Chapter 3117: "Romantic" Wedding Season (XI)

Chapter 3091 "Romantic" Wedding Season (XI)

Schiller analyzed Reed's situation very carefully. Some of the scenes he described that Reed might encounter in his daily life made Reed more convinced that he could read minds, because he had indeed encountered these situations more than once.

Reed also told Schiller about his mental journey. Because he had a high IQ and did not have any pathological mental illness, his description was very accurate.

Reed's appearance was actually good. He was not as good as those famous handsome guys in Marvel, but he could also make up the second echelon. He was tall enough, 1.86 meters tall. His figure was not very strong, but he was well-proportioned. He looked handsome.

But according to him, he was not popular when he was a student, and even suffered from school bullying. Of course, those who wanted to bully him were dealt with by him before they could do anything.

But even so, he often encountered cold violence, that is, he was isolated by students and was like a transparent person in the class. No one talked to him.

The most amazing thing is that his grades are so good, he gets A in all subjects every year, he doesn't smoke, drink, fight, or get into trouble, and he doesn't even talk about love, but no teacher likes him.

Not to mention his popularity with the opposite sex. He didn't have to wait until now to fall in love, but many girls were very interested in him at the beginning, and even took the initiative to pursue him, but for some reason, they left soon, and some even turned against each other, making his reputation worse.

At first, Reed thought it must be because he was a genius, and this group of ordinary people were jealous of him, so they united to exclude him. How can a sparrow know the ambition of a swan?

But after entering college, he found that it seemed wrong. There are actually many geniuses in the world. At that time, Reed was still in the process of learning, and he didn't know which echelon he was in. When he came into contact with some new things, he would find that there were people who were better than him. He thought that he should have found a soulmate at this time, right?

But no, his classmates in the same lab didn't like him either, the teacher only maintained superficial politeness, those respected professors affirmed his research results, but they seemed to always avoid him, and when he wanted to ask for advice, everyone got sick.

During this period, Reed began to feel confused, was he born with a bad luck? Why did everyone dislike him?

Fortunately, he was a genuine genius, and even if others didn't like him, they had to admit his talent, cooperate with him, and recommend him, so he didn't doubt himself and develop any mental illness.

For Reed, the world was a huge public affair, and everyone maintained a superficial attitude towards him based on colleagues. As long as they mentioned personal relationships, no one would not shake their heads.

Reed was so smart that he knew something was wrong. He also went to see a psychologist, but he didn't see any disease. Some doctors also pointed out tactfully that there might be something wrong with his way of dealing with people.

This is not a victim-blaming theory. The main reason is that if everyone he has met since childhood has this attitude, it is unlikely that they have colluded. It is more likely that the problem lies with Reed himself.

Because he has never had any close friends and no one has been open with him, he has never been able to figure out the tricks, but he has gotten used to it over time.

His academic achievements are unmatched, and he feels a bit lonely at the top, so he is not in urgent need of interpersonal communication, because he lives well without socializing.

But this time is different. He likes a girl, of course he has to take the initiative to interact with her, but the previous painful experiences have made him not very confident. He is afraid that Susan will be like those female classmates in his middle school. They are fine when they are not familiar with him at the beginning of the school, but they start to alienate him after a while.

Although Reed also showed his goodwill to Susan, he did not dare to get too close. He could see that Susan was also interested in him, but Susan did not take the initiative to approach him. The two have been deadlocked for a while.

When Schiller asked what Susan needed most, Reed had actually realized the problem, but he didn't expect that all the tragedies in his interpersonal relationships actually originated from the word "responsibility".

Serious illnesses require strong medicine. In order to make Reed cooperate with the treatment, Schiller simulated what would happen if the two of them really dated or even got married.

Reed was very interested in this, and he often fantasized about getting married with Susan. He didn't even eat, and stared at Schiller with a sharp eye while holding a straw to drink coconut milk.

"Okay, first question, you two have established a relationship now, and you are going on your first date after falling in love. She asks you for your opinion. What will you say?"

Reed seemed to be immersed in a beautiful fantasy. He cleared his throat and said, "Of course you have the final say, dear."

"Well, I think Ms. Susan is very cautious about her relationship, so for the first date after establishing a relationship, she chose the more common shopping and watching movies. When she told her choice, what would you say?"

As soon as the word shopping was mentioned, Reed frowned, but he quickly calmed his expression and said, "Okay, you may be interested in these, let's go."

Schiller stared at him for a long time, and Reed touched his face and said, "Any questions?"

"The problem is big." Schiller sighed helplessly, "What is" you may be interested in these? "

Reed is also a little bit embarrassed. He said, "It means literally. I feel that Susan is a person who is interested in shopping."

"Are you not interested?"

"Of course, I don't like shopping at all." Reed spread out: "I can't tell those messy luxury brands, and the restaurants in the mall are not delicious."

"Then why don't you oppose it directly?"

Ride said in doubt, "Don't you all say it? She is interested in these things, so we will go."

"Then you are sure her, saying" really a good idea "?"

"This is her interest, I just accompany her. Actually, I am not interested in these, I just want to tell her the reason I will go."

"Then why do you say when she asked you for your opinion?"

"Don't I still follow her?"

"Then why don't you agree with her?"

"Because I just don't like these."

"Then why do you say everything?"

Reed was wrapped around by Siller. He spread his hand on the desktop and said, "I like Susan, so I think she can decide where we will go next, so I say that I will follow her. I don't like it, so I told her, this is because you like us, what's the problem? "

"Of course, there is a problem. Why do you sit together and discuss the place where the date is, because you have to use this date to deepen your feelings for each other. A good dating place can let the relationship be warmed faster."

"The dating place that can quickly heat up the relationship must be that both of you like it. You can keep both of you in your mood. Will you not understand this with your IQ?"

After thinking about it, Reed nodded and said, "Yes, this is really the truth."

"In this case, the purpose of you to sit and discuss is to discuss a place where the two of you like. If it is not to reach a consensus, then there is no need to sit down and communicate, isn't it?"

Reed thought about it again, and then said, "It's true."

"Since the purpose of communication is to achieve a consensus, then your words and deeds in this communication are extremely bad."

"You talk about the place of date first, in fact, you like what she choose, but after she chooses, you say that you don’t like the location she choose. Since you really don’t like it, why should you be in? At the beginning, expressed her "I agree with you all the choices' attitude?"

Ride touched her horns with her fingers and said, "I just want to coax her happy."

"So, so it seems that the goal of your communication is not to reach a consensus, but that you have to coax her happy?"

Ride nodded.

"So your first step is right. You expressed that you fully respect her choice. What you like is what I like, so why don't you continue to coax in the second question and continue to agree with her, but Must express that you don't like it yourself "" "

Before Lede waited, Schiller went on to say, "Because you think the facts are, but the goal of this communication is to discuss the facts?"

Reed pouted his mouth without talking. He just changed the goal of this communication from a consensus to coaxing Susan.

"I might be a bit confused." Reed said, "But can't say that I lack a sense of responsibility? Am I still going to go with her?"

"Do you think you have accompanied her to the place you don't like, is it compensation for your previous words?"

"Uh, I may not feel that mistake, but if she is happy, I can accept those luxury shops with her, and then go to eat those unpalatable restaurants."

"So what do you say wrong?"

"I might not realize that I was wrong at the time, and I felt that Susan would not be angry because of a few words."

"Maybe she won't this time, but if she knows it once? What would you do?"

"If she is angry, I will apologize to her." Reed said, "I would say,‘ I ’m not intentionally said that, I’ m sorry ’.”

"This is almost the same, then?"

"Uh, what's then?"

"It's over?"

"Otherwise?"

Schiller sighed again and said, "You perfectly show what it means to apologize without sincerity."

"Because I think I should feel inexplicable at the time, I don't know what she was angry, but if I apologized to make her not angry, I would do it."

"But this may make her more angry."

"Why?"

"Because you don't understand what she is angry, but understand your girlfriend's emotions as much as possible as your responsibility, don't you think so?"

"Then if I really can't understand it?"

"What if you have a problem that you can't overcome in your scientific research project?"

里德认真地思考了一下之后说：“我不觉得这个世界上存在什么我攻克不了的科研难题，但如果确实有这样的东西，可能我会选择换个思路，从另一个角度去破解，或者是Continue to study and think in depth, I believe I will definitely understand. "

"So why don't you have such confidence in emotion?"

"Because I don't understand too much in this respect."

Schiller realized that there is another serious problem in Ride, that is, his social self -confidence is very low.

It may be because he has not had social success since childhood. He has no confidence in understanding and empathy others, and is more willing to choose the simplest solution.

The so -called simplest solution is the formula. He said sorry for others to be angry. If others are sad, he said not to cry. When others are depressed, he says he wants to open something. He said calmly.

This formula is pretty good for autism or Asperg patients, because they can't understand others in essence, which helps them disguise themselves as normal people.

But Reed is a normal person. He uses this formula because he feels unable to understand others, or it is useless to understand. He still has to social failure. It is also a kind of social barrier.

Schiller feels that his problem is a bit serious. It is difficult to correct it in conventional methods. It is not a matter of overnight establishment of social confidence, but Reed now wants to chase Susan.

Schiller paused, first looked around, and then sneakyly said: "There are two ways now, one is formal, regular, safe and reliable, that is, the speed is relatively slow, and the other is a sword. I am not responsible for their safety, but I can quickly achieve it, which one do you want to choose? "

"Of course it is fast!"