Four Hundred and Sixty-Four Face It Calmly

Adam just crouched on the steering wheel, venting all his emotions on his shoulders, revealing a sadness, faint, the fragile lines seemed to be unbearable under the weight of the night, and they might collapse at any time. The faint halo sparsely undulated along the shoulder line, but it became more and more lonely and dazed.

He raised his head, sat up straight again, Adam leaned weakly against the back of the driver's seat, let out a long, long breath, his thick eyelashes trembled slightly, and his narrow eyes revealed a hint of loneliness , like the wings of a butterfly in the drizzle, a mist of water splashed between the flutters, but it was difficult to conceal the fragility that was broken when touched, and it slowly spread in the rich night.

This is the end. The night before the operation, nothing happened, nothing changed, he just tried to drive once, less than 200 meters away, and then stopped abruptly. so void.

The air suddenly quieted down, and that mixed emotions permeated inside and outside the carriage. Not a word was spoken, but it was worth a thousand words. Seth couldn't help biting the tip of his tongue, which avoided the embarrassment of tears falling.

After experiencing the catharsis just now, Adam could feel that the flame in his chest became milder, but it still did not go out. He regained his energy and thought about it in his seat. He always felt that he should do something. Without a clue, I suddenly recalled something, and then took out my phone.

"No!" Seth squinted and pondered for a moment when he saw the phone's first glance, then he understood Adam's plan and shouted in horror, "Oh, no." Then he saw Adam open the address book , started rummaging through the call information, and the ominous premonition was coming true - is Adam going to call his ex-girlfriend Rachel?

This is an absolute disaster! Thinking back to the usual Adam, he was always too kind, he was always easily deceived by Rachel, and he would always forgive Rachel easily. At the threshold of death, Adam was likely to forgive Rachel again. This is typical Adam. As a result, all their previous efforts and perseverance will be nullified, which makes Seth both annoyed and angry.

Seth only felt a tightness in his chest, as if Will's old story was playing out again in front of his eyes, and he couldn't help shouting, "No, you can't call her, man!"

But Adam didn't respond at all, just focused on looking at the phone screen, which made Seth angrily bang the car window, trying to attract Adam's attention, roaring, "Think about how she treated you!" But still to no avail , Adam successfully found the phone number, and then dialed directly. Seth yelled, "You're a bitch! Adam!"

This angered Adam. He turned his head and yelled back tit for tat, "You are a selfish bastard!" His face was red, his mouth was splashing, and his eyes were wide with anger. He lost his usual tenderness, and he lost his usual well-behaved, foul language. Out of the way, "You are more concerned about your own damn beauty than being my friend!"

The sharp accusation made Seth stunned, avoided his gaze in shame, took a step back embarrassedly, put his hands on his hips, lowered his head and sighed lightly, only to find that he could not refute at all, and in the end he could only stand helplessly in the original position. The ground, unable to say a word, fell into the emotion of self-blame.

Adam found that he was panting badly, but it was just a few words, and he began to pant rapidly, feeling that his breath was a little uneven, and took a big breath of oxygen, but he went through the wrong trachea, which caused him to cough violently. The weakness of the body swept over quickly, the whole face was flushed red, the back began to sweat cold, the pain of the soul being pulled away made his brows furrowed.

The ravages of the virus in the body are so clear and real.

But Adam was not angry, instead, a smile appeared on the corner of his mouth, mocking and sad. What if you are unwilling? He has no choice, has he?

"Hello." The call was connected, but the voice on the other end was not Rachel.

It was Katherine, Adam's psychiatrist.

Not long ago, when he met Catherine, he attacked her in a savage manner, hurting her badly, like a jerk. At least, before the surgery, he can express his inner apology.

"Cough." Adam was caught off guard and choked again, "Hey, this is Adam." The smile on the corner of his mouth rose, but after taunting, it was a little embarrassing and jerky, and he involuntarily lowered his eyes to hide his emotions.

"Adam?" Catherine was very surprised, obviously not expecting that the other party of the call was actually Adam, "It's already midnight, what's wrong?" Catherine's voice was also a little flustered. It seems that I don't know how to deal with the current situation.

This made Adam laugh dumbly. He chuckled softly, and the corners of his mouth tugged gently, "Probably because of a sudden nervous breakdown." Then he shrugged, "I think, I seem to have pulled my throat just now." Yes, he used the unfamiliar word "throat" instead of throat, which was a weird joke.

"..." This was Catherine's first reaction, she was stunned for about a second, and then she came back to her senses, her panic gradually calmed down, and she said in a slow voice, "I really, really Glad you'll call."

The familiar voice seemed to have a healing energy, and before he could react, his eyes turned red. After experiencing the emotional collapse just now, he now has no protective ability, and it shatters when touched, "I just want this to end soon." His voice began to become hoarse, and a powerful force dragged his legs towards Falling down, a wry smile just overflowed from his mouth, but the glittering light in the corners of his eyes became brighter and brighter, "I'm really fed up with this disease."

The sound suddenly stopped.

Adam clenched his teeth tightly, but he still couldn't restrain the slight trembling of his lips. Glistening tears flickered in the corners of his eyes. The pain that went deep into the bone marrow was like smoke. The stock forbearance and repression, barely maintaining the last trace of dignity, but still can not continue to persist, can only choose to disarm and surrender.

surrender.

In the end, he was defeated like this and chose to surrender. In the face of cancer, I raised my hands, put down my weapons, and gave up all resistance.

Anna Kendrick was suddenly stunned. She was originally here to help with the show. All she needed to do was stand by and read the lines and help Renly get into the show.

But at this moment, looking at Adam sitting in the driver's seat, a little bit eclipsed, a little bit fragmented, a little bit of Adam who surrendered, the pain and despair, through the distance, through the screen, through the night , slowly penetrated, like countless cow hairs, following her pores and blending into the blood.

Suddenly, Anna felt the urge to cry. The uncontrollable grief was about to break her psychological defense. The sourness from her nose made her lower her eyes and concentrate on the script in her hand.

"You know, if the operation is unsuccessful, then... that's it." Adam chuckled, but he couldn't feel the smile at all, just endless disappointment, the light in those eyes flickered gently, But the surrounding night is eroding little by little, as if the naked eye can see, the remaining light is getting weaker and weaker, the passage of vitality is slowly, slowly, but cannot be stopped, so cruel, so desolate.

The smile stopped at the corner of his mouth, as if the smoke dissipated, he made a silent "huh". Light, soft, dazed, lost, lonely. The indifferent light in those eyes was in danger in the rich night, but it was like a flowing feast, mighty and vigorous, blooming in an instant, and annihilating in an instant.

Anna couldn't help holding her breath, lest a little breath of her own might blow away the last vitality, and the tears could not be held back after all, and fell down. She knew that death was cruel, or rather, she thought she knew, but now, when Adam's life and death were being played out in front of her eyes, the turbulent emotions easily defeated her.

The reality is so cold, so cruel... so bloody.

"But...you know, I've never been to damn Canada..." Adam said mockingly, his voice became weak, his nose was running down embarrassingly, he didn't care, he raised his hand and wiped it, trying to put the corner of his mouth away. It rose up, but the light in his eyes was still gradually dimming, and the darkness around him seemed to be getting thicker and thicker, "I never told a girl that I love her..."

The words stopped here, and a breath got stuck in his throat, which could not be changed. He could go on and on if he wanted to, but what was the point of that? This is the end.

His eyelids drooped down again, covering up all his emotions. The brilliance between his brows was gone. There was no sound, no color, and no movement. That look was like the wet and cold water vapor on the streets of Seattle after the rain. , "That sounds so stupid, doesn't it?"

"No, not stupid." Anna found that her voice was trembling slightly. She wanted to continue to say something, but found that her mind was blank. Any language was so pale that she couldn't express her inner emotions at all. To calm down Adam's emotions, he can only stop here in the end.

She bit her lower lip to keep her emotions from leaking out. But it was so difficult.

"Sorry, I was such an asshole that day." The words of apology were finally spoken, Adam raised his hand in a hurry, wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes, and chuckled in relief.

"No, I'm the bastard." Anna shook her head repeatedly and said emotionally, "I'm too incompetent for you. This job is really hard. If I screw up, I could ruin someone's life. lifetime……"

Adam pursed his lips, paused for a moment, and whispered, "I guess we are all beginners."

"Yeah..." Anna replied in a low voice, with a lingering voice.

The two fell silent like this, no one spoke, and the quiet air was slowly flowing.

People always think that they have seen through life and death, that they have conquered nature, that they have mastered the laws of society, but in fact, people have never really understood birth, old age, sickness and death. In front of the laws of nature, everyone is a beginner. , no one can get used to.