Chapter 1669 The Emotionless Walking Dead

Xia Yu, I hope this is not the first letter I wrote to you, nor the last. But I contradictly want you to know the content, but I am afraid that you will know. Because I'm sorry for you, I shouldn't have married you, it makes you very painful, and it may make you sad and sad for the rest of your life.

It's all because of my selfishness that I hurt you.

There is a truth that I have never dared to tell you. But if I die, you are the one with the most power to know the truth.

A few years ago, I was on a mission and nearly failed and nearly died. In order to get me to speak, the enemy tortured me in many ways. Among them, I was injected with a lot of drugs, and my whole life was worse than death. But when I was about to die, I was lucky to be saved. But the drugs tormented me, and they would still kill me, and at that time, no one could save me.

At the time, the only chance of surviving was an injection of a prohibited drug, and as for what, I can't tell you. But as a result, I became an emotionless walking dead.

I do not know what is happiness, what is happiness, and there is no feeling of love. Without emotions, I would not be able to become dependent on drugs, and my body would be redeemed.

But since then, my soul has died.

Every day I don't know what the meaning of life is. I can only continue to perform tasks and restrain myself with standard justice and morality. It is only when I perform a task that I have the illusion that I am alive.

Until one day, I met you.

You said you wanted to marry me, you like me so much, no matter who you are can tell. But everyone can see that I don't like you.

Actually, it's not that I don't like you, I even want to feel sad in my heart. Because I don't know what it's like to like anymore, I can't even respond to such a nice girl as you.

Of course, I can't give you happiness either, I don't even know what happiness feels like.

So I rejected you and was indifferent to you. But you didn't give up on me, and your feelings for me didn't change in the slightest. Your sincere emotions are simple and pure without mixing anything.

This is the first time I have seen such pure feelings. Perhaps in this world, only you can love me so purely, not because of my identity, nor because of any of my reputation.

In front of your pure love, I gradually developed selfish thoughts. I don't have any happiness and feelings anymore, but I want to have them more and more. I eagerly longed, like a pedestrian in a desert without water.

I want to have your love for me selfishly, and I look forward to one day when your love can awaken all my emotions. So I agreed to marry you after I was sure that you would marry me even if I didn't love you.

Xia Yu, you don't know, at that time I thought you were my life-saver. I was looking forward to my life changing because of you, but in the end, I was wrong.

I was terribly wrong, horribly wrong.

Because of my momentary selfishness, I married you, but I couldn't give you the happiness you wanted. I don't even know how to be a good husband or how to love you and respond to your feelings.

Even I am indifferent to your dedication.

Seeing the sadness in your eyes always makes me want to blame myself.