Chapter 1287 Youth Comes Naturally

According to Lin Nian's personality, he is self-confident with a hint of inferiority. The self-confidence comes from his own abilities and personality, while the inferiority comes from his family and living conditions. Lu Mingfei actually sympathizes with this point. He also has some low self-esteem as he relies on others. This is a psychological problem that children with problems in their native families will suffer from when they grow up.

What such people need most when they grow up is recognition. Half of this recognition comes from their own efforts, and the other half comes from the affirmation of people around them. Lu Mingfei avoids the negative feelings caused by his inferiority complex by showing off and escaping. Emotions, but Lin Nian was different. He wanted to prove his worth too much to deny and fight against his inferiority complex. In this process, he undoubtedly got help from an important person.

On those special days, in high school, a stage of life where comparisons and value sentiments are strongest, on sunny days when young people have the most sensitive thinking and the most lofty ideas, Lin Nian, who was still a persistent and stupid boy, got The most recognition comes from the little goddess.

The sense of recognition that Lin Nian got from Su Xiaoqiang during that time was simply overwhelming. Under the pursuit of the little goddess, almost no one made fun of or ridiculed Lin Nian's family background, because when a person cannot get something, Others can ridicule him for this shortcoming, but when he can easily get it but actively refuses it, this shortcoming seems to become dispensable and cannot be a point of attack.

Maybe Lin Nian was also very grateful to Su Xiaoqiang during that time, right? My biggest inferiority complex was stepped on to the deepest level by that girl. At the age when I should be proud and confident, I could be unscrupulously proud and confident.

Lu Mingfei turned his head and looked at Su Xiaoqiang in a daze, and Su Xiaoqiang seemed to have noticed his gaze. He stopped licking his fingertips, looked up and asked maliciously, "Why are you staring at me? You didn't lick yours." hand?"

"Oh, no." Lu Mingfei subconsciously put the remaining unlicked thumb into his mouth and said, "I was thinking... forget it, it's nothing."

Su Xiaoqiang wiped the saliva marks on his fingers without leaving any trace, and stared at the boy and narrowed his eyes, feeling that he was definitely thinking about something very wrong just now.

"That's right, little goddess."

"Why did you call me this nickname? Are you trying to blame me?" Su Xiaoqiang tilted his head and looked at Lu Mingfei, thinking that he didn't seem to have offended him, right?

"What is yin and yang strange energy? Haven't we always called you like this?" Lu Mingfei felt a little confused.

"That was before, let's forget it now." Su Xiaoqiang said lightly.

Lu Mingfei paused for a moment, then felt relieved.

But he still smiled and shook his head, "Actually, it's okay to call you little goddess now, but if you don't like it, forget it."

"So what question do you want to ask me?" Su Xiaoqiang dropped the topic.

"What do you think you would be doing now if you hadn't come to Cassel College?"

"I'm studying in other universities, what else can I do?"

"what do you think?"

"How about what?" Su Xiaoqiang raised his eyes and looked at Lu Mingfei, "If you have any questions, just ask them. Don't beat around the bush. I don't like guessing."

"Actually, what I want to ask is, have you ever regretted being exposed to these weird things?" Lu Mingfei held the metal seats on both sides with both hands and looked up at the train roaring and sprinting in the dark monster gullet. The deep darkness and white light that flashed outside the window were blurry and distorted.

"What does regretful contact mean? I don't understand what you mean." Su Xiaoqiang asked after a moment of silence.

"What I mean is that if you had not come to Kassel College and had not suddenly entered that alley that day and encountered those unlucky things, you would most likely be admitted to a good domestic university, or your father would have spent money to buy a foreign university. The Ivy League position allows you to study abroad and then return to China to develop well, right? Whether you are at home or abroad, you can still be the little goddess you were before, not like you are now."

"Same now? Am I bad now?" Su Xiaoqiang asked.

After saying that, she looked down at herself again, and realized, oh, it seemed to be really bad. She was as dirty as a miner who had escaped from a mine. Her skin, which had been cared for with milk and essential oils, was full of cracks. The dust and dirt were almost soaked into the wounds and skin, which made her unable to help herself. He raised his hand and wiped the dirty back of his hand.

"It's not that it's bad, it's just that I can obviously live a better life." Lu Mingfei shrugged and said it. In fact, he rarely said such straightforward words to others. In the past, the only candidate was Lin Nian. and Fingel, "Although I don't know what you are thinking about every day, I can see that you are under a lot of pressure. You and Lin Nian, you two have almost never loosened your eyebrows in my mind. You are worried every day." As worried as the day before the end of the world."

"Have you ever thought that if you hadn't come to Cassel College, your life might have been better? Of course, I don't mean to replace those good days with your current relationship with Lin Nian. After all, you can do it at other universities. Contact Lin Nian, he also likes you. If you persevere a little bit, maybe you can wait until he graduates and then marry him back home? "

Su Xiaoqiang lowered his head slightly, shook his head after a moment, and asked instead, without answering the question, "What about you? You can obviously live a better life, but now you are still going through life and death. To tell the truth, in my opinion, you are no longer the same as before. Alone, you screamed at Lin Nian for a long time even when your fingers were bleeding, and you asked him to bandage your fingers, as if you were about to die. What now? :It’s okay, just a small problem!”

"Lu Mingfei, do you think life like this is better than before?" Su Xiaoqiang asked softly.

Lu Mingfei opened his mouth, scratched his head, and sighed, "That's not what you said anymore. It is actually inevitable for me to enter Kassel College. I was already on Norma's admission notice, and Lin Nian just He came to pick me up, so it seems to be okay.”

"But this doesn't mean you will definitely become the person you are now." Su Xiaoqiang turned his head and looked at the black air whizzing past the window and said calmly, "Although you used a lot of questions to cover up and kept adding premises to avoid the important and the trivial, But what you really want to ask me is, do I regret following Lin Nian into the weird things here?"

"Yes." Lu Mingfei nodded.

"What about you? Do you regret listening to Lin Nian's advice, being the leader, fighting with your life and getting injured in the end?" Su Xiaoqiang looked at his tattered and bloody appearance and asked.

"How do you say this? In fact, my situation is somewhat different from yours. You insist on saying that I listen to Lin Nian's opinion or something. It seems that he has nothing to do with me, uh..." Lu Mingfei started scratching his head again, his scalp was not working. It was itchy, and my brain was a little itchy. I couldn't scratch my brain through my hair, scalp and skull, so the more I scratched, the more itchy I became, and finally I gave up.

"I don't know." Lu Ming replied nonchalantly.

This kind of escapes the problem.

"Then I don't know the answer to the question you asked me." Su Xiaoqiang looked at Lu Mingfei and smiled.

She rarely smiled. Lu Mingfei was slightly stunned when he saw her smile, and then he suddenly smiled and said, "Actually, it's not bad. Do you think you are no longer a little goddess when you come to Kassel College?" Everyone still calls you little goddess behind your back, that’s fine.”

"Really? Why didn't I know?" Su Xiaoqiang was stunned for a moment.

Lu Mingfei folded his hands and tilted his head, closing his eyes and falling asleep, deliberately not answering the question.

He actually knew that Su Xiaoqiang already had the answer to his question just now, and it was okay whether the other party said it or not. This stall did not say it directly, which left him with an uncertainty in the exchange of questions. room.

If Lu Mingfei's answer is uncertain, but the other party's answer is affirmative without hesitation, does that mean that Lu Mingfei is indecisive and unhappy in terms of consciousness, friendship, and many aspects? So she also answered "I don't know", and Lu Mingfei also answered "I don't know" and ended the topic.

Lu Mingfei didn't know whether Su Xiaoqiang had thought of this unnecessary layer, or whether he was deliberately saving face for him. Or maybe he was overthinking it? Why do you think about these messy things?

He was in a trance while listening to the rumble of the subway. Was he so upset that he was scared? Did he lose his confidence? Did he want to blame something for the impending failure?

The question he asked Su Xiaoqiang, was he really asking Su Xiaoqiang instead of asking himself?

He didn't know, his mind was a little messy, and his hands hanging by his sides were hanging helplessly. The dried blood in his nails fell off gently with the vibration of the bench, and rolled onto the iron chair, shattering and falling.

"Get some rest. I don't know what troubles we will encounter on Line 8. Save some energy first." Su Xiaoqiang said slowly, leaning on the chair, tilting his head and closing his eyes.

"Yeah" Lu Mingfei nodded, but did not close his eyes to rest. He just leaned against the glass window of the train, feeling the vibration of the subway running in the tunnel, and his eyes slanted forward and forward along the dark tunnel. Until the place is drowned in darkness.

—

Actually.

You can't say that.

What does it mean that if you don't listen to Lin Nian's opinion, your life will be better than now? Lin Nian told him that he was originally on Norma's admission list, and Hilborn Jean Angers had also been eyeing them for a long time. However, Lin Nian's situation was special, so he was approached by Cassel College first. Now, Lu Mingfei has only been stable for less than half a year, and the admission notice has followed. Everything is destined. As usual, his thoughts and opinions are not in his hands, and they are controlled by others, by those he Dominated by superior people whom I don’t know or have never met before.

What did Lin Nian teach him and what advice did he give himself? If it was wrong to just ask him, Lu Ming, to firm up his ideas and get the key to break the shackles, what was right? Would it be a better life to be manipulated by strangers, to assume the identity of the chess pieces in one game after another, to be moved, eaten, or eaten by others? Would that kind of life be better?

Yes, would it be better? Maybe, maybe not. At least I can stop thinking so much, stop taking the initiative to strive for so much, let it develop, and go with the flow. I accept what others give me, and I accept what others slap me. Things always have an ending, named Lu Mingfei. The boy always has a certain ending in that book. What I do now may change that ending, or it may be in vain. But will I regret changing it? Go try it?

Hey, speaking of it, perhaps the most important person to ask Su Xiaoqiang this question is himself.

Lu Mingfei, when that bastard named Lin Nian arrived at the entrance of the cinema by helicopter, should you hold his hand and let him help you fulfill your once manic, uninhibited, unbridled, and unrealistic fantasies of youth!

Will it be better?

Will it be better?

What would Lu Mingfei, who was not in Kassel College and did not make a splash, do? Would his life be more comfortable than it is now? Would he get more than he has now? Love? Friendship? Or more, more other things?

But not everything in life needs to be calculated clearly, and do those things that are worth doing.

He knew this truth.

Lu Mingfei closed his eyes, listening to the rumble of the train, the whistling of the wind, and the vibrations caused by the scalp trembling on the glass in the skull, all like a blender, disrupting those unrealistic ideas into the colorful brain, the colorful floating on the surface intertwined with each other, the rippling ideas, gorgeous like the beautiful light arcs rippling in the eyes when the summer sun shines.

He still couldn't help but fantasize, just as the girl said, if, if there really is such a story, a mediocre, hopeful, and passionate story.

Then everything still has to start from that spring, that sunny spring day, after all, that day is so impressive in his memory.

Whenever he thinks of that day, the memory is like the green creeper growing wildly in the sunshine. He is wearing a white short-sleeved T-shirt and washed-out jeans, standing in the shadow of the green shade and looking up at the traces of the crazy vines, trying to find the shape of his future life from it.

Such a clear memory trace, until many years later, when he looks back, he can still glimpse a trace of it in the fragments of time.

Lu Mingfei closed his eyes and felt a little warm on his face, sleepy, but he didn't dare to fall asleep.

But the warmth was still so comfortable, climbing on his cheeks as time went by, like green vines growing on the wall, the shift of light, the change of temperature, so real, so realistic, it made him palpitate, and he was a little afraid to indulge in it.

"Forget it. I won't sleep anymore, lest I fall asleep and miss the next stop." Lu Mingfei opened his eyes and turned his head to Su Xiaoqiang, but he turned his head and didn't find Su Xiaoqiang, nor did he find his reality.

What he found was a door.

"Su Xiaoqiang." His words stopped in his mouth, together with his thoughts.

In front of him was a big door, a dark blue security door with a red inverted blessing character on it. The cat's eye was broken and full of turbidity, and the bright sunshine outside could be vaguely seen through the round hole in the glass.

Door.

This door.

How could it be here.

His thoughts suddenly cleared, and were washed into a calm lake by the extraordinary reality he saw.

He reached out his hand for some reason, held the door handle, and turned it counterclockwise according to his memory to open the door.

The security door of his aunt's house, where he had lived for 18 years, had a corridor outside the door, which connected the community and that spring day that he could never go back to.

"Squeak." The door opened.

The wind blew in, hitting my face, very cool and green.

—

Lu Mingfei stepped on the threshold with one foot and stood behind the open door with one foot. He held the door handle in his right hand. He looked at the quiet corridor. The spring afternoon sunshine shone in from the window at the end of the corridor, warmly sprinkled on his clean white T-shirt. Ivory white sheets were drying in the corridor. The wind blew the green leaves in the community outside the window, making a rustling sound.

"A box of discounted bagged milk, half a pound of Guangdong sausages, and the new issue of "Mengya" that Mingze wanted. Come back quickly after buying them and cut the celery on the table for me! And go to the property management to see if there is any letter from the United States! Still playing games? You don't care about your own affairs at all! If no one accepts you, can you get into a key university? What's the point of spending so much money on you?"

A familiar yet unfamiliar voice sounded loudly behind him, like a magic sound filling his brain.

Lu Mingfei subconsciously walked out and closed the door behind him. The middle-aged woman's nagging was cut off by the door behind him, as if it was something from another world.

It seemed like a lifetime ago.

"Ah?" He suddenly made a strange sound, echoing in the empty corridor.

The air in the corridor smelled of azalea, very light, slightly astringent, light and pleasant, as if in a spring day in a sea of ​​green flowers.

ps: The big one is coming. Guess why Auntie asked Lu Mingfei to bring "Buds" instead of "Novel Drawing".