Chapter 1002 I Have a Nickname Called Black Widow, Bald Boy, Do You Still Want to Flirt?
Creak~~!
Boom!
With the screeching sound of brakes, a black super sports car parked steadily on the side of the road in this community with a steady posture.
Then,
A girl wearing a black one-piece leather jacket, with a belt buckled around her waist, a gun holster and some small combat accessories, and a multi-tool in her hand, got out of the driver's seat. Get out and slam the door of your car hard.
'...'
'...'
This kind of non-federal government personnel wearing and openly carrying guns quickly attracted the attention of many neighbors and pedestrians around them. However, when they saw that the car logo was a ferocious steel bear head badge, they suddenly shifted. They left their sight and continued to work on their respective affairs.
Because, they know from the black sports car with the badge as the logo, it must be the guardian of the earth, the personnel and vehicles of the Bear Shield Bureau that has gradually replaced the functions of the United Nations and performed the duties of the world's police. It is very common on the earth, and they don't need to be too surprised.
"House number 0309..."
"That's right, it must be here!"
I looked at the house number that was crooked, and then I looked at the two small trees that were torn bare in the courtyard of the other party, and the tree in the neighbor's house that stretched over because of its overgrown branches, and they also suffered. The girl took off the sunglasses on the bridge of her nose, pinned them into the tight clothes on her plump chest, twisted her graceful waist, and straightened Walked into the courtyard of the house.
That's right!
Today, Black Widow Natasha Romanoff, one of the top executives of the Bear Shield Bureau, Director Nick Fury's right-hand man, and also a member of the Avengers and an elite agent, drove to this place by herself. This well-heeled community on the edge of Pelham Bay Park is going to carry out one of her missions!
Ding dong~!
Ding ding dong~! !
After reconfirming the house number and making sure that she did not go to the wrong place, Natasha, the black widow who walked to the gate of the house, stretched out her hand, rang the doorbell twice, and then stood with her arms crossed. Wait patiently outside the door.
'Alas...'
'Who? Is it selling insurance? '
'The poor monk has told you many times,
The poor monk, the master and the apprentice are the real Buddha. Do you people from other countries understand what it means to be the real Buddha? We really don't need that kind of accident insurance, we don't need medical insurance, and we don't need to buy that kind of burglary insurance! '
‘No matter how chaotic you are here in the Bronx, the poor monk can guarantee that no one will dare to come to the poor monk’s three-acre land...'
A somewhat irritable and irritated voice that obviously belonged to a young man first came from the house and got closer, and soon, as the door was opened, a man in an ugly gray-brown monk robe was wearing a A young man with a shiny bald head and several rows of ring scars appeared in front of Natasha.
'! ! '
Boom! !
However, without waiting for Natasha to introduce herself, she only saw that the other party was taken aback for a moment, and then closed the door quickly?
But fortunately, less than three seconds later, the other party quickly opened the wooden door, and at this time, the other party had already changed into a certain brand of casual clothes that looked heroic and handsome?
"..."
Can you change clothes so quickly? !
Seeing the other party's attire, and thinking about the extremely short time between closing the door and opening the door again, the black widow Natasha couldn't help being a little dazed, wondering how the other party did it.
"!!"
"Hi~! Hello girl... what do you want us to do? Do you want to sell insurance? Don't talk about it. Come in quickly. We have changed our minds. Don't care what you sell. We I bought them all!!"
At this time,
After discovering that a certain 'insurance seller' standing outside the door was actually a charming female elf, a certain monkey that had turned into a human form rushed over quickly, pushing away a certain Just as the bald man was about to speak, he greeted him impatiently.
And, what he said just now has something in it, that is: Even if the other party wants to sell her, he will definitely buy it, because he is really not short of money! !
"Amitabha!"
"This female benefactor, the poor monk's common name is Tang Xiaoseng, and her Dharma name is Sanzang. She is the second disciple of the Tathagata. I don't know why this female benefactor came here to find a poor monk and apprentice?"
A certain monk who called himself Tang Sanzang quietly and forcefully pushed away a troublesome Uncle Monkey who came over, and then calmly pretended to be an eminent monk and said solemnly.
Just now, when he saw that it was such an unbelievably beautiful Miaoman Yujie, and after looking at the perfect bumpy figure under the corset, he became excited and quickly replaced the girl. Wearing an inappropriate monk robe...
Then, he thought of the etiquette he had seen on TV, and hurriedly stepped forward to completely block his Uncle Monkey. While blocking the door, he grabbed the other's hand and gently Kissed each other on the back of the hand.
'It's good, it's good...'
To be honest, Tang Xiaoseng has always felt that the etiquette of these Fanbang savages is really extremely vulgar!
As the saying goes, men and women cannot kiss each other, how can they have the etiquette that strangers and men and women can kiss the back of the hand when they meet? It's really unreasonable, it's insulting to the gentleman!
but……
After all, he wanted to do as the Romans did, so, ahem... Xiaoseng Tang had no choice but to experience it for a while. He couldn't let these foreign barbarians laugh at them.
"..."
what's the situation?
However, the black widow Natasha, who had been stupefied for a long time, finally came back to her senses at this time, and the corners of her mouth twitched, her face was dark, and she snorted almost inaudibly from her nose, she remained calm. He quickly withdrew his hand and rubbed it against the clothes behind him.
'! ? '
'Vald donkey, what do you want to do? ! '
Finding that a certain dead thief wanted to rob his own way, a certain monkey first pulled the other person in, then gnashed his teeth and leaned into the other person's ear and asked in a low voice:
'This is my dish, you give it to my old grandson! ! '
'...'
'Uncle Monkey, don't force the poor monk to recite the curse...'
'snort! '
'The magic spell is useless! My old grandson sees this chick right, and there is nothing to discuss! '
'...'
"The little monk promised not to tell Aunt Jingjing about your going to the nightclub after returning..."
'! ! '
'you dare? ! '
'Young monks never tell lies...'
'Okay! You are ruthless, you are bald! ! '
After agreeing in a few words, as a certain monkey turned around resentfully and went back to the living room to continue watching his TV, a certain bald young monk smiled kindly, and stood gracefully at the man who was taller than himself. Those goblins I have seen are even more like goblins in front of the 'banshees'.
"..."
really!
After seeing the performance of the two, Natasha, the black widow, sighed secretly.
Because, based on the reports and records of the two of them in the past few days, she can already basically guess what kind of goods these two guys are! And if they, the Xiong Dun Bureau, knew that the other party was such a virtuous guy, I am afraid that she should have been the one to do it when they first contacted a few days ago! But, it doesn't seem too late to replace her now?
Anyway, she is very handy to deal with this kind of guy, even if the other party has some kind of powerful ability, she has already experienced many battles.
"I said this little handsome guy!"
"Could it be that you are going to stop at the door all the time and not let me go in first?"
Natasha is not here to sell insurance, and she believes that the other party should have seen it long ago, so she didn't explain, just hugged her arms and looked at an overly "coquettish" monk in front of her. road.
Yes, Natasha has seen many kinds of men, but this is the first time she has seen a man like this creamy boy with a hint of 'coquettish' aura! A guy like this, presumably the average woman can't resist easily, right? But it's a pity, she Natasha is not an ordinary woman, she is very disgusted with such a creamy niche, very disgusted with this kind of man who is more 'female' than a woman! !
"Amitabha!"
"It's the little monk who was rude, this female benefactor, please come in!"
With a slight smile, Tang Xiaoseng took a step back after pronouncing the Buddha's name and stepped aside, watching the other party walk in step by step with his tight big buttocks twisting, and let the other party start to walk in their rented building. There are not many days to wander and look around in the living room of the house.
At this time, in addition to the opponent's butt and Miaoman's figure, the weapon on the opponent's waist, the dagger in the shoe cover, the short blade on the glove, and the small objects of unknown purpose hidden in the hair, all kinds of seemingly Tang Xiaoseng has already seen the vicious murder weapon! However, whether it is Tang Xiaoseng himself or a monkey pretending to be watching TV, they are not the kind of ordinary people who have no power to restrain demons, so they definitely don't care about such irrelevant details.
'Hello! '
‘Little monk! It's not good to let her in without asking, right? And this lonely man and widow...'
Taking advantage of the opportunity when the other party was looking at their house, and the moment a certain thief walked past the sofa, a certain monkey grabbed the other party's sleeve and pulled it in front of him.
'Amitabha…...'
‘Uncle Monkey, you worry too much! It's not like you don't know who the little monk is, let alone a fake fairy, even if she is a real fairy, as a teacher, there are plenty of ways to subdue her! go! Go outside and try to buy some delicious food and drink, remember, be decent! '
'Maybe, we will keep her for dinner later? '
After slapping the opponent's monkey paw away, Tang Xiaoseng refuted his uncle Monkey with a smile, and ordered to the opponent in a commanding manner, lest the other party spoil his good deed.
After all, a man and a woman are indeed lonely men and widows, but two men and a woman are not counted, so a dead monkey with no winks is obviously superfluous.
'! ! '
'Why? After learning the scriptures, you kid still dare to order my old grandson? don't go! don't go! ! '
'Really not going? '
'Don't go to death! ! '
'...'
Seeing that the other party just walked away, lying down on the large sofa and pretending to scratch the soles of his feet while watching TV, Tang Xiaoseng had no choice but to think about the bread and frozen steamed buns in the refrigerator. He really didn't have anything else, he didn't even have tea fruit, so he could only grit his teeth and plan to talk to the other party first.
"..."
"Ha! You two, your place is really unique..."
After looking around, Natasha shook her head, and then sat down at the small coffee table in front without treating herself as an outsider at all, and then said to the little bald man who couldn't wait to sit opposite her.
Of course, all the "chic" and so on are her excuses, because this kind of place where two men live looks messy and extremely dirty, the floor seems to have not been mopped for several days, and there are all kinds of food on the coffee table. The leftover fast food boxes were also thrown everywhere, and if it wasn't for the mission, she might not have come here. How could this be considered 'chic'?
"Amitabha……"
"I don't know where this beautiful lady is from. This year, Gui Geng, what's the point of coming to the humble house?"
Tang Xiaoseng proclaimed the Buddha's name, then squinted at the opponent's body and face full of evil, murderous and evil spirits, and sighed secretly!
Obviously, this kind of goblin who caused harm to the world must be the target that Tang Xiaoseng must subdue and influence! The little monk said: "If I don't go to hell, who will go to hell?" Therefore, Duhua, a goblin who is destined to cause harm to the world and cause endless murder, still dare not bother his uncle Monkey to deal with it.
"!!"
How dare you ask your age?
You know, her age is one of the highest-level secrets of the Bureau of Bear Shield, and her age is also tabooed by Natasha, the black widow!
Therefore, her eyelids couldn't help but twitched, and after her affection for the other party plummeted to the bottom, she took a deep breath and felt that it's better not to talk too much with the seductive bald head in front of her today. More, or is it better to directly cut into the topic?
"Okay, let's stop talking nonsense!"
"I'm not selling insurance, and you're not ordinary people. Let's just talk about it today! But, before that, I think you might know this person, right?"
Natasha glanced a few meters away, lying on the sofa pretending to be watching TV, but the corner of her eyes was always looking at the No. 2 target, and then, she suddenly stretched out her hand from a slot in her buttocks. He took out a small photo, put it lightly on the table, and pushed it in front of the little bald head who seemed to be the leader.
"!!"
"That brat?!"
Sun Wukong sat up from the sofa in a jerk, and said bitterly with some gritted teeth! Obviously, he recognized the other party, and he didn't like the little girl in the photo very much! !
"Amitabha……"
"I don't know what is the relationship between this female benefactor and Aunt Anne in the photo? Where is she now?"
After being stunned for a while, Tang Xiaoseng used a Buddha's name to slightly cover up the trace of surprise and doubt in his heart.
He did recognize the little girl in that photo. Of course, the relationship between him and the other party should be called aunt and grandma according to their seniority... However, after he started babbling and had a great talent When Yidi started to remember things, he would call the other party's sister or aunt more often.
"very good!"
"It's good to know!"
Natasha nodded, but she didn't tell the other party her relationship with that little guy and where he is now, because even she didn't know the latter question.
"Let me introduce myself first: My name is Natasha Romanov, and I am an agent of Bear and Shield Bureau. You should have heard of our Bear and Shield Bureau, right? Two days ago, my two colleagues tried to contact I passed you, but you ran away!"
"That's why I came here today!"
After finishing speaking, Natasha raised her eyes and glanced at the middle-aged man who came over and seemed a little unhappy, because she didn't know why the other party was so disgusted with their little guy, but This bald guy over here has another attitude?
"My old grandson wants to correct me! We didn't run away at that time, we just didn't want to conflict with you officials..."
"snort!"
After finishing speaking, a certain monkey glanced at the photo again, and found the hateful smile on it that was still fresh in his memory. After realizing that he did not admit his mistake, he snorted coldly.
"Similarly, we don't want to conflict with you!"
"However, you probably don't know yet? This little girl, she is one of the executives and founders of our Bear Shield Bureau. Maybe, we might be a family?"
Natasha tapped twice on the desktop where the photo was located, and patiently spoke in the other party's oriental grammar.
"!!"
"You are Aunt Anne's subordinates? That's great, of course we are a family, can we not be a family? Sister, we must have a good chat today!"
After the shock at the beginning, Tang Xiaoseng quickly returned to his previous sloppy look, stood up hastily, and then sat down next to the other party without seeing anything, just touching the other party's arm sat down.
"Tsk!"
This thief is bald! !
A certain monkey put on a dark face, and sat directly on the seat vacated by the other party. He planned to sit here and listen to what the female fairy wanted to say for a while.
"..."
Glancing at a certain butter boy on a stick, Natasha grinned, and moved her seat calmly. Because, what she prefers is the kind of muscular hunk, such as the US team or the Hulk, and it will definitely not be the creamy niche around her who has whiter, tenderer and more delicate skin than her! !
"Tell me about it!"
"Who are you guys? Where are you from? I need to understand your origins first!"
Now that some topics have been discussed, and since it is confirmed that the other party is indeed not an enemy, and there may be some connection, Natasha calmly pressed a button on the multi-tool on her left wrist to turn on the After picking up the recording device, he began to ask questions.
"Amitabha……"
"Female benefactor, didn't the little monk just say that?!"
"??"
"what did you say?"
"The poor monk's common name is Tang Xiaoseng. He came from the Eastern Song Dynasty. His Dharma name is Sanzang, also known as Tang Sanzang! He is the second disciple of the Tathagata Buddha. He is the reincarnation of the golden cicada. Leiyin Temple was conferred the title of Zhantan Merit Buddha, and he is currently single..."
"As for the sharp-mouthed monkey-cheeked man opposite the benefactor, his legal name is Sun Wukong, so don't mention his layman's name! He used to be a petty official who herded horses in the heavenly court, but now he is the poor man of the poor monk, and he has been honored by the poor monk. , was awarded the title of Dou Conquer Buddha... But the female benefactor can ignore him, because he has already married, and there is a lady from Hedong Lion Roar in the family, who is the second disciple of the Pansi Great Immortal Seat. Never mess with it!"
Tang Xiaoseng completely ignored the horrible black face of a certain monkey, and directly said everything that should be said and what should not be said, and it was the kind that didn't give the slightest bit of face?
"..."
"Do you think I haven't read "Journey to the West"? Tang Sanzang is obviously from the Tang Dynasty, shouldn't he come from the "Dongtu Tang"?"
No matter what the other party said is true or false, Natasha firmly believes that the description in "Journey to the West" she read, Tang Sanzang is indeed from the Tang Dynasty, and she will not believe those inexplicable things that the other party fabricated so casually. words!
Return Tang Sanzang, return Sun Wukong, do you really think she, the black widow, is easy to fool? !
"Amitabha……"
"The benefactor misunderstood! I have read "Journey to the West" in the past two days, but I dare to use the name of Buddha to vouch for that Tang monk written in that book is not like a little monk at all! Moreover, those female fairies also Not as bad as it says in the book?"
"Also, Sister Bone Demon is very gentle. If he dares to hit that wild monkey, let alone three times, he dares to do a few rounds with him after beating the poor monk once. Is it true that the poor monk's Zen stick is just for display?! "
"Those seven spider sisters are also the same, don't you hear: Cuju is on the spot in March, and the fairy wind blows down Su Chanjuan. Sweat is stained with powder, flowers are covered with dew, dust is stained with moth eyebrows, and willows are covered with smoke. Green sleeves hang down and cage jade shoots, The silk skirt pulls the dew golden lotus obliquely. After a few kicks, the fluffy and precious bun is deflected?"
"Little monk, I miss you so much..."
"Also! Xie Zijing and the king of the Xiliang Women's Kingdom are good friends. The poor monk has the most say in this matter, but what kind of nonsense is written in the book?"
Tang Xiaoseng, who was talking about it, began to protest openly, and began to hold grievances for himself and his confidant goblins.
"but……"
"The descriptions of the second uncle Zhu and the third uncle Sha are the most accurate. The dead pig is surprisingly lazy, and the third uncle is bald. Don’t save him, but turn around and run away?”
"It really doesn't make sense!!"
"correct!"
"Finally, let me make a correction: the poor monk is actually not riding a white dragon horse, but the little donkey under the seat of my master Pansi Daxian. She is a female, and she is also a goblin! However, she has not come with us yet. To the side of your foreign country..."
In one breath, Tang Xiaoseng said so much in front of the stunned Xiongdun Bureau agent Natasha. Of course, given the unattractive expression of a certain Uncle Monkey sitting across from him, he didn't dare to say some scandals about the other party, such as hooking up with his sister-in-law Princess Iron Fan?
"..."
"You think I'll believe it?"
Seeing that the other party was bragging about a lot of inexplicable things, and it didn't sound like they were telling the truth, Natasha pulled it down with a professional smile on her face. Because, she felt that no matter what the agents of the Bear Shield Bureau investigated or what she asked now, they were all fake!
"Amitabha……"
"The little monk just said that everything is true, why doesn't the benefactor believe it?"
After sighing helplessly, Tang Xiaoseng didn't understand, he was obviously honest with each other, why did the other party not believe it? Sure enough, the ancients did not bully him, and this is exactly what the saying "he set his heart on the bright moon, but the bright moon shines on the ditch"!
"As far as we know, the myths and legends in "Journey to the West" are all completely fictitious, and the gods, demons and ghosts in it have never appeared..."
Natasha looked at the two dishonest guys in front of her with a sneer, and began to think about countermeasures. She felt that she had to find a way to get them to confess honestly.
"Amitabha….."
"The Thor in the Avengers in your Bear Shield Bureau, isn't he also a mythical figure? Why can he appear, but I can't wait?"
"!!"
"You guys still know him. It seems that you know a lot about us recently, don't you?"
Natasha was a little surprised, and was suddenly speechless...
"certainly!"
"The poor monk is not talented, but he has a lot of experience in mind reading! Therefore, the poor monk already roughly knows what the female benefactor is thinking!"
If he doesn't know how to read minds, how could he, Tang Xiaoseng, hook up with so many goblins and become "good teachers and helpful friends" with so many goddesses, fairies and monsters?
"!!"
Swish!
"You actually know Professor X's telepathic ability?!"
This time Natasha was quite frightened, thinking that the little bald head in front of her was the same as the old bald head of Professor X, who could read other people's thoughts and memories without physical contact, and at the same time he could read other people's thoughts and memories through other With the ability to deprive and control other people's thinking and at the same time control their ability to move, she stood up directly, and took several steps back in a row in fright.
If the other party really has the ability similar to that of Professor X, I am afraid that she has revealed many secrets of the Bear Shield Bureau and exposed all of herself to the other party! Of course, what is even more frightening is that she is afraid that the other party will control her because of this, and that is the most deadly thing!
Sure enough, what that little guy Anne said before is really true, no one with a bald head is a good person, whether it is Professor X or the bald head in front of him who claims to be closed, or their Mr. Director?
"Good, good, good..."
"Female benefactor, don't be nervous, the poor monk really has no malicious intentions, and the poor monk is really a Tang monk...or can it be said to be a Song monk? Also, the poor monk's mind reading skills are not as good as you think..."
"Forget it, verbal explanations are useless after all, Uncle Monkey, you should change your mind and show her, otherwise she will definitely not believe it!"
Having no choice but to explain a few sentences, seeing that the vigilance on the other party's face became more and more intense, and he was about to take out a guy to fight them, Tang Xiaoseng had no choice but to turn his head and sit on the opposite side of the seat to watch the play and never said anything. Said a certain monkey who made a sound.
"Why?"
"You won't change yourself?!"
A monkey seems to be reluctant to be ordered by a thief, so it looks a little hesitant.
"Amitabha!"
"The little monk was born like this, Uncle Monkey, how do you want the little monk to change?!"
"..."
"Okay, okay! I'm afraid of you!!"
puff!
Thinking about it, it seems to be true, and seeing that the woman was indeed a little too nervous, Sun Dasheng, who wanted to ease the atmosphere a little, thought about it, then sighed helplessly and stood up.
"The Great Sage Equaling Heaven, the Monkey King and the Monkey King who fought and defeated the Buddha, is here!!"
"How about it, little lady Natasha, does my grandson look majestic and domineering?!"
Soon, someone transformed into a beautiful monkey king about two meters tall, wearing golden armor with locks, a purple gold crown with phoenix wings, walking on cloud shoes with lotus root silk on his feet, and holding a golden cudgel in his hand. Then he appeared in the living room of this house, and the Ruyi Golden Cudgel in his hand just touched the ground lightly, and easily pierced a cracked deep hole in the thick wooden floor.
"this……"
"What about you?!"
Seeing the change in the other party, Natasha, who was hesitant to pull out her weapon and retreat first, was completely shocked. Then, she stared dumbfounded at the middle-aged man who looked like a pooping monkey and the man who slowly appeared. The little bald head was dressed in the difficult taupe monk robe before.
"..."
"You... are you really the characters in the mythical story "Journey to the West"?!"
For a long time, Natasha, who was not an ordinary person and knew a lot about the mysteries of this world, after thinking about the God of Thunder in their Bear Shield Bureau and the legendary Odin and other gods, she suddenly felt that now It seems that it is not unacceptable to run out of the mission in another fairy tale?
"Replacement as fake!"
"Female benefactor, can we sit down and continue talking? It's not the first time you've seen a fairy, so can't you just talk to the little monk with a normal heart like your God of Thunder?"
"..."
"Then how did you come to us? Why have we never found any traces of you before?"
"Amitabha! This matter is beyond words..."
"To be precise, we are not from this world. The four of us, master and apprentice, entered this world by mistake!"
"By mistake?"
"How did it come? A spaceship? Or a spell? Or a portal?!"
Natasha, who was walking slowly, suddenly asked expectantly, because she felt that she seemed to have discovered some secrets that SHIELD had been trying to figure out why these people appeared in their world! Possibly, that would be helpful in helping them out of their current predicament and be able to deal with the increasingly chaotic situation?
"neither!"
"what is that?"
"The little monk's own. In the blink of an eye, the four monks, master and disciples, discovered that we have come to this world for no reason..."
"really do not know……"
"I really don't know, the Buddha can testify!"
"..."
"Is he really Monkey King?"
"Female benefactor, can his monkey appearance deceive people?"
"Then can you change seventy-two? Are you really suppressed at the foot of Wuzhi Mountain for five hundred years?!"
"!!"
"Get out! My old grandson has no time to talk to you!"
"Female benefactor, I have already said that it is better to have no books than to believe in books. He was not subdued by the Buddha, but was turned into thick water by the Yangzhi jade bottle of sister Guanyin!"
"And Guanyin?!"
"..."
Finally, after gaining mutual trust, Natasha sat down again and communicated with the legendary Monkey King Monkey King and Tang Sanzang at close range.
After chatting for a full hour, she thoroughly understood what she wanted to know, and Natasha, who was somewhat satisfied, quietly gave a thief monk who didn't know when to sit next to her and put her waist around her gently. Pushed aside and stood up from the seat.
"Okay, two!"
"I have written down your words. Since you are indeed relatively decent people and there is no danger, I will report your information and get you a new ID card as soon as possible! At that time, you will No need to use spells to confuse others!"
"besides!"
"Please don't pick leaves and turn them into money to cheat people... Didn't you find out? The tree in your yard and the one in your neighbor's house are about to be picked by you, others I have complained to the community several times!"
Before she was about to leave, Natasha told the report she had seen before and some things that needed the attention of the two of them.
"!!"
"Amitabha, good and good..."
"Female benefactor, you have discovered such a trivial matter?!"
"Hey! Dead monkey! Uncle Monkey~! As the saying goes, rabbits don't even eat grass by the side of their nests, so why don't you pick other places?!"
Hearing that the two of them used leaves to turn money into money, this Natasha shook it out, and a certain Tang Xiaoseng, who was still smiling, immediately changed his face, and then used a painful expression to face a certain person who was not good at doing things. The monkey scolded angrily.
You know, the two of them are true Buddhas!
The scandal of the two dignified Buddhas using leaves to turn into banknotes was actually known by the banshee in front of me, and it seems to have been recorded in the database of the other government's Xiongdun Bureau. If this kind of thing gets out in the future How did it happen? !
"My grandson is a monkey, not a rabbit!!"
"Damn bald, my old grandson is your monkey uncle, don't yell like a monkey all day long, no matter how big or small! If you have the ability, you can change the money yourself, don't spend my grandson's money!!"
Turning his head and looking out of the yard, he found that the two trees in the yard were indeed a little bald. A certain monkey blushed for a while, but fortunately, his face remained red after he turned into a monkey. Yes, plus it was covered by thick hair, so he quickly put that little thing behind him.
"you!!"
"Good, good, good..."
"Female benefactor, I made you laugh. The poor monk and the disciples are not strict. It's really a sin..."
Thinking about how I really didn't spend less money these days, Tang Xiaoseng, who felt that he seemed a little unreasonable, could only proclaim the Buddha's name in embarrassment, and after forgiving his evil deeds in his heart, he smiled as if to apologize, and looked at that A slightly unexpected female benefactor.
"..."
"Forget it! Let's just settle your business. Our Bear Shield Bureau has no way to send you back for the time being. You can continue to live here for the time being! But remember, don't use your abilities to hurt others at will. And don't mess around with money anymore, we will pay you a salary every month!"
"Of course, if you want, you can also find a job yourself?"
In fact, Natasha does not object to these people changing money, but the time for the other party to change money is really too short, as short as two or three days, and as long as less than a week, the original shape will be revealed. Those shops and banks have always thought it was A thief!
Then, that matter began to be reported layer by layer, and finally a case was filed in the Xiongdun Bureau. If they hadn't merged with the investigation and found the truth in the end, they in the Xiongdun Bureau almost thought that there was some abnormality. The human race is using that hateful mutation ability to make trouble!
"Amitabha……"
Tang Xiaoseng was noncommittal and did not dare to agree to the other party, because it is easy to go from frugality to extravagance, but it is difficult to go from extravagance to frugality. They are used to being extravagant, how could they change easily in this colorful world?
"Female benefactor, I don't know if I can show my face and go out with the monk to have dinner together?"
Seeing that the two of them had a happy conversation after finishing their work, Tang Xiaoseng felt that their relationship could go a step further?
"..."
"It seems that our agent's comment on you, a monk, is indeed correct. Do you really want to pick me up?"
Natasha laughed tremblingly, making a certain monk's eyes almost straighten.
"Amitabha……"
Tang Xiaoseng, who was playing secretly, proclaimed the Buddha's name in a low voice, and began to think about where he should go later.
"but……"
"Maybe you don't know yet? When I was on a mission before, many men like you were killed by me quietly, so they were all called black widows. None of the men who fell into my hands ended well. Yes! How about it, bald boy, do you still want to tease me now?"
Smiling coquettishly, Natasha took two steps forward, stretched out her hand to caress the other's cheek that was smoother and more tender than her own, and then teased the other party after suppressing the inexplicable feeling in her heart.
"Good, good, good..."
"Female benefactor, please don't worry, the little monk attained Bodhi after taking scriptures from the West. He has a body that is indestructible and invulnerable to all evil, and because of his profound merits, he was conferred the title of Zhantan Gongde Buddha. The mere 'Kefu appearance' is probably not enough. Little monk!!"
What about Black Widow?
In Tang Xiaoseng's world, as long as there are goblins, he will surrender them all! As long as it is a goblin, there is nothing he can't subdue, so he is very confident! !
"!!"
"You are the only Kefu!!"
Due to the needs of her profession, Natasha, who has an in-depth study of oriental culture, spat at the other party, and then pushed away two steps. After a long time, she held back and took out her gun to try to shoot the other party in the head. , After seeing if the opponent's indestructible body was a fake impulse, he decided that it would be better to leave here as soon as possible?
Because she is Natasha Romanov, she is the Black Widow, she is the most powerful elite agent of Bear Shield Bureau, and she is also an Avenger, so there is no doubt that they are the agents who control their emotions One of the most basic skills.
"..."
"Goodbye you two, remember what I just said, as long as you don't mess around, our Bear Shield Bureau won't make it too difficult for you, so let's do it for now..."
call!
After speaking, she breathed a sigh of relief, and once again cast a big wink at a bald cream monk, Natasha turned her head and walked towards the gate.
"Amitabha, good and good..."
Looking at the other party's back, looking at the other party's perfect figure under the tight leather jacket, and then unconsciously aimed at the other party's buttocks and locked it, Tang Xiaoseng opened his mouth, but in the end he still didn't say anything to keep the other party. It was just a low voice proclaiming a Buddha's name.
"Tsk tsk!"
"Little Monk, it seems that the chick doesn't like your little boy! How about it, do you need Uncle Monkey's help to take her down?"
A certain monkey, holding a remote control and turning back into a human form to watch TV, turned around after hearing the roar of a car engine coming from outside and getting farther and farther away, with that obscene, Only a man can understand the eyes and teased.
"It's okay, it's okay, the future will last forever!"
"Amitabha……"
It's not a good thing to be too hasty, besides, knowing that the other party is from the Bear Shield Bureau, knowing that the other party is related to his Aunt Annie, and knowing the contact information of the other party, would he still be afraid that there will be no chance?
"..."
"Uncle Monkey, the little monk is a little hungry, should we find something to sacrifice to the Temple of the Five Viscera?"
Although he can't easily starve to death without eating, but if there is a delicious meal to eat, Tang Xiaoseng will definitely not refuse it!
What's more, he is not picky about food, he doesn't avoid meat and fish, he doesn't abstain from drinking and sex, he eats whatever he wants, as long as it is delicious food, he is absolutely good at serving him, and he will definitely not be as obsessed as written in some specious travel notes. Eat Vegetarian!
Because, even in fruits and rice noodles, there are countless lives, and even in the air we breathe, there are countless bacteria or viruses. Are they not life? "One flower, one world, one leaf, one bodhi" is not just a thought.
so,
The so-called abstinence from meat and meat is completely self-deception, and it is doomed to fail to attain Bodhi... After all, if you practice Buddhism, you must first cultivate your mind, even if you have to restrain your own desires, you are destined to be unable to achieve consummation. Of course, this is Tang Xiaoseng's one-Buddha opinion, and he doesn't care what other people think!
"!!"
"My old grandson is not free now, won't you make a phone call or use your smartphone to order a takeaway first?!"
Sun Dasheng, who was lying back on the sofa, didn't want to move now, he just wanted to stay at home and watch TV, not going anywhere!
"But……"
"The little monk has no money..."
"Tsk!"
"Okay, you call to order food first, and my old grandson will go outside and pull a few branches back later, and then we will have money!"
It is impossible not to pull the branches, and it is even more impossible to find a job. He has become a Buddha, and it is impossible for this monkey to find a job... So now, Sun Dasheng thinks that according to the current state of the two of them , before the salary of the Bear Shield Bureau is in place, it seems that the only way to maintain the basic life is to turn the leaves into money by magic?
"this……"
"But didn't the lady from the government's family and the benefactor from the Xiongdun Bureau just say that we are not allowed to tear the branches in our yard and the house next door?"
Apparently, Tang Xiaoseng, who heard that his Uncle Monkey had never changed his mind and wanted to turn branches into money, was a little hesitant, because it would be fine if someone didn't find out about that kind of thing, but now, if someone finds out, he would go for it. Is it a little bad to pull the leaves?
Although, using leaves to change money is the most trouble-free and most Zen-like... However, if it is changed to using toilet paper, it seems that it is not unacceptable?
"!!"
"My grandson pulls the branches of his own tree, what's the matter with her?!"
"Amitabha……"
"Uncle Monkey is right! But, the leaves of our house are very protruding now, if we tear them down, only the branches will be left..."
"Then talk about the neighbors!"
"..."
"Uncle Monkey, they have complained many times..."
"rest assured!"
"It's a big deal, my old grandson went to the park in the northeast to talk, there should be no one to complain about my old grandson!!"
"Good, good, good..."
"Since that's the case, it's settled! Little Monk, I want to order a luxurious meal! Besides hamburger, grilled chicken and French fries, what else do you want, Uncle Monkey?"
Seeing that the discussion was completed, Tang Xiaoseng immediately picked up the receiver and dialed the number he was already familiar with.
The mortals in this world have become more and more powerful. He discovered that they are almost omnipotent from heaven to earth, isn't it? Even the kind of tall clairvoyance and smooth ears that only Heavenly Court could use in the Song Dynasty, they can now be spread to every household!
"let me see……"
"Or, let's have a few more of that kind of pancake!"
"What pie?"
"That's the kind of Bodhisattva with meat, the Bodhisattva with beef stuffing!!"
"Amitabha! Good, good, good!"
"Uncle Monkey, I must correct you, that is not a bodhisattva, and a bodhisattva cannot eat it. The one we have eaten several times is called pizza..."
"..."
"Okay, okay! Just know what it means, you little thief is really noisy!!"
"..."
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