Chapter 1700: Two Taboos
The wind outside seems to have weakened, and the rain has also tended to ease. Since there is no electricity and no TV news, no one knows whether the typhoon has passed, or it is just a temporary change.
After listening to Cai Meiwen's narration, everyone finally knew about an unusual event she had experienced, and also understood her difficulties. It can only be said that she thought farther and more carefully than ordinary parents, not only considering the pet's life when it was alive. circumstances, and even took into account how her daughter felt when the pet died.
If it is a lot of big-hearted parents, they must be very open-minded and say that if a pet dies, it will die. For a child, if you are sad for a few days, you forget it. What can happen?
But in fact, every child who has had a pet as a child, even if he only had a pet for a short time, will never forget the sadness and pain when the pet dies when he grows up. The better the relationship between children and pets, the more sad they will be when losing pets. No one can say whether this will have a long-term impact on children's psychology and personality. After all, the human brain and spiritual world are very complicated, full of mysteries like the universe .
Cai Meiwen's experience reminded Zhang Zian of Stephen King's horror "Pet Cemetery", which was adapted twice, and there are some subtle similarities between the two.
In "Pet Cemetery", the mother experienced a terrible death when she was 8 years old. The deceased was her sister, who was tortured by the disease before she died, which left a deep psychological shadow on her, so When the father tried to explain the concept of life and death to his young daughter, he exploded.
The young daughter raised a cat, and regarded the kitten as a treasure, and she was inseparable. One day, the kitten was hit by a passing car and killed when she was out to play. Because she couldn't bear the sadness of her daughter because of the loss of her beloved cat, the father Made a terribly wrong decision...the rest is irrelevant.
Because of the shadow of death when she was a child, Cai Meiwen did not let her daughter keep pets with a short lifespan. She did not want to see the pet die too early and make her daughter grieve. She has the shadow of the heroes and heroines in Stephen King's book .
If it was just horror, starting with horror and ending with horror, it would be no different from the fast-food Internet, but Stephen King, as the king of horror, actually talks about human nature in his books. Take the book "Pet Cemetery" as an example. Under the terrifying appearance, it actually talks about the importance of life and death.
Suppose, after the mother’s elder sister got an incurable disease, the elders knew that the elder sister would die, and explained the correct concept of life and death to the mother in advance, then the mother would not leave an unresolved psychological shadow when the elder sister died, and then when the father tried to give her daughter When talking about life and death, she would not interrupt her father roughly.
If the young daughter had a correct outlook on life and death, she would be able to face the death of her beloved cat more bravely, and the subsequent series of tragedies would not have happened.
same,
The first time Cai Meiwen came into contact with death was when she passed by a cruel murderer, and then experienced the death of her pet dog. Before that, her parents had never talked to her about death.
I have to say that many Chinese parents are like this. They are extremely taboo to talk about two things with their children - sex and death. They think these two things are extremely dirty and unbearable. Parents think that as long as they don't talk about it, their children will not touch it. to these two things.
As for when to say it, probably never. They think that the child will understand it naturally when they grow up, and there is no need to say it at all.
But can they really get what they want? As long as they keep silent, the child will always remain innocent?
Those news about junior high school girls giving birth in the bathroom or junior high school boys hacking classmates dozens of times are actually not uncommon.
Since children are generally precocious nowadays, parents' taboos make children often ignorant and defenseless when they face sex and death for the first time. Big mistakes are inevitable, and the root cause lies in the parents.
Now many schools have popularized sex education courses, but it seems that schools and parents don't care about life and death.
Another reason why parents and schools keep taboo about death is probably that it is difficult to explain the matter of death. The educational level of parents is uneven, and even they don’t really understand death. Do children understand?
Atheism occupies a dominant position in Chinese society, but it also makes parents even more at a loss when they talk about the outlook on life and death.
Parents in western countries save a little trouble. If it is convenient, they can tell their children that the dead pets and family members went to heaven to accompany God, so that children can accept and understand it more easily. When the children grow up, they can tell more about it. level view of life and death.
What do Chinese parents say? Is it possible to tell the child that your puppy is going to heaven to accompany the Jade Emperor? Or went to the west to accompany the Tathagata Buddha? This doesn't seem to fit well.
Maybe the child will cry and ask, will I be able to see it in the next episode of "Journey to the West"?
After all, the heavens in the West only exist in people's imagination, while the heavens in the East have already been popularized by film and television decades ago...
A common practice among parents is to put difficult problems on hold indefinitely.
Because of her psychological shadow on death, Cai Meiwen prevents her daughter from repeating the same mistakes by not letting her daughter keep short-lived pets, instead of telling her daughter the correct view of life and death at the right time. As she said, people cannot control death, whether it is the death of others, the death of pets or their own death.
Regardless of whether the fate of human beings is dominated by free will or destiny, it is all delusion to want to dominate death—you don’t want to die, others may want you to die, others can’t kill you, earthquakes, volcanoes, typhoons, asteroids hit the earth and other natural disasters It might kill you too.
Zhang Zian couldn't imagine how much psychological impact he would suffer if his parents' death didn't happen when he was an adult, but when he was a child, because his parents didn't tell him the view of life and death. Most parents are no different.
Even as an adult, if it weren't for the dream world created by Zhuang Xiaodie, he would not be able to feel truly relieved of the sudden death of his parents in his heart. If he was a child... Whether it is the trajectory of fate or his character, he will definitely Make a big difference.
However, living in a pet shop and witnessing the birth, aging, sickness and death of pets every day, he has cultivated his own simple outlook on life and death in a subtle way, so if his parents passed away when he was a child... his ability to bear it may be better than other children, who knows? Can you tell?