bought some things, including a set of bedding, a washbasin, and some daily necessities. Then she hugged this store again. After walking back, the wind blew on her body from time to time, and some sweat would appear on her forehead due to the heat, but it didn't take long for it to be blown away by the cold wind.

The sweat continued to flow, but the air on one side continued to dry. At this time, she was holding a pile of things, and it seemed that there was still an endless road ahead, but she didn't know if she could still finish the walk.

It wasn't until she came back that she couldn't help but want to cry while taking a heavy breath.

She wiped her tears away with her sleeves. The cloth that was not too soft touched her skin. It seemed that she could feel the pain when the rough cloth rubbed against her skin, as if the cold wind outside was cutting her.

She opened the door again, and there was still the same thing inside. There was nothing but the old wooden bed. She carried her things in again, and at this time, she was as thin as a ghost. She was even thinner than when she was in Chenjiacun, and when she was in Cunjiacun, she didn't have drug addiction, nor did she suffer from such dirty diseases. No one dared to come into contact with such infectious diseases.

She worked hard to lay out the bedding and everything else, as well as a small pillow. This might be her home from now on, and it might be the small nest where she lives for a long time. It seems that life has returned to the past.

She has never been back to the Lu family. She is still the rural woman who came back from a small mountain village. She has nothing.

No, no, she held that pillow in her arms and cried loudly for several stops. It was different, it was still different. At that time, she at least dared to see and recognize three children. Yes, but now, now, she doesn't even dare to see them. She touches her face, but she can't feel any flesh, and she seems to be able to touch the bags under her eyes and the general swelling. With a cyan face.

There were also visible pinpricks on her arms, and almost her entire body was covered in disgusting red bumps.

Suddenly, she put down the pillow in her arms. Then he clenched his hands hard. The nails of both hands were almost dug into the palms of the hands.

Her fingers kept grabbing the quilt, loosening, opening, opening and loosening, she was crying, and biting her lips until they were almost bloody.

In the blur, she seemed to know nothing. She unconsciously took the little money she had, and then started walking towards the door.

She wanted to go out, she wanted to go out.

She couldn't help it, she was in pain, oooo...

Let her die, really let her die.

If she lived so painfully, why should she live.

Her mother had been crushed to ashes, her gentle mother, the mother who regarded her as everything.

Mom.

Yan Huan suddenly knelt down, no, she hugged herself, she couldn't go, she couldn't go, if she went, she would never be able to turn back, she couldn't be seen, she couldn't let anyone know who she was.

She couldn't hurt Lu Yi, and she couldn't hurt the three children.

They were everything to her. She had never done anything for them. Why couldn't she hurt them again? It would only stain their lives, stains that could never be washed away.

She didn't want her children to hate her.

She held her head. At this moment, her body was no longer her own. She was in so much pain that even her soul was twisted. She banged her head against the ground, and her head was covered in blood.