Let's Talk About some Things...

In fact, I have noticed my abnormality since December last year. I used to write slowly, and sometimes Calvin also struggled to write, but no matter what, the feeling of rushing to the draft is painful and happy. As long as I devote myself to the story, I can clearly feel the joy that writing a story brings to me.

But since December last year, writing manuscripts is no longer a pleasure for me. I feel that every word and sentence I write cannot satisfy myself, and I even start to get tired of the stories I write and the industry of online writing.

This feeling began to increase in January this year, often sitting in front of the computer for hours, unable to get a word out. In fact, I have an outline and a detailed outline, and I know very well how to write the next content, but I just can't write it out. It's like there is water in the storage tank, and the faucet is turned on, but I don't know where in the middle is faulty, but a drop of water cannot come out.

Since January, my condition has gotten worse and worse. Not only do I hate writing stories, but I even develop self-loathing. And occasionally, I have the idea of ​​deleting all the manuscripts, all the outlines, and settings in the past nine years. I want to smash my notebook and quit the web writing industry completely.

It was not until the end of February that I realized that I might have a problem with my mental state, and then I contacted a psychiatrist who was introduced by a friend. As expected, the diagnosis was mild depression, which is now on medication.

I didn't want to talk about this at first. After all, this disease is a mental disease, so it's not very pleasant to say it. But the update problem in the past few months always owes everyone an explanation, especially for the friends who really like the book "Monster Paradise". After careful consideration, I decided to say it, at least to let everyone know what happened and not wait for no reason.

In fact, I still don't know why I have this disease. But let’s be safe when it comes, I will try my best to overcome the disease, and I will try my best to write the story with my heart. You don't have to worry about me, the state is much better now than in February. If it is updated, it may not be stable for half a month, and it should be better next month.

Well, that's all.

Finally, thank you all who have never left (*￣︶￣)