Chapter 790: Strike

Joan has known for a long time that he has many shortcomings and can't do many things well, such as social activities.

It's not that he can't accept criticism, but this time it's very different.

He has always thought that even if he lacks talent in other areas, at least in the field of academic research, he still has a little bit of talent.

All along, his schooling experience has been relatively smooth, coupled with the fact that he does have outstanding intellectual advantages, it is inevitable that some small conceit will gradually grow in his heart, and he feels that he is very suitable for the path of "scholar".

In fact, due to his withdrawn personality and social barriers, he has been unable to find a position that does not make him feel awkward outside of school.

Over time, immersing himself in studies and researching topics he was interested in became his only spiritual sustenance and motivation for life.

No matter how much magic he learns, it can only bring him happiness, and outsiders have no way of knowing it; publishing research results can help him win reputation and wider social recognition.

For Joan, becoming a scholar means being able to integrate into society without resorting to social activities, and it means being able to make people recognize their value without having to come into close contact with them.

In human society, he can only find the only suitable position for him, which can be called the predestined vocation.

Other than that, he had no choice.

For a long time, all of Joan's career and life plans have been unremitting efforts towards the goal of "becoming a scholar".

Suddenly, however, this path seems to be dead!

So, if a monster like him who is out of tune with society can't find his place in the "ivory tower", what should he do in the future?

Qiao An looked around in a daze, as if there was an endless night in front of him, and there was no road prepared for him, which made him lose his sense of direction for the first time in his life.

This deep sense of frustration even made him feel that it was really meaningless to live in such a world that didn't fit in with him.

After vomiting, Joan felt exhausted.

Reluctantly pulling up his strength, he turned on the water to rinse the sink, and then walked back to the bedroom like a wandering ghost.

He fell headfirst on the bed, his face buried in the pillow, unable to arouse interest in doing anything, and his heart was gloomy.

Just lying on the bed in a daze like this, after an unknown amount of time, a bell rang downstairs.

It was Mrs. Anderson, the landlady, ringing the bell for him to come down to lunch.

Joan vomited up all the contents in his stomach, and the occasional stomach acid caused a strong burning sensation, extending from his stomach to his throat.

He knew very well that he should eat something, to suppress the acid water in his stomach, but he had no appetite, and he didn't want to go downstairs to see anyone.

Mrs. Anderson saw that he didn't respond for a long time, maybe when he fell asleep, she didn't say hello again.

Joan lay half asleep and half awake for a long time, and suddenly realized a serious problem.

I can't hide in the bedroom endlessly and be ashamed to see people.

In the evening, if you still don't go downstairs to eat, the landlady will probably go upstairs to visit, and the Zion siblings will also knock on the door to ask.

At that time, how should I respond?

Lying and pretending to be sick?

This can only be deceived by Mrs. Housing, but not Audrey who is proficient in "Lay on Healing".

What's more, Audrey and Holden knew about his thesis writing, and they often asked him about the review status these days. If they asked about this matter again, how should they answer it?

Qiao An believes that he can tell the truth, but he can't guarantee that he can pretend to be nonchalant while telling the truth.

If Audrey and Holden saw that he was so devastated by the rejection of the manuscript that he lost his mind and didn't think about food and drink, that would make him feel more ashamed than the rejection of the manuscript.

The more Joan thought about it, the more uncomfortable he felt. He absolutely didn't want to have contact with Zion's siblings in this situation, so he climbed up with support, went downstairs quietly, and slipped out of the apartment.

Where should we go next?

Standing on the street in the afternoon, Joan suddenly realized that the city in front of him had become very strange.

go to school?

Of course not!

Holden's big mouth, I'm afraid he has already publicized the fact that he wrote the thesis. Wouldn't it be embarrassing if some students asked about it.

It has been almost three months since Joan came to Midgard, but it was only today that he realized that he lacked the most basic understanding of the city he lived in.

The trajectory of daily life is nothing more than two points and one line between the school and the apartment.

Now that he can't go to the school or the apartment, he doesn't know where else he can settle down.

Walking aimlessly along the street for a while, Joan found a green space at the corner with benches for pedestrians to rest while walking.

He sat on the bench, bowed his head and reflected on his behavior, and the more he thought about it, the more ashamed he felt.

Before submitting the manuscript, he thought that he was mentally prepared for the rejection of the manuscript and could face it calmly.

However, when the worst expectation became reality, he did not show the strong qualities he thought he had, but instead was deeply hit, lost his soul, and was as fragile as a soft egg!

Reason told Joan that the rejection letter was actually no big deal.

Although the criticism from the editor-in-chief of the journal is severe, it will not prevent him from continuing to contribute in the future. The failure of a paper does not mean the end of his academic career.

What's more, the other party's criticism mainly pointed to his rash attitude and wrong format, not to the content of the paper, and did not deny his talent.

If you are strong enough, you can deal with this setback calmly, instead of giving up on yourself here and wasting good time in vain.

The word "strong" is simple to say, but it is difficult to implement it consistently in life.

Joan has always felt that she does not lack strong qualities.

Judging from past experience, he does have reason to claim to be strong.

He once gouged out his own eyes and hung upside down on a tree for nine days and nine nights, but he didn't shed a single tear.

He also fought bloody battles on the front line of Brass Mountain, facing the siege of jackals and fire giants, even when he ran out of ammunition and food, he never had the slightest thought of giving up resistance.

Not to mention, risking his life to go deep into the Underdark Region, and going through hardships and obstacles, he never backed down.

The suffering and torture in the world can almost be endured silently. Can such a person be said to be weak?

However, the human mind is not an abstract point, but more like a three-dimensional structure composed of countless planes.

No matter how strong a person is, there is no guarantee that all the planes that make up the soul are equally indestructible. There will always be one or two sides that appear relatively fragile.

A person's inner world cannot be simply defined by "strong" or "fragile".

Those who are not afraid of death are not necessarily not afraid of life.

Being vulnerable to something is just because you care too much about it.

The more you care about something, the easier it is to be hurt by it.

Just when Qiao An was restless, there was a sudden wave of magic power in front of him, and a small ball of red light emerged, calling silently to him.