Chapter 316 In the Terrifying Thought

But one day, a very small thing happened in life, or it was simply sunny and peaceful, and that person suddenly no longer wanted to continue memorizing words.

So he gave up.

“It tastes really good.”

Mu Chun said and opened the drawer again and took out a piece of chocolate. He peeled off the black and gold striped wrapping paper and threw it into his mouth with a huff.

Little Bell seemed to smell the fragrance all over the room, and chirped in her sleep.

Maybe it was because the squeaking sound was so cute, Gu Tiantian suddenly peeled off the candy wrapper and stuffed the chocolate into his mouth.

It was so delicious that Gu Tiantian, who already liked dark chocolate, suddenly felt that something good was finally happening this afternoon.

Perhaps because the fragrant chocolate smell became stronger, the frequency of Little Bell's mouth also increased. While moving his small mouth, his fat right hand rhythmically grabbed Gu Tiantian's left shoulder a few times. .

"Do you like the taste of chocolate so much, little bell?"

Gu Tiantian was so enchanted by the cute appearance of the little bell that he couldn't help but kiss the child's cheek, and then he laughed happily.

The gloom on Muchun's face was also swept away by the laughter.

"I still have two pieces here. Do you want one for each of us?" Muchun asked.

Gu Tiantian originally wanted to say not to eat it. Eating one piece already made him feel guilty, but it was really a delicious chocolate.

Little Bell seemed to understand and scratched Gu Tiantian's shoulder again. Gu Tiantian nodded and got another piece of chocolate.

"What brand of chocolate is this? I've never seen it before."

Gu Tiantian asked while peeling off the packaging.

"This is a chocolate recommended by Little Watermelon. It is said to be suitable for most office workers to eat to relieve stress. It is imported from Switzerland and is quite expensive."

"I haven't eaten chocolate for a long time, but I couldn't control it today."

"Why control? Life is about to change. Staying the same does not mean everything is peaceful. The earth revolves around the sun, and there are spring, summer, autumn and winter around the sea. There are high incidences of epidemic diseases in every season. Chickenpox is in spring and intestinal tract is in summer. Infectious diseases in autumn may include hand, foot and mouth and influenza. Cells in the human body metabolize once every three months on average. Old cells die and new cells are born. Due to the different metabolism times and intervals of different cells, it is assumed that all cells in the body will be metabolized. It takes seven years to replace them all. In other words, physiologically, we are a different person every seven years. You are you, but you are no longer you.

Every year people get old, sick and die, lovers break up every day, strangers meet, old people leave, and new babies are born. The world can never remain the same and there is no permanent stability.

Human beings like stability. In order to get rid of the fear caused by instability, they invented control. However, control is often accompanied by loss of control. As a result, humans become irritable, furious, blame each other, blame themselves or others, but forget that the best way to avoid losing control is to To avoid control, humans need chocolate. "

Gu Tiantian almost really listened to Mu Chun's sudden words, but the last sentence left her completely stunned.

"Doctor, what did you just say?"

"I said that no piece of chocolate is perfect in the world, and no one would ask for a perfect piece of chocolate, then put it into their mouth and eat it all. We will not ask for this."

After giving birth to the child, Gu Tiantian did change a lot. As Mu Chun said, she began to hope that she could be a perfect mother and that she would not have to do anything while the child was growing up, at least during the few years that she was taking care of her. occur.

I always feel that I will be a special case favored by God. It is really possible that my child will never be injured under careful care, and will not suffer from some diseases that children may usually experience, such as many children within one year old. [Children's acute rash] (also known as infantile roseola and heat rash) is an acute rash infectious disease commonly seen in infants and young children caused by human herpes virus type 6 infection. When the onset occurs, various rashes appear on the back, neck and other parts of the body. Regular erythema, mild cold symptoms or persistent high temperature appear in 3-5 days, and rash appears within 12-24 hours after the fever subsides. Most babies will not feel itching in 1-3 days, except for special circumstances. It will heal in about 1 week, so don’t worry.)

Just trying so hard to be perfect, to keep all bad things out of the house, and to let the little bell grow up truly carefree and without setbacks.

So I tortured myself into [postpartum depression]. This word is really appropriate!

"Then what happened to me today? I offended everyone in my family. It's different from the original problem. It turns out that I was afraid that my child would be in danger. I was afraid that a little bell would accidentally--"

Gu Tiantian didn't say those two words. She knew that Muchun understood what she meant.

She glanced at Muchun, and seemed to see Muchun nodding, so she continued: "In the afternoon, it was too scary. It was different from before. I felt that my thoughts were the danger to the baby. I felt that it was me. To kill the baby."

"But this horrific thought is just a thought. Could it happen? Did it happen?"

Gu Tiantian shook his head desperately, "That's not the case. I think it's too real. Reality is like the past tense and past perfect tense in English. I am the mother who has committed a crime."

Gu Tiantian hugged Xiao Lingling tightly, and the sadness in her heart blocked her tears. The most important thing was that she finally had some confidence in herself and even started planning to find a job after the new year. Now everything seemed to be getting worse.

"It will change. Depression will change in its manifestation. I need to give you a simple test, which will take you a few minutes. Is that okay?"

Gu Tiantian nodded. Gu Tiantian, who was holding Xiao Lingling, now only hoped that this terrible thought would not appear again.

"In fact, everyone may have experienced what happened to you today in their lifetime. Some people will stand on the rooftop and imagine what will happen if I push the person in front of them down; some people will imagine what will happen if they join me and hold that person's feet to prevent him from floating to the surface when swimming.

The so-called [terrible thoughts] are not entirely the corruption of our moral character. Once they appear or have appeared, we are sinful, sinful souls, unforgivable, and not worth saving. It's not like that at all."

"What is it then?" Gu Tiantian was eager to know the answer and wanted to believe that she was not an evil bad mother.