Two Thousand Two Hundred and Eleven Gu Ying Pity Herself

No matter how difficult, no matter how terrible, no matter how bad, Matthew will never leave his place, he is always surrounded by Renly's most steadfast; There's Rooney, Andre, Eaton...and Edith.

Matthew, believe it.

"Renly, you know." Matthew's succinct tone, with unquestionable firmness, "Deep down, you know that this is Edith's decision, and neither you nor Edith expected it to be like this. As a result, no one was expecting such an outcome, an accident, which is always out of our control."

"If you really think it's your fault, then you're too arrogant, you're not God, you can't control Edith's life choices; if you really think it's all your own making, you don't Can't stay in Snim any longer, you'll go to the front to find Edith yourself."

"You chose to stay in Sneem, and it was the right and wisest choice; you chose to help Edith in your own way, and you were right. Understand? Deep down, you know this, You should also believe that, even if Edith is here, she will agree with you."

Matthew's voice was slow but firm, but Renly shook his head gently, "No, you're not Edith, you can't judge for her."

"The same goes for you. You can't assume Edith will blame you, it's not about you, it's about her. And the only thing you can do is to be strong." Matthew hit it straight without showing weakness. Going back, he raised his voice loudly, but then calmed down.

Matthew said word by word, "Renly, you have to have faith. You have to believe that Edith will come back, and then she will stand in front of you and tell you what she really thinks. You have to have faith that if Even if you don't believe it yourself..." Having said that, Matthew's voice stopped slightly, he was unable to continue speaking, and seemed to be worried that if he said the follow-up words, it would become true. :

If even Renly had lost faith, who else could have believed in Edith steadfastly?

In Renly's "The Beast," sings the loneliness and sadness inside, "So we arrived, a lonely place where we can't go back, you are the face that made me go through fire and water, this is the child Cast the inherited name, cast beauty, cast crown; cast perfection, go far away."

Matthew finally understands Heather now, and finally understands why Heather waited until he grew up to truly understand the loneliness behind this melody.

They, like Heather, staggered along with Renly to a lonely place where they couldn't go back, and persevered with a conviction; they were the only one they had in each other,

If even Renly couldn't hold on to the only company they had on their lonely journey, would they also be swallowed up by the beasts in their hearts, and then they would never be able to find themselves again.

"Renly," Matthew called softly.

"..." Renly said nothing.

"I'm still here," Matthew went on, as "The Beast" sings, "so when you're weak, when you get down on your knees, I'll do my best for the rest of the day to watch over you. The oath, fresh and true." Even if Renly couldn't hold on to it, he would still keep that oath.

"..." Ren Li, still did not speak.

The quiet silence is slowly spreading in the indoor space, the cold air outside the window is invading, and the indoor heating is retreating. The unbearable night made that sense of oppression more and more surging.

Sweat soaked the sheets and quilts, as if the whole person was soaked in a muddy swamp, and then the shallow puddles slowly frozen into ice, from the skin to the blood to the bones, inch by inch, and time seemed to pass. Being frozen in the emotional rut, he stopped moving forward.

The world is so cold that even the breath of the soul becomes weak.

But Matthew never gave up, just stared at Renly silently, and even a little paranoid refused to look away, as if a wrestling was unfolding.

This wasn't the Renly he knew, and it wasn't supposed to be Renly; he knew, he knew Renly could be tired and sleepy and confused and hurt, and Renly was not invincible; but Renly would always be Will not surrender, and will not give up. That's why he still has hope for Edith—because Renly still hasn't given up.

"...I guess Elf isn't the only one who doesn't look like him." Renly finally spoke, and the hoarse voice came from the depths of his soul, with deep fatigue, but it rose slightly The corners of his mouth revealed a touch of ridicule and banter, and the familiar appearance came back again.

Renly knew that the appearance of self-pity and self-pity was not himself at all, and he couldn't even imagine the breeding of such negative emotions; but in the face of the predicament, they were gradually losing themselves. It evolved into a wound that could not be healed, and eventually became a monster demon that he could not recognize, his face twisted horribly, and all the negative energy erupted.

When he finally heard Ren Li's voice, Matthew's high-hanging mood was able to slowly fall. This was the Ren Li he was familiar with.

Suddenly, Matthew's nose was slightly sore. He couldn't imagine what Renly had on his shoulders, nor how hard Renly was working.

Growing up, Renly had always been like this, carrying everything so maturely and prudently that they could only watch his back and follow him all the way. They saw his strength, his excellence, and his wisdom, but they never saw the fragility behind those strengths, just like when EGOT was achieved, his tiredness and alienation were like kite strings that have to be freed from their palms at any time. Generally, they never and couldn't understand, they just knew that he had really paid too much along the way.

Staring at Renly, whose life was so weak in front of him, Matthew refused to imagine what would have happened if Edith really had an accident.

"But obviously, she's not you, and you're not her." The strength of his knees and calves relaxed, and Matthew simply turned around, leaned back against the edge of the bed, and sat down cross-legged. After the tense emotions were relaxed, he also felt After a while, the fatigue surged up like a tide, and he needed to rest for a while, just a little while.

"Matthew."

"Um?"

Renly called out softly, but did not connect. After a long silence, he continued, "Do you believe Edith can come back?"

Matthew paused for a moment and gave an unexpected answer, "I trust you."

This raised the corners of Renly's mouth, and let out a low chuckle, but because he was too tired, the voice quickly disappeared deep in his throat, "I wish I could know the answer to all the questions, I pretended to stand From God's perspective to lead the overall situation, but in the end, I'm just a player in the game."

"Fortunately, you are in the middle of the game, otherwise, our group of friends may suffer. You should know that God will not take action to save an independent individual, right?" Matthew joked seriously, The sense of absurdity made Renly chuckle again.

"But what can I do?" Renly's voice was a little low: Heather was like this, Paul was like that, and Edith was like that now. He never seemed to help. After all, he is an ordinary person, and there are too many things that he can't save.

Matthew could taste the depth of Renly's words, and he said softly, "You should know that without you, our lives would not be what they are now."

Renly twitched the corners of his mouth, "I strongly doubt whether Edith can agree with her standing here, she should protest righteously, and will never listen to my advice again, her life I don't need to point fingers. Otherwise, next time, she might just break up with Chris Evans directly."

What?

Why is Chris Evans in this conversation?

Matthew was so surprised that he choked on his own saliva and coughed violently, which made Renly gleefully laugh.

After finally calming down, Matthew asked curiously, "Have you updated Chris?" This is the only reasonable explanation.

"…Yes, I sent a text," Renly said calmly.

Matthew nodded slightly and did not continue to ask, because he could expect Chris' reaction. Obviously, Renly's nightmare tonight should have something to do with Chris-he doesn't think Chris can accept the truth calmly , Chris is bound to pass all the blame to Renly; and Renly can't refute. In other words, even though Renly retorted, deep down, those wounds were there.

It was as if the Crosses had put all the blame on Renly when Heather died - the hurt of those words was more terrifying than the pain itself. They need to pass the buck, they need to find a scapegoat, they need to find someone to vent their anger, but what about Renly?

Who was Renly to blame?

"Renly, he's not worth it," Matthew whispered.

But Renly didn't answer. He just lay quietly on the spot, staring at the dark ceiling above his head. It seemed that the afterimage fragments of the nightmare could still be seen, and the temperature of the hot blood could still be felt on his cheeks. The bloody smell always lingered under the nose.

"..." After a long time, Renly's voice finally came, "I know."

The whole room fell silent, and then you could hear Renly's hoarse voice humming softly, the vague lyrics mixed into the melody, like a lullaby, showing the softness and pain deep inside your heart. Come out, light and fragile, you can't help but hold your breath.

"...So we got up and searched for our destiny in the dark, I saw you bruised late last night, I saw you dancing in the arms of the devil."

vertex

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