Chapter 2267: Late Autumn in Golden City (31)

The shocked expression on Loki's face lasted less than a second, and she turned her head away.

"I'm not here for psychotherapy."

"I respect any orientation."

Loki opened her mouth and paused for two seconds, then looked at Schiller and said, "Why do you say that?"

"Because of your gender fluidity, so..."

"Not that." Loki interrupted Schiller and said, "Why do you think I'm..."

"That's a long story."

"Let's make it short."

"But you're not here for psychotherapy."

Loki was choked, and she couldn't help complaining, "Why are you so different from the doctor?"

"Because I'm not a psychiatrist." Schiller changed one leg and put it on the other leg and said, "Do you think the detailed questioning, careful observation, scientific analysis and careful judgment conducted by your good doctor are because such a process is necessary?"

"Isn't it?"

"It's because he pressed Hourly billing, we don't need this. "

Loki puffed up her cheeks and said, "Then you should tell me the reason, and I will pay you for the consultation."

"But I am not a psychiatrist, and I don't need anyone to pay for my judgment." Schiller leaned to one side, resting his elbow on the armrest of the armchair, fingertips on his temples, tilted his head to look at Loki and said, "Instead, you have to be prepared to accept my judgment-usually there is nothing good, and it is not what you want to hear."

"Then why do you say it?"

"Because people feel that they are capable of bearing the truth before they know the answer, and curiosity will definitely push you into a dead end, but if I stand at the end waiting for you, you think I am too sharp."

Loki had nothing to say. She found that she always had nothing to say in front of this Schiller. Not long after they parted, she began to miss her good doctor.

Dr. Schiller's fees are indeed very high, and he also needs others to provide him with additional emotional value, and sometimes even have to turn himself into fun for him to have fun.

But it must be admitted that the consultation and treatment he provided were refreshing, and his views on certain things were enlightening, but not difficult to accept, because he had already explained the truth before the truth was announced.

But it seems that Professor Schiller has no such patience. He is better at hitting the nail on the head. He is too sharp. No one can gain a language advantage in front of him. He is focused and sharp, like a real weird genius.

Loki met Schiller's eyes. She felt that she had been seen through by his slightly neurotic eyes, but she had to admit that Schiller was right. His performance made people more curious about the answer he could give.

Loki let out a long breath, leaned against the bedpost, held the round top of the bedpost with her hand, pressed her chin on the back of her hand, and stared at Schiller sitting on the sofa in the corner.

"So, what do you think of me?"

"People always say that your upbringing shaped you. Odin's injustice, Thor's roughness, and Frigga's excessive attention led you to become Loki, and all the Lokis in the universe became Loki."

"But people's views actually make you very annoyed. You always think that you shaped yourself."

"Your greed never comes from past lack, and your perfectionism is not because of insecurity. You think you should have something because you think you deserve it, not because you didn't have it before and you must have it now."

"So paying too much attention to your past is an insult to you. They regard you as a floating duckweed in the storm. They seem to sympathize with you, but in fact they think you have nothing to anchor yourself. This view drives you crazy."

"As far as your feelings are concerned, Odin regards you as his youngest son, Frigga regards you as a wronged little prince, Laufey regards you as a tool to turn the tables on Odin, and the Asgardians regard you as an ordinary second prince."

"Only Thor sees you as more than just his younger brother , he sees you as Loki.

"He has a clearer understanding of your self than others, and takes your sociological attributes lightly. Even when he complains to Odin, he never says how my brother is or how your son is. He only says Loki did this again, Loki did that again."

"Rather than looking back at the past, Thor spends 99% of his time looking forward. Many people regard this as a lack of memory and being too reckless, but because of this, he knows you as you are at this moment, not as a collection of past experiences."

"In front of him, you You can't feel the emotional impact of past experiences on your current relationship. When you are together, you can focus on the present and imagine the future without distraction. This is something that even Odin can't do. "

"This makes you deeply fascinated, attracted to him, and want to occupy his time, because every minute and every second you are with him, you feel that you are yourself more deeply than at other times. "

"Perhaps you don't realize that the firm self you think is actually not as solid as you think. The old shadows of the past make you painful, but you always avoid them. "

"Showing your presence to others is more like a temporary painkiller, but with Thor, you feel the wind and waves calm down, and his recognition of your independence at this moment is like an anchor sinking into the deep sea. Because of his existence, you don't need to show yourself, you can be yourself."

"This not only makes you pursue, but also makes you addicted, but if it is obvious that you will spend less and less time with him, you will be more eager to find another anchor - you want to choose Thor madly, but want to avoid him as much as possible."

"Because you know that what Thor does is just natural, he does this to everyone, he doesn't realize that he is not good enough for you. You don't want him to realize the special meaning, so when things are still okay, you choose to maintain the status quo, do nothing, or even retreat and give up. "

"As for why you don't want him to realize... there is still a subtle sense of winning and losing between you. Although you have respected him as the king and acknowledged the gap in status between you, feelings have always been two different things. "

"You hope to have more ropes in your hands and avoid handing your ropes to anyone. You..."

Schiller paused, frowned slightly, as if he was sniffing something, and then began to explore in a deeper direction.

"You don't want Thor to feel at ease, from the beginning to the end. You hope that he will always be worried about you. You think you can't let him feel that 'Loki is doing well, there is nothing to ask for, and things can go on like this.'"

"But you are not completely seeking his attention or involving his attention. You seem to be seeking a kind of emotional...fairness."

"He can anchor you, and you think this is a kind of power, so the obligation he needs to fulfill is to be bothered by your existence, like 'you can do this to me at a price.'"

"Because he doesn't actually know what he can do to you, and you have kept it a secret so far, so you have won twice, holding one of Thor's ropes in your hand, and not giving him your own rope, which puts you in an emotionally advantageous position."

"In your relationship, you are so competitive... It's also natural. Sex makes it so. "

"Yes, you are a person who weighs your existence through possession and being possessed - the more you possess, the clearer your ego is, and the more you are possessed, the clearer your superego is."

"When you own something, you can actively use your consciousness to make judgments to release your natural freedom. When you are owned by certain people in certain identities, you will be trapped by conscience and morality, so you are not completely good, nor completely bad."

"You want to possess Thor and be possessed by him, hope to release your free nature in front of him, and hope that both of you are bound by your loved ones and follow the rules in the sociological sense that you must be responsible for your loved ones."

Schiller's fingers tapped the armrest of the sofa regularly, and he was obviously in deep thought. His amazing talent was working at full capacity, and the air in the room was filled with the echo of his thoughts.

"The current situation is that Thor has entered a new stage of life step by step. He ascended the throne, got married and had children. A new stage of life always has opportunities and challenges, but whether it is opportunities or challenges, you are obviously not his main theme."

"You and Thor have almost no chance to be alone. The days of being inseparable in your youth are getting farther and farther away from you two, and your need to possess him cannot be met."

"Thor has more and closer family members. He has a wife and is about to have a child. Even if he values ​​you as much as before, he has several more people who are bound by the rule of being responsible for his relatives, and you still have almost only him, and your need to be possessed is not met."

"Empty, entangled, pulled, torn... You think the relationship between you is becoming more and more unequal. You think the way to restore the unbalanced scale is to satisfy your need to possess and be possessed again."

"You need to re-possess Thor's energy, so that he has more moral constraints on you and can take more responsibility to possess you."

"You will think you can achieve both at the same time , the method is... to find another Thor. "

"This is extremely bold and risky, for both you and Thor, because you know that things have developed to this point, you have to give the rope, this is your bargaining chip - let Thor realize that you need him not only because of brotherhood, but for deeper reasons. "

"Maybe you still don't want him to realize the truth, maybe you think he is incapable of understanding, but you hope to disguise this as love through another Thor. "

"This will give your brother a great shock, tighten the rope in your hand, pull him towards you, so that maybe you can return to balance. "

"So the appearance of the super troublemaker you mentioned is not accidental, this is part of your plan. "

"You need a Thor, but not completely Thor, because if he is exactly the same as your brother, you are not sure if you can control yourself. "

"But the fascination of Thor will be reflected in most Thors, so you must find a special one, so that you can use him without distraction, instead of digging a trap and falling into it. "

"But that's not enough. When the actors are in place, you need a stage. My banquet is the best place. You will find a way to get that second-generation ancestor Thor to chase you and let your brother hear something."

"He will definitely come to ask me. In addition to apologizing to me for your behavior, he will definitely feel that as your psychiatrist, I noticed all this in advance. He will want to know when this started and to what extent it has developed. He may even consult me ​​about his relationship with you."

"Then it is obvious that your good doctor will not peel off your skin so sharply and bluntly. He will only give you an answer I gave you before-yes, your brother's feelings for you far exceed brotherly love."

Schiller sighed and said.

"Most people regard love as the noblest emotion in the world. They believe that the end of all emotions should be love, so once they mention transcendence, they mistakenly think that the sublimated emotion is love."

"But the human emotional system is much more complicated than this. The charm lies in the fact that after each emotion reaches its extreme, there is no end point at all."

"But most people are incapable and unwilling to understand this, and only superficially regard them all as love."

"How perfunctory and shallow, full of their common escapist spirit, is one of the strong evidences that they are good at finding excuses for their brains not working..."

"Enough."