Chapter 420: Cheating?

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"Huh...huh...huh...huh..."

The wind outside the window kept blowing the curtains, as if there were black shadows lingering outside.

Under the night, who is standing outside the window?

perhaps,

Most people had this kind of speculation when they were young, and also had similar doubts.

Zhu Shengnan opened his eyes and lay on the bed.

She has her own separate room,

Your own big bed,

your own wardrobe,

your own dressing table,

she has,

A home in great condition.

If there were statistics on women named Shengnan in the entire country, the number would be astonishingly high.

Parents themselves may not think so.

But this name itself carries a kind of oppression. Even the owner who bears this name will subconsciously hate his own name.

As if one's own birth, as if one's own gender,

For my parents’ family,

It's a kind of helplessness,

It's a sigh of resignation,

I want a son,

But a daughter was born,

In desperation, he chose the name "Sheng Nan".

It can be regarded as a kind of "self-deception" on the part of parents.

Because of the construction of ethics and morality, human beings can distinguish themselves from animals and slowly break away from the order of all things;

But everything has two sides, and the distortion of ethics and morality often becomes a side effect and begins to harm human beings themselves.

It's five o'clock in the morning,

Zhu Shengnan woke up early,

But I don't know what to do.

She is this year old, and she was originally at the age of kindergarten, but her family did not let her go to kindergarten. Instead, they hired a private tutor to teach her at home.

She didn't resist, nor did she know how to resist.

I can't sleep, it's still dark,

She doesn't make noises or make trouble,

She has a home,

But this home is a bit dark.

She didn't know what she could do at this point,

watch TV?

read comics?

Go to your parents' room and get into their bed to act like a spoiled brat?

She just leaned against the head of the bed and sat, and kept sitting.

We sat there until it started to get light.

Downstairs, there were footsteps. It must be that his grandma had gotten up and was preparing breakfast for the family.

She got up too,

wear clothes,

wash up,

After tidying up properly,

Slowly walked downstairs.

"Katsuo, come on, let's eat."

"Okay, grandma."

Katsuo didn’t sit down at the dining table;

Instead, he stood at the door of the small room at the corner of the living room.

Grandma came up with a tray. On the tray, there were porridge and bowls and chopsticks.

So-called eating,

It’s not that she asked her granddaughter to have breakfast with her.

It doesn’t matter whether a person eats or not, it doesn’t matter whether a person is hungry or not.

A Bodhisattva must never be in debt.

Grandma carefully put the tribute food on and arranged it well, then knelt down on the futon in front and kowtowed devoutly.

In Zhu Shengnan's memory, grandma did not believe in Buddhism. I don't know when she started to believe in Buddhism.

After kneeling down and worshiping,

Grandma stood up, reached out and grabbed Zhu Shengnan's wrist.

Grandma took out the needle, inserted it into Zhu Shengnan's arm, and drew half a tube of blood.

Immediately afterwards, the grandma poured her granddaughter's blood into the wick.

Zhu Shengnan didn't know where her grandma learned this method from, but she liked it very much because compared to drawing blood, other methods would make her feel more uncomfortable.

Grandma knelt down again, and she began to kneel down again, but this time, she knelt down to worship the painting under the altar table.

painting,

There are two ghosts, and in front of them is a male doll.

Grandma muttered a prayer, extremely pious.

Zhu Shengnan looked at the painting. She had seen this painting countless times.

Many days and nights, grandma held a whip, or father held a cigarette butt, or simply let himself be beaten,

Right in front of this picture,

The meaning is to let the two ghosts in this painting see it.

explain,

As long as you do this,

Dad can have a son.

Yes,

Dad wants a son,

Grandma also wants a grandson.

They wanted the boy doll like in the painting,

The structure below is different from mine.

Zhu Shengnan knew that he was completely redundant in this family. He had been redundant since he was born.

She forgot whether she had ever cried,

I was also confused as to whether I had ever made trouble.

If this were a besieged city,

Then it has no door for you to enter or exit.

People outside the city cannot see

See inside,

People in the city can't go outside either.

People cannot decide which family they are born into. Once you are born, you have no choice.

The Bodhisattva has finished eating.

It’s the person’s turn to eat.

Zhu Shengnan sat at the dining table, and her grandma served her porridge.

There are also steamed buns and pickles on the table, and there is no shortage of eggs, milk and the like.

Except in that little room,

Grandma is very good to herself,

Care about what you eat,

Care about what you wear,

Take good care of yourself,

Very considerate of myself,

It's like taking good care of your beloved one,

Zhu Shengnan remembers,

Grandma used to be a professional pig farmer, so she was able to support her father in going to college and working.

Dad came down, sat at the table, smiled at Zhu Shengnan, and then asked:

"Has the Bodhisattva eaten?"

"Have eaten." Grandma replied.

"Um."

Dad had something to eat and then got up to go to work. Before leaving, he specifically said: "I won't be back tonight."

"Well, don't come back."

Zhu Shengnan knew that his father was going to live with other women tonight.

this matter,

Grandma knows it too.

He wants a son,

She wants grandchildren,

Mother and son have the same goal.

My mother gave birth to her first child,

After that, three consecutive babies had B-timeouts, all of which were girls, and they were all miscarried.

In fact, a long time ago, the country stipulated that doctors were not allowed to reveal the gender of the baby during a B-timeout.

But the regulations are always good, and the original intention above is always good.

However,

It is not machines that enforce the rules, but people.

Even if this is the rule, there are definitely countless examples every year of people who learn that their wives are carrying a daughter and plan to have an abortion.

This may be,

It is also a kind of luck.

If those baby girls were born into families where they would have had an abortion if they knew they were girls, in fact, it would be better to leave early and wait for the next reincarnation.

It doesn't seem to be such a bad thing to simply end it at the beginning, compared to the treatment and injustice they will suffer after they are born.

But Zhu Shengnan knew clearly,

Dad has many women outside.

Several women are pregnant;

But they were still girls, and they were all aborted.

Dad is a dentist,

He allows his women to have abortions just as neatly as he extracts teeth for his patients.

Without a son, having more daughters means nothing to both mother and son.

This is an obsession,

An obsession that seems unbelievable to outsiders.

After dad left, mom came down.

Mom's hair is a little messy.

Not in good spirits.

Zhu Shengnan is a little afraid of his mother.

Especially when I’m sitting at the same table with my mom.

"Snapped!"

"So hot!"

Mom’s mouth was burned by the porridge,

He knocked over the porridge bowl and spilled the hot meat porridge on Zhu Shengnan's body.

Zhu Shengnan's body trembled slightly, but he didn't complain about pain, and even ignored it.

Mom did it on purpose,

she knows,

My mother doesn't like herself and hates herself.

She felt that the main culprit for causing her family to be like this was Zhu Shengnan.

If she were a boy, her mother would still have a happy family.

"This broom boy makes you angry when you see him!"

Mom picked up the chopsticks and slapped Zhu Shengnan.

Zhu Shengnan just sat there, not moving, letting her whip him.

Smoke it

Although it hurts when the chopsticks hit my body,

But compared to scratching yourself with a cigarette butt, scissors, or a knife,

It’s nothing.

Grandma was sitting there, chewing the buns in her mouth quietly,

Grandma at this time,

Just like Jia Mu in Dream of Red Mansions,

Standing high above, watching the fight below.

Breakfast is over,

The mother went upstairs again and had three consecutive miscarriages, which made her unable to continue her pregnancy and also suffered a huge mental blow. She locked herself at home all day long.

And she herself knows,

her husband,

Still looking for a boy,

outside,

on other women,

Working hard.

When people watch TV series, they often feel ridiculous and always feel that this kind of thing cannot happen in reality.

But actually,

The stories that happen in reality are often more like TV series than TV series.

Many of the lower limits of human beings are more terrifying than the madness of artists.

The personal trainer is here,

daytime,

Just take classes.

Wait until night,

The private tutor is gone,

Grandma called her:

"time for dinner."

Zhu Shengnan came down and she stood obediently at the door of the small room.

Grandma opened the door and walked in with her.

A blade appeared in grandma's hand,

She took off her clothes.

There was another wound on his body, and blood began to flow out.

Grandma knelt on the ground and started to cry, hugging her and crying.

"My poor granddaughter,

God, please open your eyes.

Oh, my miserable granddaughter,

My sweetheart..."

Grandma often cries,

She felt that by crying, she could move the Bodhisattva and the two people in the animation.

It's like crying during a funeral in a rural area. The sisters-in-law who were chatting and laughing before entering will immediately burst into "earth-shattering" tears. Grandma also inherited this skill.

She said that Bodhisattva has many things to do. If you don’t shout louder, she won’t be able to hear clearly.

If she can't hear clearly, she will ignore you.

Zhu Shengnan looked at his grandma who was kneeling on the ground holding him.

He looked ahead again.

Suddenly,

She saw that the two people in the painting seemed to be moving, yes, they were moving.

One of them seemed to be still smiling at himself.

She immediately shouted:

"Grandma, the people in the painting are moving."

She is happy,

Even excited.

perhaps,

When dad and grandma's affairs are done,

I can get out of this numb life, right?

The hardest thing to extinguish and kill is often fantasy.

"Pa!"

Grandma slapped Zhu Shengnan on the face,

shouting:

"You idiot, who are you trying to fool? What nonsense are you talking about!"

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