Chapter 526: Calm Madness (Original)

It was precisely because of what Shinji Ikari said to Asuka that Asuka ended up in that situation.

But Shinji Ikari did tell the truth at that time, but just like what Rei Ayanami said just now...

The truth hurts everyone.

And it was obvious that Shinji Ikari told Asuka the truth out of anger at that time.

So he regretted it later.

In fact, Shinji Ikari's later autism was not simply caused by him killing Kaoru Nagisa.

Also, what he did to Asuka before made him feel like an out-and-out scum.

He is a sinful villain.

So he felt that compared to Nagisa Kaoru, he was the one who didn't deserve to live.

But in order to survive, he killed Nagisa Kaoru himself.

Just like Longinus, the centurion of the Roman Empire who killed the Son, he ended the Son's life with a spear, but the Blood of the Son touched his eyes, making him no longer blind.

So he felt guilty, and later spent his whole life working hard for the Holy Bishop preached by the Son. As a Roman before, he had never believed in the Holy Lord, but he devoted his whole life to promoting the will of the Son.

Although he was later canonized as a saint.

But he just prayed for the salvation of the Son and the Lord in order to repay and make up for his shame.

The same is true for Shinji Ikari. He has always been ashamed, so he initially decided not to fly Unit-1 even if humanity becomes extinct.

At this moment, he is still trying to pray for salvation, praying for Asuka to forgive him. This is his greatest salvation.

But Asuka said this to him, which made him extremely confused and painful.

"Asuka...help me..."

Shinji Ikari begged and said to Asuka, who always lowered his head, "Asuka is the only one who can save me."

"lie."

However, Asuka said this at this time.

Shinji Ikari saw the way Asuka looked at him at the moment, cold and...hostile.

"Actually, anyone can do it."

Asuka stood up, causing Shinji to retreat away in fear and shame.

But she still kept getting closer to Shinji Ikari and said, "Because you are afraid of Misato and the No. 1 Qualified Person...Afraid of your father and mother, you just ran away to me!"

Shinji Ikari kept retreating as if her words had touched a weakness in his heart.

But there was no way out in the room behind him, so he could only face Asuka and circle around the table in the middle.

"Because it's the easiest way to do it and you won't get hurt."

But Asuka continued to attack his weakest and most painful places with words.

"Help me!"

Shinji Ikari still had some illusions and prayed for redemption.

"You've never liked anyone else!"

However, at this time, Asuka yelled at him face to face, and then pushed him down!

Shinji Ikari was pushed down with the teapot behind him...

"And you don't even like yourself!"

Asuka was still attacking Shinji Ikari, until she saw Shinji Ikari falling to the ground together with the scalding tea, and she looked down at Shinji Ikari again.

"It's so sad..."

She didn't know whether she was talking about Shinji Ikari or herself.

Seeing Asuka's appearance, the audience also remembered...

Asuka was talking about Shinji Ikari, so she wasn't talking about herself.

Shinji Ikari has always been afraid of his father and mother, and has been lonely since he was a child. So why is she the same?

Because of the accident in the No. 2 experiment, the mother became crazy and even told the doll that this was her daughter.

The father and mother's attending doctors came together and formed a new family.

She lost both her father and her mother.

And the same goes for her... She is not truly liked by others, and even she doesn't like herself.

It was because no one liked her that she escaped into Shinji Ikari's heart and just kissed Shinji Ikari.

Because Shinji Ikari is the one who... won't hurt her.

It's sad, and it's not just Ikari Shinji. Isn't she the same?

Therefore, facing Kaji Ryoji, the only person she could get close to, she was unwilling to accept the fact that the other person was dead. Until the lies of self-deception were exposed, she fell into a self-imposed dilemma.

The audience felt like they were going numb.

They don't know why, this kind of conflicting drama plot, which is rare in Lin Qingshan's works, is more sad than those plots about hair knives.

It's like... using nail clippers to dig open your chest bit by bit, leaving your heart dripping with blood but your brain blank in front of everyone.

Shinji Ikari's body was covered with scalding tea, but he didn't cry out in pain, or even scream.

The whole person is as numb as the audience at this time.

"Please help me..."

He lowered his head from the tea, stood up begging, and said, "Help me... help me..."

He now seems to be numbly wanting to pray for salvation, just like a guilty devout believer looking forward to the indulgence issued by the holy bishop.

Just need to be redeemed, no matter what kind of redemption it is.

Whether it is true salvation or false.

He just wants to be redeemed and have his heart filled with nothingness and lies, even though what is being filled is also nothingness and empty things.

But his numbness was like... the deathly silence before the explosion.

Sure enough, finally, in the midst of numb prayers, Shinji Ikari broke out.

"Come and save me!"

He suddenly grabbed the edge of the table and lifted it up, knocking everything over to the ground!

Then he picked up the chair and waved it around, destroying everything here wantonly.

"Don't leave me alone!!"

"Don't abandon me!!"

"Don't kill me!!"

…

However, Asuka's eyes were still as cold and calm as death.

Until Shinji Ikari finally stopped, breathing heavily from exhaustion.

She said calmly and expressionlessly, "I refuse."

There was deathly silence, even the background music stopped.

Then……

"Ho--!!"

Shinji Ikari grabbed Asuka's neck without any warning, and with deep hatred, he strangled her neck hard!

He wants to strangle Asuka to death!

This scene couldn't help but remind some viewers of "Fate Zero" of the scene when Kariya strangled Toki Aoi and Kiritsugu strangled Kuroire.

It’s all the same…heartbreaking!

However, Asuka didn't make any struggle and allowed Shinji Ikari to choke her neck.

Suddenly, a soft, quiet background music sounded, but the picture was a bloody background, flashing the picture of Shinji Ikari strangling Asuka.

Shinji Ikari's expression was ferocious at this time, Asuka was as calm as before, the bloody and terrifying scene... and the soft music, outlined an extremely absurd and weird scene.

Then... a picture similar to a child's simple drawing appeared.

It's like a world drawn by a child with severe mental illness.

Chaotic brushstrokes, blurred faces, dead dogs, severed fish heads... countless images allow the audience to feel the chaos, violence, and depression beneath Shinji Ikari's always calm surface. The dark side of the heart.

In this soft music, it makes people feel a little breathless.

Depression and death, sadness and peace, the audience felt for the first time that maybe the real madness is not the kind of hysteria, the kind of yelling.

Someone like Shinji Ikari who is obviously crazy but still pretends to be calm...maybe he is truly crazy.

Then countless plot titles flashed back, including famous scenes from the past series, faster and faster, as if the madness in the heart was accelerating faster and faster.

They even felt that through this stream of consciousness plot, they could feel the world of a mental patient so immersively for the first time.

then……

"Hahaha! So this is the inner world of a madman?"

"Old thief Qingshan! I feel it! It turns out... is this how a mental patient feels?"

"I'm out of the plug and it feels good! It's great! I'm starting to understand everything!"

"Before, you all said that the author of the original work was mentally ill, but I didn't believe it! Now I believe it! I really believe it! The screenwriter and the original author are definitely mentally ill!"

"This plot, this scene... a person who has not been mentally ill for ten years would never be able to imagine it!"

"These graffiti are classic proof of personality defects..."

"Generally speaking, in personality psychology, this type of graffiti experiment is used to study children's psychological problems."

"To be precise, it's a lack of personality...Old thief Qingshan must have a serious lack of personality!"

"It goes without saying that he likes blood. To be precise, he likes the reality and cruelty of blood. This is the personality flaw that emerged after the old thief Qingshan witnessed his own tragedy."

"Old thief Qingshan...isn't this similar to Shinji Ikari? They both lost their parents."

"Everyone else went out to get their materials. Good guy, Old Thief Qingshan took all the materials from himself!"

"No wonder the old thief Qingshan never said that he went out to collect materials ()"

"Calm madness... For the first time, I feel that madness can be as calm as normal people. Shinji Ikari's heart is already riddled with holes, but he still has to pretend to be a normal person."

"I feel sorry for Shinji... He really... has suffered too much misfortune."

"I wouldn't be surprised at all if Shinji climbs the steps with Brother Huozi's Daqianlu."

"It hurts! It hurts so much!"

…

When the audience saw this, they really unanimously felt that this was Lin Qingshan's own creation.

It's just... so crazy.

How could a normal screenwriter come up with such a plot and a stream of consciousness scene, paired with such soft music.

Without someone with the same lack of personality as Shinji Ikari, it would be impossible to imagine such a plot!

"No one wants to know me."

Shinji Ikari's voice appeared again.

In the blurry picture, there are memories of his past, fast forwarding like a memory flashback before death.

However, what answered him this time was Rei Ayanami's voice——

"You don't know anything."

"I thought this was a world without nasty things and betrayal..."

Shinji Ikari said.

"You think others are the same as you."

"Betrayed...me! Betrayed my feelings!"

"It was your own delusion from the beginning, it was just your wishful thinking."

"Everyone... doesn't need me."

Shinji Ikari seemed to suddenly understand, his heart was filled with despair, and he said, "Then you all go to hell."

But at this moment...

"Then what is the meaning of your hands?"

Ayanami Rei's voice asked again.

In the bloody picture, it seems that the process of life evolution is playing in Shinji Ikari's memories.

From the ocean, the fish that represent the ancestors of human beings swim slowly.

"My presence or absence will not affect anything..."

Shinji Ikari still said desperately, "Nothing will change, so you all go to hell."

"Then what is the meaning of your heart's existence?"

Ayanami Rei's voice asked again.

"It's better than nothing...so I want to die too."

Shinji Ikari said still desperately.

"Then why are you here?"

Ayanami Rei asked again.

"Can I stay here?"

Shinji Ikari asked.

But this time Ayanami Rei stopped talking.

In the black picture there is only the symbol "..." that represents silence.

Then……

“Ahhhhhh——!!!”

Shinji Ikari shouted in pain.

The picture also seemed to have been scratched by countless knives, becoming riddled with holes.

…

real world.

NERV underground headquarters.

"The response of a qualified person is infinitely close to 0!"

"The EVA mass production machine and the underground cavity have passed the E level! They are still rising!"

With the remaining commanders acting as commanders, the appearance of Black Moon appeared on the screen.

Then the huge "Ayanami Rei" appears in the sky above the earth holding the black moon.

And then... it all happened.

"The House of Souls is open."

Dongyue looked at this scene and said, "The door to the beginning and end of the world is finally about to be opened!"

Then the next moment, everyone turned into bright yellow liquid...

Is this... turned into the water of life LCL?

But countless Ayanami Rei stood in front of the "bodies" of everyone who turned into the water of life, looking at "them" calmly.

Those who were still alive and those who were dead like Ritsuko, all turned into bright yellow liquid.

This scene made the audience's hair stand on end.

But the background music is like a holy and joyful hymn, as if this situation is something worthy of celebration.

"The world will be filled with sorrow."

Ayanami Rei's voice sounded again——

"The emptiness will fall over people."

"Loneliness will bury the human heart."

…

Then from other people's perspective, they saw Ayanami Rei, and then Ayanami Rei became someone they liked and cared about.

Either accept it happily, or resist it all the time.

But it didn't matter, because the next moment they were all touched by Ayanami Rei, they all turned into the original water of life.

"A.T. force field... everyone's A.T. force field is disappearing."

Only the last female commander was left to explain the current situation. Her hands were trembling and she said, "Is this the answer? Is this the answer I am pursuing?"

However, not long after, she also turned into the water of life in the beautiful fantasy of seeing Ritsuko.

even!

Even the people in Seele, who everyone thought were the masterminds behind everything, turned into the original water of life amidst the sounds of joy!

They... didn't have any back-ups, and this was all they wanted!