Chapter 273

"Her first memory was of her hands stained with blood. And even she couldn't control her hands slashing downwards."

"From the first time she came into this world, she killed something."

"For her, who was like a blank sheet of paper, it was like some kind of engraving that deeply carved death—especially the death in the dungeon—into her soul."

"She then pointed the blade of the knife at her throat."

"The death you want to create is never just other things, but also yourself, who is also a monster born in the dungeon."

"Oh, but I don't know if it's luck or misfortune..."

"The girl who is like a blank piece of paper with the word 'death' written all over it has not entered her own death after all."

"It's like I survived in the human world with the curse of death that chased me through the dungeon."

but……

Will had never heard of the scene that he had seen countless times described as "nightmare", "nightmare", and "abyss", and he told it with such emotions——

A story told calmly by a young girl and viewed from her perspective.

Rather than blood, strangeness and misplaced fear, it is more like the tone of memories that have long been relieved.

The scene she narrated seemed like an old photo with a light yellow memory filter.

The scene and experience were unhappy, but she accepted it as part of her life.

Why?

Chapter 301 The end of this relationship is you (4k)

"Even if the good people around her tell her over and over again that she is really a human being and bears the mark of the Concentrator on her body, she just needs to live well in this world..."

"When she closes her eyes, she will think of the blood on the floor and the tip of the knife aimed at her throat."

"Thinking of this scene, I trembled so much that I was afraid of death as if instinctively."

Shona looked towards the dark corner of the room.

She recalled the nights in the orphanage in Polo, when she was just adopted. She closed her eyes and trembled in the nightmare that she couldn't restrain the urge to kill herself since she was born.

"But this is exactly what is fixed in her instinct..."

"Even if she is afraid, even if she is doubtful, it is like a curse nailed in her brain, pushing her to create 'death in the dungeon' and 'own death'..."

Shona remembered that even though she was taken to a school that taught how to explore the dungeon, she couldn't learn anything.

Because she cannot "understand" such a bright "life" like campus.

The further away from the dungeon, the more terrified she became.

The more afraid she is of stabbing her first memory, the more convinced she is that it must be her own end.

Although it is very rare in this world, it is like... the "divine voice" playing in the soul, controlling and ravaging a girl who was born with a blank identity in the world, suggesting that her life has become a pursuit of dungeons The appearance of death.

She was obsessed with opening the gray-black door leading to the dungeon.

Go down level by level.

The further you go, the closer you are to...death.

"Looking back on the reason now, it's probably just because... that girl was born in the underground city. Perhaps... she can be regarded as a 'monster' in the underground city - at least by definition, but... with the 'blessing' given by the goddess Reveirsi. '."

"The blessing of the Concentrator will be dedicated to the underground city throughout his life."

"Yes. This blessing... prompts me to tear apart, destroy, and kill everything in the dungeon."

"Including...herself."

"So it became a curse that prevented me from understanding the meaning of life and survival. Only...the first memory..."

Before Shona could finish her words, Will spoke:

"Death in the underground city is the only thing she can understand."

"Yes, that's right. As expected, Will, you are the one who understands me best. You can actually describe it word for word."

Will said nothing.

Of course, it's word for word, because this psychological activity has been seen again and again in Xiu's memory in his previous life - although he now understands that the whole story that happened to Xiu Na is like a bug.

From the moment she was born, Shona has become a code that runs incorrectly and eventually leads to self-destruction.

Although this is indeed the treatment of being a "protagonist" in a sense - carrying the blood of the enemy and one's own side at the same time, contradictory yet unified, it seems to be the "key" to solve the biggest contradiction and the biggest problem in the entire world.

"She must have been very scary at that time. A baby doesn't know anything, but she would be crazy and morbid and only think about death."

Hearing this, Will felt...

I seem to have misunderstood something.

He peeked at Xiuna from below. She was particularly calm when she told how this passage would never sound like a normal person's state of mind.

In Xiu's story, he hasn't felt anything yet. After all, Xiu is more like a "monster", but Xiu Na said this herself...

Will felt he was wrong.

Shona who looks the most normal, the calmest, and in the best mental state...

He was the one who was deeply ill from the beginning. Whether it is about death or life, whether it is about the outside world or the underground city, there are people who have different understandings from ordinary people.

even……

She might be...

From the very beginning, it was easy for her to be blackened from her heart to her feet, because it was never difficult for her to kill someone or herself.

Even at that time, she was probably terribly dark.

But now, she seems to be different, optimistic, cheerful and energetic.

As for why...

He knew the "future" of this story, so it's easy to guess.

Probably, it has something to do with his unintentional act.

"Then... she skipped school, and went to the Adventurer's Association with a 'confused' and 'clear purpose', wanting to enter the dungeon..."

"It would be difficult to enter the dungeon at that age, even if her own strength was not weak."

"Yes. But she was smart and realized a way to deceive those adults - just say it was homework and assignments that she had to complete."

When Shuuna said this, she looked at the candlelight beside her, and smiled a little relieved at Will across the candlelight.

She thought, it seems that he didn't see it, otherwise the smile she always wore when writing to him later would erase his impression of her being cool, handsome and powerful.

"So, what kind of topic is most suitable? She saw a commission that she had learned in the previous few days."

"So she took the question - to be honest, she didn't care at the time, but now she thinks it's an interesting question."

"How should the ice armor body withstand the heat of 200 degrees Celsius of steam? Maybe it's like this?"

"She was only thirteen years old and walked into the dungeon. She was really a rookie at that time. She only knew some innate melee combat and the most basic ice armor possession. Of course, the enemy she faced was not very good, a swelling magma monster that now looks quite weak. Hmm... can it be called a fight between rookies?"

It was obvious that she was very "angry" two minutes ago, and she was a little "depressed" when she started to tell this story, but when she talked about this experience, she became full of joy.

This is something she has been waiting for a long time - telling this thing that only she has experienced.

The reply that she calmly wrote in the letter was precisely the blessing in the whole incident.

"That battle was meaningless. Compared with the more exciting battles that followed, it was not worth mentioning."

Xuna wanted to recall the specific scenes of this first battle in her life and describe it in gorgeous words, but then she found that these memories and fragments became too vague.

Yes.

She only thought about "giving death" and "seeking death" in her heart. Let alone fighting, everything else would be difficult to put into her memory.

"But...the girl found..."

Xuna looked at her arm. On her right arm, there was a faint scar that was basically invisible.

She remembered that it was a burn.

"She was injured. It was a burn. The injury was not light, but not fatal. She could feel pain, but it was not unbearable."

"When she saw the wound, she thought... such a burn could not kill her? But... her trick just now did kill the lava monster and it disappeared. Sure enough, is this not enough? So she moved on to the next ten floors..."

"But like a flash of lightning, she looked at her arm and found..."

"The burn was not uniform. The steam was clearly rushing over, but some skin was not burned. In other words, the answer to that question created a solution here."

"..."

She waited for Will's evaluation. Although he used the tone of "a certain girl", he must have been smart enough to find out that this was a story of "I have a friend", and the person he talked about from beginning to end was herself.

Will didn't speak, but listened confidently, but he didn't urge her to continue.

A narrator who talks at will, and a listener who listens at will, waiting for the follow-up that both of them knew.

"She should have continued the dungeon, but it seemed that the letter showed her another answer in this world. She felt that she should write the reply letter and consult various books - the books given to her by the teacher must have relevant results."

"She studied her wounds, consulted all the information, and even went to the dungeon of the lava monster many times."

"Then... racking her brains, using the most serious letter font, she wrote the letter."

"It's very strange. At least... during the time when she was trying to figure out how the ice armor possessed her to block the steam burns, it seemed that there was more than just "death" in her brain."

It happened a few years ago, but Shuna remembered this first letter.

She wrote it carefully word by word, using the most polite words she had just learned, but her mood was like sharing her great discovery with a very good friend in the form of a letter.

What kind of person is he?

What would he think when he received the letter?

Why did he ask this question?

Would he write back to thank her for the answer?

- These questions were answered one by one in the days to come. For her at that time, it was an unexpected and fresh expectation.

"Although it was just that letter, it was like a life-saving straw. As long as you grab it, you won't sink again."

"Of course, a single straw will break, but..."

"The person who asked the question didn't stop. He asked one question after another, one after another strange question that not only requires knowledge but also practice, right?"

"Yeah!" Xiona nodded and smiled, "If there is no follow-up, I think she will still walk into the quagmire of death one day, but now it is different. Someone has expanded the blank paper of death and suddenly filled it with a lot of content."

"In fact, until now, she has not been able to analyze how she got rid of the mental pins filled with death, and was able to explore freely in the dungeon and survive so healthily, just like analyzing how to avoid steam burns..."

"She just numbly longed for the letters he wrote; she just mechanically completed the tasks he gave; she just repeatedly answered the answers to the questions he asked..."

"Obviously, they were all questions about dungeon adventures, but she always found new ways to find the answers. Even the parts about monsters and plants made her seem to know the world again. And the life in this world he described, whether it was school or daily life, was so interesting that people applauded."

"The letters he wrote would praise generously - those things done well, those props that were hard to get, and those beautiful and perfect answers."

How should she recall the short four years of her life with memories?

Shuona could only think of the thick envelope.

She put every letter Will wrote to her in a box and stored it at the Adventurer's Association's storage point.

Although she had a good memory, she would not remember every question and answer in the letter, but once she entered the dungeon, all the questions she answered became her experiences.

"When she came to her senses, she found that when she closed her eyes, it was still the same nightmare, but she was no longer afraid of death."

"This was not a sudden change, nor was it an act of removing the command engraved in the depths of her soul, but..."

"Through this dependence on every letter she wrote and every dungeon adventure, she finally understood the meaning of 'survival'."

"- Perhaps one day, I will be buried in the depths of the dungeon like every God Condenser, but every floor I have walked through, every stroke I have accumulated, and every place I have seen are the meaning of my survival."

The straw finally saved her, and then became the silk thread tied to her little finger that could not be given up.

"She was thinking that the rest of her life must be spent finding the person who wrote the letter, whether it was inviting him, begging him, or kidnapping him, and she would definitely finish the remaining path of survival that he pointed out for herself with him."

"The story ends here."

"..."

Will didn't say anything. Shuna turned around slightly. After telling the story in the third person, she seemed to walk out and stood in front of Will again.

"The girl is me."