Chapter 426 Past Life, Present Life

This was the first time that Aiwas saw Isabel crying and shedding tears.

But there was no sadness or fear in her crying. Aiwas could capture a sense of peace and warmth from it.

——The first thing Aiwas thought of was the diary that Isabel had shown him.

In the diary where the members of the "Du Lac" family left traces of life one by one, the first two sentences left by Isabel, who was only nine years old, were:

"I'm so scared..."

"Dad said I can cry..."

At that time, Isabel, who was immersed in the fear of death, was so lonely and scared. She didn't know that the person Queen Sofia wanted to keep the most was her - from Isabel's point of view, the relatives who were gradually dying were like a sharp blade hanging in the air, ready to fall at any time.

She couldn't laugh anyway.

——So she could only cry.

Later, even the "Dad" mentioned in the diary quietly fled the Glass Island. Isabel became completely alone.

It was like being on a cliff with only a single-plank bridge under her feet. Just looking down at the abyss will make you dizzy and weak in the legs.

In the fear of not knowing when to die, even her own father chose to leave her. Isabel was able to continue to maintain that pure and kind heart, not being distorted by fear, and she had already done her best.

And the person who made Isabel no longer afraid and cry was Aiwass.

Aiwass rescued Isabel from the darkness, helped her wear the crown, and became the queen of Avalon.

Since she is the queen, she must give people confidence. The queen has no right to cry, because she cannot show the slightest weakness in front of people.

Now it is Aiwass who can make her cry again.

Aiwass's eyes gradually softened.

At first, he just comforted Isabel, laughed at her softly, and coaxed her in a gentle voice. But at some point, he also felt that his eyes were a little wet.

Aiwass also thought of something.

He thought of the scarf Queen Sofia gave him, the bright smile on Isabel's face when she first drew his portrait, and the beautiful eyes that sparkled when Isabel handed him the diary.

Afterwards, Aiwass suddenly thought of the day they first met.

She met him under the identity of "Lulu" and her biological mother "Anne Alexander".

Aiwass remembered the gentle smile on her face when she carefully took "Little Aiwas" from his arms, and the lullaby she sang softly when she coaxed him to sleep.

...Now that I think about it carefully, maybe it's not that Lulu's lullaby is too powerful. That's why she almost hypnotized me.

Although Isabel's singing talent is indeed outstanding, she doesn't have the bonus of the Tao path characteristics, so she can't easily hypnotize Aiwas.

Perhaps it's because... Aiwas originally longed for that kind of love.

Isabel's gentle lullaby may not penetrate the heart of a restless person... but for a heart that has been dry for a long time, it is a spring breeze and drizzle.

Wine does not make people drunk, but people get drunk by themselves.

For Aiwass, the lullaby that "Lulu" sang to coax "little Aiwass" to sleep is also the bedside song he wants to hear from the bottom of his heart.

The summer evening breeze blows past the window, blowing the wind chimes.

And he is being held in his mother's arms, enjoying the carefree childhood. There is no anxiety about the future in the child's eyes, only hope for tomorrow.

Aiwass slowly hugged Isabel tighter.

Gradually, Aiwass's comforting voice stopped. Isabel's crying also gradually stopped.

The two hugged quietly like this, and time flew by.

Sniffing the fragrance of the hair, feeling the warmth in his arms.

In his previous life, Aiwass also had a father, mother, grandparents.

He also had enlightened parents and a happy childhood. In that ignorant childhood, he was much happier than the Aiwass of this world... much, much happier.

His parents taught him a lot about being a person or doing things, and helped him develop many good habits and a cheerful personality. His father would play games with him, and his mother would always cook good meals and tell him stories. His grandfather would take Aiwass to play chess and go fishing, and his grandmother would knit sweaters and make cotton clothes for him.

——Until a major earthquake destroyed Aiwass's entire world, leaving him alone.

This is just like Dickinson's poem.

She once said, "I could have endured the darkness if I had never seen the sun."

Aiwass had been loved and had drunk the nectar of happiness. His family were all good people, and he grew up in a bright world-until the sun fell.

——I remembered it.

Aiwass opened his eyes slightly, and his breathing stopped for a moment.

The memories that he had deliberately forgotten were retrieved again. It was not like unsealing, but more like finally opening the homework that had been saved for a holiday.

He had known about their existence and even the general content, but he was always unwilling to face it.

Before the earthquake, Aiwas had a vague feeling of uneasiness. He had also seen insects crawling and toads walking on the streets. But he did not take the fleeting uneasiness seriously. Only after the event did he feel the heart-wrenching guilt and regret.

——If only I had taken these omens seriously at that time. Aiwass sometimes thought so.

He woke up from a nightmare with cold sweat on his back.

After many, many years, he gradually forgot the guilt at that time. But those loves were deeply engraved in his heart, just like the marks he carved on the wall of his hometown when he was ignorant as a child.

Perhaps it was because Aiwass had experienced such beauty that he now longed for that kind of love; or perhaps it was because he was the only one who survived the disaster that he always subconsciously wanted to sacrifice himself to help others.

Because he had experienced suffering, he hoped that others would not experience it again;

Because he had felt that kind of powerlessness, he wanted to control his own destiny;

And because he was the only one who was saved at that time, he is always not afraid of self-harm now.

That is a subconscious desire for self-destruction.

Before Aiwass awakened his memories of his past life, he always subconsciously chose to sacrifice himself to help others; he always avoided the feelings and expectations of others and was always unwilling to accept the love of others.

Just like quitting the game when an account is hacked, not raising pets when a pet dies of old age, not getting married when a wife or husband passes away... What Aiwass resists is the love from others; and tracing back to the source, he hates his own weakness.

Because of this, Aiwass always subconsciously keeps a distance from others.

And his adaptability to dedicate to the path and transcend the path now comes from this subconscious.

If Isabel is a gorgeous but fragile glass, then Aiwass is a steel with a hard exterior but cracks inside.

——That is not emptiness, but fear.

The fear of disaster coming again and being powerless... unable to save the loved one.

If that is the case, then it is better not to love. As long as you have never had it, you will not be sad because of losing it.

"... So, I am afraid too."

Aiwass understood in his heart and whispered in a low voice.

"What?"

Isabel did not hear Aiwass's words clearly, and asked with some confusion.

Her voice became vague and hoarse because of sobbing. But the gentle voice seemed well-behaved.

"Nothing."

Aiwass said softly: "I just suddenly realized... In fact, the most timid coward was actually myself."

He had been encouraging Isabel to overcome her fear and watching Isabel gradually become strong.

But isn't this also projecting the fear in my heart onto her?

Her victory is my victory. I helped her stand up, just like helping my past self.

——The courage Aiwass gave her has now become the courage she gave Aiwass.

Even if Aiwass recalls the past again, he will not be afraid of it.

The moment he realized this, Aiwass's heart, which was restless because of facing the past, gradually calmed down again.

In Aiwass's pupils, red and purple reached an unprecedented harmony and balance.

"Lulu."

He called Isabel's other name softly.

"Hmm?"

Isabel was also a little confused. She shook her head and wiped her tears with Aiwass's shoulder before raising her head from Aiwass's arms.

Aiwass just silently moved his hand that was gently placed on her back upwards. Between his fingers were the flowing golden hair, and his open hand gently cushioned the back of Isabel's head.

In an instant, Isabel realized what was going to happen next.

She slightly opened her eyes in surprise, her long eyelashes trembled like butterfly wings, and her clear green eyes raised a bright light like water. She immediately closed her eyes and held her breath.

Aiwass lowered his head and kissed lightly.

First the forehead, then the tip of the nose. Finally the lips.

Isabel's soft waist bent slightly backwards, and Aiwass's shoulders were hugging tighter and tighter.

A slight touch, then separation. Licking the bitter tears gently, until she gasped when she couldn't breathe.